{one-shot} How We Measure Love
Before SHINee, before fame, before them, Jonghyun and Key were just trainees. Just acquaintances, just friends.
Jonghyun and Key were sprawled out on the floor of the dance studio. Hair wet and lights dim, it was just the two of them together (practice was over). The streetlights from outside were the only sources of light in the room. They were silent, but still panting for air.
Jonghyun tried to wipe his sweat from his neck using his hands, but his attempt was futile. He just enjoyed touching himself, especially the neck area. The room was silent and they were off in their world. “If you squint your eyes, the lights look like stars.”
Key turned his head to look at Jonghyun. He can make out Jonghyun’s sharp nose, just one of the many features Key admires. Jonghyun was still squinting so Key decided to try it himself. “They do…sort of.”
“Use your imagination.” Jonghyun didn’t notice, but Key pouted and tried his best. The room was silent again with two silly boys. “1, 2, 3, 4, 5-”
“What are you doing?”
“I’m trying to count the stars.”
Jonghyun laughed and turned to stare at Key. He found himself mindlessly staring at a counting Key. It was about '29' when Jonghyun interrupted, “You can’t count all the stars in the world.”
“Who cares? I can try.”
“It’s impossible to count. You can’t determine the amount by counting. Just know that there’s a lot of them, even if you can’t see them. They’re there.” Jonghyun didn’t know why he was opposing Key - he just did it. He ran his hand through his messy hair. He set his hand back down just to find himself with his hand right next to Key’s, fingers almost touching. Almost.
“Then how do you measure the amount of stars if you can’t count them?” Key turned his head away from the lights and towards Jonghyun. Fully aware of the state of their hands, he couldn’t help but twitch his fingers. It was an awkward distance, an awkward placement of hands.
Jonghyun didn’t know how to answer Key, he just stared at the other boy while biting his lower lip. “You don’t need to measure the amount.” Jonghyun watched the light reflect off of Key’s eyes. “Kibum, have you ever been in love?”
Key, confused by the sudden change of topic, pursed his lips together. “No…”
“Well, you know love. How do you measure that? You can’t count how much you love someone.”
Key didn’t get Jonghyun’s logic. But before he could say anything, his cell phone started to ring. It was his alarm - to remind him when he needs to go home before he is late.
“You can leave first, I still have vocal sessions later tonight.”
Key nodded and got up. He smiled to himself - Jonghyun was always so passionate about this. As he walked home, he pondered on Jonghyun’s logic. He really hoped that Jonghyun will explain it to him one day.
Debut was a success and they continued to work hard. They enjoyed what they did. Even though it was hard work, they loved being on stage and doing what they do best. 4 years is a long time and they grew close. They learned to love each other, even if one throws diva fits and the other likes to answer by singing.
Among the practices, recordings, interviews, and performances, Key’s search for an explanation from Jonghyun was lost. What was found was a weird feeling, something that is unexplainable to Key. The old and awkward distances between their hands became nonexistent. Now, their hands linked, fingers crossed between one another. The polite and forced smiles were replaced by frisky nudges or eye-rolls. Weird silences become golden and sweet; they often enjoyed each other’s silence especially when Key rests his head on Jonghyun’s lap and they are doing their own thing. Everything was casual now. Hugs were a daily thing and they always found themselves with each other, in their own little world.
“Can we go get ice cream?” Key had a sudden urge for delicious vanilla ice cream while they were doing their usual routine after dinner: lying on the living room floor.
Jonghyun turned to look at Key, who was playing with his cheeks. “Oooo yeah! I want strawberry. Your treat this time!” He sits up and Key does the same.
“What? No way. I treated last time.”
Jonghyun looked at Key and grinned. He brushes Key’s thigh. “Tag! You’re it!” He gets up and sprints to the door. “You’re treating!”
Key grunts and gets up. “I knew I treated last time. You always pull this trick Kim Jonghyun!” Key laughed to himself, he can never stay mad at Jonghyun.
At the ice cream place, they got their usuals on cones. It wasn’t too late so there were people on the streets, mostly adults a little older than them. They held hands as they walked back to their apartment - fingers linked just the way they like it.
As they walked, Key turned to look at Jonghyun licking away his strawberry ice cream. He starts to examine Jonghyun’s features. Suddenly Key felt nervous. It was stupid, but Key’s heart began to race as he watched Jonghyun’s lips land on the almost-finished ice cream and tongue stick out to lick up some strawberry goodness.
There was silence throughout the time they finished their ice cream, something that was uncommon and rare. No laughs, no jokes. Jonghyun led Key to the sidewalk and they sat on a bench. Hands still linked, they were still silent.
Jonghyun yawned and stretched, breaking apart their hands. “Look up.”
Key stared at Jonghyun and realized what he said. He tilts his head up and saw that there were more stars in the sky than other times. He happily grinned, “Shining stars! It’s our brothers and sisters.”
Jonghyun chuckled and placed his hands on Key’s. He let out a breath and smiled. “Four years now Kibum, it’s been a long time.” Their eyes locked and Key felt his face burning up - Jonghyun never looked better. Jonghyun paused to make sure he had Key’s attention before saying what he wanted to say. “Thank you.”
There were no more words that needed to be said. Key understood everything Jonghyun was trying to convey. Two words were enough to reach Key’s heart. Key didn’t say “You’re welcome” or anything else because that wasn’t him. He just smiled and linked their hands back together.
They got up to walk back to apartment, swinging their hands back and forth while they stroll. It was then when Key suddenly remembered their little chat four years ago. How do you measure love? Without hesitating, he asked, “Jong, how do you measure love?”
Jonghyun looked at Key, confused and caught off guard by the question. But he realized soon enough and plastered a big smile on his face. “You still remember that?”
“Yeah, with the stars and all tonight, it just came up in my mind.”
“Think about it.”
Key pouted, dissatisfied with the answer. “I don’t want to think. about. it.” Jonghyun didn’t give an answer and just laughed to himself.
While they were walking, a young man was coming towards them on a crowded street. He had no where to turn to avoid the two boys and decided to walk between them.
Key didn’t know why he did it. He raised their hands when the young man was about to break their link. Key looked at Jonghyun and saw the young man walk between them under their hand-bridge. Jonghyun realized what happened and laughed. It was great, no it was superb.
After the young man walked past them, Key became embarrassed. He started to laugh, hoping the embarrassment would go away. Jonghyun tugged Key’s hand, stilling smiling happily as ever.
Key buried his face into Jonghyun’s shoulder, still chuckling.
Jonghyun hoping to answer Key’s earlier question, “See what happened just now? You don’t need an answer from me. You got it.”
Key looked up at Jonghyun and directed his attention to his question. Trying to figure out just what Jonghyun was saying, he was silent for the rest of the trip back home.
And then he got it. He understood what Jonghyun was saying, or at least his own version of it. Like stars, love is immeasurable. Also like stars, you don’t need to measure love. Stars will always be where they are, even if they cannot be scene by the human eye. Similarly, love is all around and sometimes people just have to realize that it’s there. “I got it.”
“Great. Now, aren’t I a genius? That’s great logic right there.”
Key jokingly scoffed and then proceeded to break apart their hands. He positioned himself behind Jonghyun and wrapped his arms around Jonghyun’s waist. “I wanna walk like this back to the dorm.”
“Whatever want you want.” Jonghyun placed his arms on Key’s and they started to walk. Just like that, Key nuzzling Jonghyun’s neck and Jonghyun humming familiar love tunes, they went back home.
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I haven't written a fic in 2 years or so D: I hope you enjoyed this little tidbit from my mind.
If you're curious, what I saw on the streets was between two gay men who had their hands linked. They did exactly what Key&Jong did on the streets. Except, I'm bad at describing things so what happened was much sweeter than what I said XD
Feedback is greatly loved & appreciated ♥