{one-shot} Please, don't love.
Please, don't love.
→ Jonghyun/Key; PG-16
Heartbreak will surely come.
Sequel to Use me, when you want to abuse me.
Side story: You won't let me love you.
A reason to live. Some live for pursuit of distant dreams, some live for the money, some live for others.
As for Key, he’s waiting on that reason.
When one gives, one expects something in return. As for Key, he gets nothing. Nothing but a few praises to get his legs spread open. A few compliments on how sexy he looks when his legs are spread open.
He’s clutching Minho’s note in his hand, lying on his bed. Once again, waiting for the usual 10:19 routine. And he feels so desolate and lost. After Minho left, Key was a bit more bitter, numb to most things - like a robot.
Jonghyun slides the window up and climbs in, but Key doesn’t hear anything - some things you just get used to. The older boy makes his way to Key’s bed and sits down on the side.
“Still not going to school?”
Key shakes his head and sits up, quietly sliding the note under his pillow. “Don’t really feel like it.” He stares at his hands, eyes avoiding Jonghyun - just waiting for the moment where Jonghyun will push him down on the bed and begin his feast.
Unsurprisingly, Jonghyun straddles Key and nudges Key against the headboard. He plants soft kisses on Key’s neck which grow into hungry nibbles. Between the kisses and the fumbling of clothes, Jonghyun tells Key how much he misses the scent of his body, how much he misses the way it felt when their bodies came in contact. Really, it has only been one day though.
All this time, Key just watches Jonghyun. Still handsome and still perfect (in his eyes), the Jonghyun that he always wants is still a fool. And somehow, a wave of sadness washes over Key and he plunges down into a sense of loneliness. He begins to cry silently, beautiful tears trailing down from the corner of his eyes to his jaws. It isn’t long before Jonghyun notices the wet drops falling onto him.
All sexual activities come to a halt. Jonghyun looks up at Key and his eyes are met with a pair of glittering pool of sorrow. He opens his mouth to speak, but he can only let out a breath. Jonghyun watches Key cry - crying harder and harder. It’s different from the times Key cried as a kid. Now the sorrow comes from the heart.
“I….” He shuts his mouth before he says anything stupid. Jonghyun proceeds to lift Key’s shirt off his body. He takes the younger boy’s hand and drags him off the bed. “Let’s go take a shower. We haven’t done that in a while.”
Key wipes his tears and nods quietly. “I know.” How bitter.
Their shower is awkward, Key facing the wall and not Jonghyun, and silent. Key examines his lower body and sees all marks Jonghyun made to claim his territory.
“Let me wash your hair.” Jonghyun pumps shampoo into his hands and runs them through Key’s wet hair. A sweet strawberry scent starts to fill the air. Jonghyun leans in and trail small kisses down Key’s nape. “Kibum…” Key winces; Jonghyun hasn’t called Key that for a long time.
The warm water beats on Key’s head and by now he can’t even tell the difference between his tears and the water. It’s a bit disappointing to him that he’s realizing how stupid he has been up to now
Jonghyun wraps a towel around Key and guides him out the bathroom. “Wanna sleep?” He trails his thumb down Key’s bare chest. Sleep to Jonghyun can mean so many different things. But they sleep, the normal kind of sleeping where the two curled up next to each other. If strangers saw this scene, they’d think they were a pair of lovers.
Jonghyun’s internal alarm clock wakes him to find a peaceful Key resting on his chest. He amuses himself by noticing how the light falls on Key’s face so perfectly, highlighting every beautiful feature of the younger boy’s face. Almost angelic.
It starts to feel like love again.
Jonghyun has to leave, has to hurry and leave. Before Key wakes up, before he realizes what he leaves behind every time. Jonghyun knows Key will cry. Affection always turns into tears.
“Jjong…coke bottle please…” Key utters, still asleep. And it stops Jonghyun in his tracks. Key laughs, “I’m more popular…” There are strings pulling on Jonghyun’s heart, who wonders if this is what happens every night he leaves.
Key only gets to talk to Jonghyun in his dreams.
Jonghyun sits up and places Key on his lap, proceeding to watch the younger boy sleep through the night. He’s staying for once, for the first time.
Key is smiling, the happiest he’s been in a while and it’s all in his dreams. “You’re my best friend….don’t go.” A storm rages inside Jonghyun. Key takes back his smile. “I love you.” The confession that was ignored, and is always ignored. The confession that can only be repeated in his dream.
It was somewhere between the first time they kissed and the first time they had sex that Jonghyun realized it was dangerous. To him, it was risky to give his heart to his most cherished. It would be like a bomb, waiting to blow up any minute.
Since no one was there to tell him what the hell he was feeling, he decided himself that it’ll lead to heartbreak no matter how strong the feeling is. It always ends in broken hearts. He doesn’t want to lose Key, he can’t lose Key.
That’s why he leaves, he ignores, he fucks, and he leaves. Trapped, Key is being thrashed around in this cruel cycle. All Jonghyun wanted was to keep Key around and keep his own heart safe. Selfish.
That’s why he doesn’t love.
Key stirs in his sleep and tears start to form at the corner of his eyes. He’s replaying his story, their story in his dreams. Jonghyun watches the tears stream down, hearing Key gasping for air.
He shouldn’t have stayed because now, all the guilt starts to pile up with every teardrop. This love, he’s not sure if he’s able to reject it anymore. But he’s also unsure of how he’s going to accept it, if he does.
It doesn’t really help Jonghyun, thinking about Minho’s note. If he could, he’d give Key away to Minho - a better candidate as a lover. However, Jonghyun can’t. Key should stay his, always and forever. It’s cruel how love works. It really isn’t fair. Loving Key, it was something he never really thought about. Jonghyun doesn’t know how to love. Jonghyun’s heart lied while Key cried rivers of tears.
“I’m not worthy to be your lover,” he whispers.
The tears keep coming as Jonghyun tries to wipe the tears away. He keeps trying to stop the tears, hoping that this notion will stop all of Key’s pain. It only wakes Key up, confused and dazed.
“Jonghyun?” The other boy nods. “You’re crying?”
“No, you’re crying.” Key notices his drenched face and quickly wipes his face with his shirt.
“You’re here…”
“I’m here.”
“Why…?”
“I don’t know. Something in me told me to stay. You said not to go.”
“I’m still dreaming, aren’t I? I’m gonna wake up like this, except alone. You’re gonna sex me up now and - “
“No. It isn’t’ a dream and I’m here to…because I…” Key stares blankly at Jonghyun, sniffling. “I-I don’t know. Kibum. I’m so stupid. Sorry.”
Jonghyun has never looked so vulnerable in front of Key, or any body else. He stumbles over his words and is caught up in his thoughts. The confident and cocky Jonghyun Key knew is no longer here, but is replaced with an apologetic and exposed teenage boy.
“You’re sorry?” If Key looked at Jonghyun long enough, he’d find Jonghyun’s eyes are pleading for acceptance.
“Kibum,” Jonghyun squeezes Key’s hand, “I’m so sorry.”
It finally starts to sink in, just exactly what Jonghyun was getting at. And this moment is a bit bittersweet for Key. Who knew that it’d only take Jonghyun three simple words to undo all the wrongs he has done. Key didn’t, but he wanted to catch this moment before it somehow leaks through the palm of his hands. No words were necessary. Just a simple kiss to seal the deal.
Now, still madly in love. Key is still waiting for those three words from Jonghyun. He wants to wait because he’s sure that they’ll come soon, very soon.
_______________
Sorry this took SO long.
I think a happy ending wouldn't suitable. I left some room for your imagination and thoughts to work out exactly why everything happened. I hope it's clear why Jonghyun acted the way he did ._. /end ramble
I really hope you enjoyed it ;_; ♥
→ Jonghyun/Key; PG-16
Heartbreak will surely come.
Sequel to Use me, when you want to abuse me.
Side story: You won't let me love you.
A reason to live. Some live for pursuit of distant dreams, some live for the money, some live for others.
As for Key, he’s waiting on that reason.
When one gives, one expects something in return. As for Key, he gets nothing. Nothing but a few praises to get his legs spread open. A few compliments on how sexy he looks when his legs are spread open.
He’s clutching Minho’s note in his hand, lying on his bed. Once again, waiting for the usual 10:19 routine. And he feels so desolate and lost. After Minho left, Key was a bit more bitter, numb to most things - like a robot.
Jonghyun slides the window up and climbs in, but Key doesn’t hear anything - some things you just get used to. The older boy makes his way to Key’s bed and sits down on the side.
“Still not going to school?”
Key shakes his head and sits up, quietly sliding the note under his pillow. “Don’t really feel like it.” He stares at his hands, eyes avoiding Jonghyun - just waiting for the moment where Jonghyun will push him down on the bed and begin his feast.
Unsurprisingly, Jonghyun straddles Key and nudges Key against the headboard. He plants soft kisses on Key’s neck which grow into hungry nibbles. Between the kisses and the fumbling of clothes, Jonghyun tells Key how much he misses the scent of his body, how much he misses the way it felt when their bodies came in contact. Really, it has only been one day though.
All this time, Key just watches Jonghyun. Still handsome and still perfect (in his eyes), the Jonghyun that he always wants is still a fool. And somehow, a wave of sadness washes over Key and he plunges down into a sense of loneliness. He begins to cry silently, beautiful tears trailing down from the corner of his eyes to his jaws. It isn’t long before Jonghyun notices the wet drops falling onto him.
All sexual activities come to a halt. Jonghyun looks up at Key and his eyes are met with a pair of glittering pool of sorrow. He opens his mouth to speak, but he can only let out a breath. Jonghyun watches Key cry - crying harder and harder. It’s different from the times Key cried as a kid. Now the sorrow comes from the heart.
“I….” He shuts his mouth before he says anything stupid. Jonghyun proceeds to lift Key’s shirt off his body. He takes the younger boy’s hand and drags him off the bed. “Let’s go take a shower. We haven’t done that in a while.”
Key wipes his tears and nods quietly. “I know.” How bitter.
Their shower is awkward, Key facing the wall and not Jonghyun, and silent. Key examines his lower body and sees all marks Jonghyun made to claim his territory.
“Let me wash your hair.” Jonghyun pumps shampoo into his hands and runs them through Key’s wet hair. A sweet strawberry scent starts to fill the air. Jonghyun leans in and trail small kisses down Key’s nape. “Kibum…” Key winces; Jonghyun hasn’t called Key that for a long time.
The warm water beats on Key’s head and by now he can’t even tell the difference between his tears and the water. It’s a bit disappointing to him that he’s realizing how stupid he has been up to now
Jonghyun wraps a towel around Key and guides him out the bathroom. “Wanna sleep?” He trails his thumb down Key’s bare chest. Sleep to Jonghyun can mean so many different things. But they sleep, the normal kind of sleeping where the two curled up next to each other. If strangers saw this scene, they’d think they were a pair of lovers.
Jonghyun’s internal alarm clock wakes him to find a peaceful Key resting on his chest. He amuses himself by noticing how the light falls on Key’s face so perfectly, highlighting every beautiful feature of the younger boy’s face. Almost angelic.
It starts to feel like love again.
Jonghyun has to leave, has to hurry and leave. Before Key wakes up, before he realizes what he leaves behind every time. Jonghyun knows Key will cry. Affection always turns into tears.
“Jjong…coke bottle please…” Key utters, still asleep. And it stops Jonghyun in his tracks. Key laughs, “I’m more popular…” There are strings pulling on Jonghyun’s heart, who wonders if this is what happens every night he leaves.
Key only gets to talk to Jonghyun in his dreams.
Jonghyun sits up and places Key on his lap, proceeding to watch the younger boy sleep through the night. He’s staying for once, for the first time.
Key is smiling, the happiest he’s been in a while and it’s all in his dreams. “You’re my best friend….don’t go.” A storm rages inside Jonghyun. Key takes back his smile. “I love you.” The confession that was ignored, and is always ignored. The confession that can only be repeated in his dream.
It was somewhere between the first time they kissed and the first time they had sex that Jonghyun realized it was dangerous. To him, it was risky to give his heart to his most cherished. It would be like a bomb, waiting to blow up any minute.
Since no one was there to tell him what the hell he was feeling, he decided himself that it’ll lead to heartbreak no matter how strong the feeling is. It always ends in broken hearts. He doesn’t want to lose Key, he can’t lose Key.
That’s why he leaves, he ignores, he fucks, and he leaves. Trapped, Key is being thrashed around in this cruel cycle. All Jonghyun wanted was to keep Key around and keep his own heart safe. Selfish.
That’s why he doesn’t love.
Key stirs in his sleep and tears start to form at the corner of his eyes. He’s replaying his story, their story in his dreams. Jonghyun watches the tears stream down, hearing Key gasping for air.
He shouldn’t have stayed because now, all the guilt starts to pile up with every teardrop. This love, he’s not sure if he’s able to reject it anymore. But he’s also unsure of how he’s going to accept it, if he does.
It doesn’t really help Jonghyun, thinking about Minho’s note. If he could, he’d give Key away to Minho - a better candidate as a lover. However, Jonghyun can’t. Key should stay his, always and forever. It’s cruel how love works. It really isn’t fair. Loving Key, it was something he never really thought about. Jonghyun doesn’t know how to love. Jonghyun’s heart lied while Key cried rivers of tears.
“I’m not worthy to be your lover,” he whispers.
The tears keep coming as Jonghyun tries to wipe the tears away. He keeps trying to stop the tears, hoping that this notion will stop all of Key’s pain. It only wakes Key up, confused and dazed.
“Jonghyun?” The other boy nods. “You’re crying?”
“No, you’re crying.” Key notices his drenched face and quickly wipes his face with his shirt.
“You’re here…”
“I’m here.”
“Why…?”
“I don’t know. Something in me told me to stay. You said not to go.”
“I’m still dreaming, aren’t I? I’m gonna wake up like this, except alone. You’re gonna sex me up now and - “
“No. It isn’t’ a dream and I’m here to…because I…” Key stares blankly at Jonghyun, sniffling. “I-I don’t know. Kibum. I’m so stupid. Sorry.”
Jonghyun has never looked so vulnerable in front of Key, or any body else. He stumbles over his words and is caught up in his thoughts. The confident and cocky Jonghyun Key knew is no longer here, but is replaced with an apologetic and exposed teenage boy.
“You’re sorry?” If Key looked at Jonghyun long enough, he’d find Jonghyun’s eyes are pleading for acceptance.
“Kibum,” Jonghyun squeezes Key’s hand, “I’m so sorry.”
It finally starts to sink in, just exactly what Jonghyun was getting at. And this moment is a bit bittersweet for Key. Who knew that it’d only take Jonghyun three simple words to undo all the wrongs he has done. Key didn’t, but he wanted to catch this moment before it somehow leaks through the palm of his hands. No words were necessary. Just a simple kiss to seal the deal.
Now, still madly in love. Key is still waiting for those three words from Jonghyun. He wants to wait because he’s sure that they’ll come soon, very soon.
_______________
Sorry this took SO long.
I think a happy ending wouldn't suitable. I left some room for your imagination and thoughts to work out exactly why everything happened. I hope it's clear why Jonghyun acted the way he did ._. /end ramble
I really hope you enjoyed it ;_; ♥