A Longish Update
It's been a while since I posted anything. I opened up a blog on the other site that everyone migrated over to. But of course in typical me fashion I don't use it. It's not like I dont have things to say. I just tend to bottle everything up. Saving it all for a rainy day breakdown in the future perhaps.
Things have not been good here. For starters my mother has been in the hospital for I think three weeks now. It honestly blurs together. She went in for her arthritis and a problem with her leg. She could barely walk for the last year or so. The speed in which she turned into my grandmother was scary. I mean needing a cane and a walker just to get around.
She should have been out last week, but she took a slight turn for the worse when she developed a lung infection. She got moved to ICU and was put on a ventilator and under sedation. They also said she caught Covid. I haven't seen her in almost two weeks because I was sick while she was still in the regular hospital room. Now I'm afraid of seeing her like this. I did get tested and I'm negative so far.
My father goes up every day. He says there's only so much you can do standing behind a glass door in the ICU. The good news is her vitals are improving so she is slowly being taken off sedation. Had this not happened she was supposed to go to a nursing home/rehab facility to work on her leg issues. I assume she still is when she gets out. But all of this has made me have thoughts I'd rather not have.
I'm 42 and I understand death is just a part of life we have to accept. I am just not ready yet to accept that she could someday you know. I figured I had another good 15 or 20 years to wait for that. I just don't want to think about it but my damn brain keeps pushing the worst on me. I'm hoping for the best but preparing for the worst.
Aside from that I need to get my shit together and finish the damn script I've been working on for the last few months. It's at the half way point which is great.
I'm gonna try to update this all more often.