(no subject)
Umm...Hi! For those of you (2) who read this for my writing, here's some more! For those of you who just want to know how I'm doing and can't bother yourselves to read more than 3 sentences (8) I'm doing great! Things are good. I almost impulse bought plane tickets to Germany yesterday! oops. World Cup makes me excited. Anyways in important news, there is no important news. In non-important news, my room is dirty and I need to buy a fan. That's all. I wrote this today, comments, queries, insults are always welcome!
Lying there on the brink of sweating, I rocked myself to sleep with a shivering indecision. Everything that blurred through my mind did little to calm me. As I struggled to sift madness from memory, I tossed to my side and tried to think. But I could not concentrate. The more I thought about the strangeness that had come to pass, the more I could feel the pins and needles of regret; that tremor of the heart that weakens knees. I told myself long ago that I would live without that feeling. I had cast it off in a previous shedding of my psyche, but somehow, in this iteration of metamorphic genesis, I found a faint fluttering of sickness trembling between each beat of my heart. Fetal, I lay there lost, wondering what had brought me to these feelings. The footage from my videographic memory had become damaged on re-entry. As if the heat and potential embarrassment of the atmosphere of reality warped the film, my recollections from that time were spotty, fragmented, and disjointed in such a way that moments of happiness and triumph juxtaposed instances of strangeness and indiscretion. The true perception could not be proved by playback, lost behind clouded vision and sandwiched layers of indiscernible polarity.
So I rolled around, the hot air smothering me like a blanket of undue guilt. Each turn, from side to back to side, failed to provide any comfort. And then I opened my eyes. The ceiling was painted in the cool blue that only exists past midnight. I sighed and drank in the obvious foolishness of my life and all life, realizing that this is the purpose. A life without mistakes, without confusion, mental torment, or sleepless nights is not life. And as that thought grew like condensation in the middle of my mind, the night grew cooler. A breeze rolled in as if to show its appreciation. My eyes closed and I was comforted by all occurrence of discomfort. The cacophony of my busy mind shouted around me, still frantically trying to figure it all out. But I had found the third eye of the storm; serenity through acceptance. I smiled as the dew of realization coalesced from between the hemispheres of my brain, and in a calm lightness, I fell to sleep.
If I haven't seen you, I will see you. If I haven't seen you in a while, I'll see you soon. If I see you all the time, I'll see you later! :) All my love to all of you!
Lying there on the brink of sweating, I rocked myself to sleep with a shivering indecision. Everything that blurred through my mind did little to calm me. As I struggled to sift madness from memory, I tossed to my side and tried to think. But I could not concentrate. The more I thought about the strangeness that had come to pass, the more I could feel the pins and needles of regret; that tremor of the heart that weakens knees. I told myself long ago that I would live without that feeling. I had cast it off in a previous shedding of my psyche, but somehow, in this iteration of metamorphic genesis, I found a faint fluttering of sickness trembling between each beat of my heart. Fetal, I lay there lost, wondering what had brought me to these feelings. The footage from my videographic memory had become damaged on re-entry. As if the heat and potential embarrassment of the atmosphere of reality warped the film, my recollections from that time were spotty, fragmented, and disjointed in such a way that moments of happiness and triumph juxtaposed instances of strangeness and indiscretion. The true perception could not be proved by playback, lost behind clouded vision and sandwiched layers of indiscernible polarity.
So I rolled around, the hot air smothering me like a blanket of undue guilt. Each turn, from side to back to side, failed to provide any comfort. And then I opened my eyes. The ceiling was painted in the cool blue that only exists past midnight. I sighed and drank in the obvious foolishness of my life and all life, realizing that this is the purpose. A life without mistakes, without confusion, mental torment, or sleepless nights is not life. And as that thought grew like condensation in the middle of my mind, the night grew cooler. A breeze rolled in as if to show its appreciation. My eyes closed and I was comforted by all occurrence of discomfort. The cacophony of my busy mind shouted around me, still frantically trying to figure it all out. But I had found the third eye of the storm; serenity through acceptance. I smiled as the dew of realization coalesced from between the hemispheres of my brain, and in a calm lightness, I fell to sleep.
If I haven't seen you, I will see you. If I haven't seen you in a while, I'll see you soon. If I see you all the time, I'll see you later! :) All my love to all of you!