...
Tonight is one of those nights I lay awake.
Sometimes I have nightmares.
I used to have nightmares every night, about all sorts of things. I could handle those. But these, they come around every week and I can't handle them.
What happens is I go back through that day, I feel everything I felt, I see everything I saw and I snap awake and throw up. I cry. And I thank the doctors at the U of A that I'm alive.
It makes me literally sick to relive what I did to myself.
And the feeling of falling into near death haunts me, I can't get rid of it.
I'm just so happy I failed, I'm so happy I left class and ran to the ER, that they could flush my system in time.
But at least once a week since that day I've had this living nightmare, and it terrifies me. It makes my blood run cold every time I think of it. The memory of feeling my body shut down and start to die is completely petrifying.
I hope they'll stop soon too, like the other after effects did.
I really do.
Sometimes I have nightmares.
I used to have nightmares every night, about all sorts of things. I could handle those. But these, they come around every week and I can't handle them.
What happens is I go back through that day, I feel everything I felt, I see everything I saw and I snap awake and throw up. I cry. And I thank the doctors at the U of A that I'm alive.
It makes me literally sick to relive what I did to myself.
And the feeling of falling into near death haunts me, I can't get rid of it.
I'm just so happy I failed, I'm so happy I left class and ran to the ER, that they could flush my system in time.
But at least once a week since that day I've had this living nightmare, and it terrifies me. It makes my blood run cold every time I think of it. The memory of feeling my body shut down and start to die is completely petrifying.
I hope they'll stop soon too, like the other after effects did.
I really do.