Leaving on a jet plane...
I leave for London tomorrow! And I'm terrified. More on the "holy shit, what if I miss my flight?!?" and also once I get there, I have to take a bus, and two trains in order to reach Kate. Alone. At night. In a strange city I have only been to once a long time ago. SCARY!!
On the plus side, I paid a good chunk of money to have my hair colored and highlighted, so now it looks totally awesome. Still brown, with slightly lighter highlights. Yum. Totally worth it.
Today is just gross. I've figured out I get a total of about 4 days with Mikal since I go to London tomorrow until the 15th, then the 17th she leaves for Paris with Adrian (her boy... her IRISH boy... yeah....) and when she gets back she leaves for home 3 days later. I won't make a big deal about it. We would have had to part eventually, and she's coming on the Chicago trip this summer, but still. She's my best friend here. I really don't want her to leave. I don't know what I'll do with myself when she's gone.
i'm feeling really lonely tonight. I turned down an inviation to a wine-and-cheese party with Mikal nad some of Adrian's friends, so I could work on my novel while I actually get computer time, but now I'm just sad. Missing everyone from home. I really want to call someone - anyone - from back home, but its too expensive to call from my cell, and no one calls me here except my parents. But they aren't the ones I want to talk to. /sniffle
Also, I got the letter that I wrote myself just before I left - St Kates sent it to me. I was so full of dreams and expectations, and I feel like I've completed none of those. I'm just the same old me, with pierced ears and fantastic hair. (giggle)
But I haven't got an Irish boyfriend, I haven't had great adventures. I've had some, sure, but I haven't become this great, mature, awesome person I wanted to be. I haven't gotten brave, I haven't gotten over Nathan, I haven't lost any weight, I haven't made tons of great friends. I'm ready to go home, but I feel if I leave early I'll disappoint my parents, and maybe miss out on something. Except what is there to miss out on? There is nothing here. At least nothing that I have found.
Before I leave, I will go to the Cliffs of Moher, the ring of Kerry, and that's what i want to do.
I'm so scared for when Mikal leaves. I don't want to be left alone. April will go by fast, I think, so its a matter of getting through May. My birthday, of which I have to spend without my sister. Which is really going to suck. Me, Esther, and Kicki have birthdays in a cluster, so we will probably do something, except Kicki's phone doesn't work so I can NEVER get ahold of her, and whenever I do she is always too busy. Uggh.
Stupid FB won't even open, and I need to get the directions from Gatwick to Kate. I don't like today. I might walk to Java's (which has opened again! Hurray!) and get a cup of coffee, even though it's raining and gross. Mikal and I are supposed to get drinks after she gets back from her party, but I have a feeling she'll spend the night at Adrian's again. I don't want to be whiny, and do a "pay attention to meeeeee!" but she's going to spend a whole blissful long weekend floating around Paris with Adrian! She should really hang out with me instead! I've texted Esther to see if maybe they are at Java's, because I hate the idea of sitting at a table by myself. I could bring a notebook and pretend to write, I suppose. Hmmm. Maybe I'll do that.
Even if it is totally gross outside, and its dry in my apartment. It's also really quiet, and it's freaking me out.
Oh, but a happy note! For tomorrows trip, I got books at the library!
They are:
-Victoria and the Rogue - Meg Cabot (yeah baby, love her. the one I really wanted, Every Boy's Got One, but its checked out. i've got it on reserve. it would be here when I get back.)
-Temple of the Winds - Terry Goodkind (next book in the series! the library has the whole thing! yes! even though I heard this one sucked. but thats ok. it just brings me one step closer to the other books.)
-Bad Kitty - Michelle Jaffe (she did a vlog with Meg Cabot, so I figured I should check out her stuff.)
Plus I have the Nora Roberts that i bought that I have to finish, plus the Doctor Who book Kate let me borrow.
At least I won't be bored on the bus ride! And I'm bringing my mini iPod. I knew there was a reason I brought 2!
I keep freaking out too, because my rent this summer is $235 a month. It's totally doable, since I will probably make more than that per month at the library, but it puts me in a tight spot for money, especially with all the fun things I had planned like:
-HP chicago trip
-CONvergence
-costume for CONvergence
-HP 6 movie
-will probably want to go out with friends a lot since, you know, I haven't seen them in 5 months.
So yeah. I hate not having money. Phoo. But I'll manage.
I keep glancing out the window and seeing the night as ominous. So even though I should get out, I am going to stay in and work on my novel. Call it a gut feeling. Plus the dark clouds are just tearing across the sky. Creepy.
Okay. I will stop ranting now. This entry has been much longer than I expected.
WHOAH. I looked outside and the remaining light in the sky just disappeared. Now I'm definitely staying in.
I love you all!
Send good luck thoughts to me tomorrow! I'm going to need them.
On the plus side, I paid a good chunk of money to have my hair colored and highlighted, so now it looks totally awesome. Still brown, with slightly lighter highlights. Yum. Totally worth it.
Today is just gross. I've figured out I get a total of about 4 days with Mikal since I go to London tomorrow until the 15th, then the 17th she leaves for Paris with Adrian (her boy... her IRISH boy... yeah....) and when she gets back she leaves for home 3 days later. I won't make a big deal about it. We would have had to part eventually, and she's coming on the Chicago trip this summer, but still. She's my best friend here. I really don't want her to leave. I don't know what I'll do with myself when she's gone.
i'm feeling really lonely tonight. I turned down an inviation to a wine-and-cheese party with Mikal nad some of Adrian's friends, so I could work on my novel while I actually get computer time, but now I'm just sad. Missing everyone from home. I really want to call someone - anyone - from back home, but its too expensive to call from my cell, and no one calls me here except my parents. But they aren't the ones I want to talk to. /sniffle
Also, I got the letter that I wrote myself just before I left - St Kates sent it to me. I was so full of dreams and expectations, and I feel like I've completed none of those. I'm just the same old me, with pierced ears and fantastic hair. (giggle)
But I haven't got an Irish boyfriend, I haven't had great adventures. I've had some, sure, but I haven't become this great, mature, awesome person I wanted to be. I haven't gotten brave, I haven't gotten over Nathan, I haven't lost any weight, I haven't made tons of great friends. I'm ready to go home, but I feel if I leave early I'll disappoint my parents, and maybe miss out on something. Except what is there to miss out on? There is nothing here. At least nothing that I have found.
Before I leave, I will go to the Cliffs of Moher, the ring of Kerry, and that's what i want to do.
I'm so scared for when Mikal leaves. I don't want to be left alone. April will go by fast, I think, so its a matter of getting through May. My birthday, of which I have to spend without my sister. Which is really going to suck. Me, Esther, and Kicki have birthdays in a cluster, so we will probably do something, except Kicki's phone doesn't work so I can NEVER get ahold of her, and whenever I do she is always too busy. Uggh.
Stupid FB won't even open, and I need to get the directions from Gatwick to Kate. I don't like today. I might walk to Java's (which has opened again! Hurray!) and get a cup of coffee, even though it's raining and gross. Mikal and I are supposed to get drinks after she gets back from her party, but I have a feeling she'll spend the night at Adrian's again. I don't want to be whiny, and do a "pay attention to meeeeee!" but she's going to spend a whole blissful long weekend floating around Paris with Adrian! She should really hang out with me instead! I've texted Esther to see if maybe they are at Java's, because I hate the idea of sitting at a table by myself. I could bring a notebook and pretend to write, I suppose. Hmmm. Maybe I'll do that.
Even if it is totally gross outside, and its dry in my apartment. It's also really quiet, and it's freaking me out.
Oh, but a happy note! For tomorrows trip, I got books at the library!
They are:
-Victoria and the Rogue - Meg Cabot (yeah baby, love her. the one I really wanted, Every Boy's Got One, but its checked out. i've got it on reserve. it would be here when I get back.)
-Temple of the Winds - Terry Goodkind (next book in the series! the library has the whole thing! yes! even though I heard this one sucked. but thats ok. it just brings me one step closer to the other books.)
-Bad Kitty - Michelle Jaffe (she did a vlog with Meg Cabot, so I figured I should check out her stuff.)
Plus I have the Nora Roberts that i bought that I have to finish, plus the Doctor Who book Kate let me borrow.
At least I won't be bored on the bus ride! And I'm bringing my mini iPod. I knew there was a reason I brought 2!
I keep freaking out too, because my rent this summer is $235 a month. It's totally doable, since I will probably make more than that per month at the library, but it puts me in a tight spot for money, especially with all the fun things I had planned like:
-HP chicago trip
-CONvergence
-costume for CONvergence
-HP 6 movie
-will probably want to go out with friends a lot since, you know, I haven't seen them in 5 months.
So yeah. I hate not having money. Phoo. But I'll manage.
I keep glancing out the window and seeing the night as ominous. So even though I should get out, I am going to stay in and work on my novel. Call it a gut feeling. Plus the dark clouds are just tearing across the sky. Creepy.
Okay. I will stop ranting now. This entry has been much longer than I expected.
WHOAH. I looked outside and the remaining light in the sky just disappeared. Now I'm definitely staying in.
I love you all!
Send good luck thoughts to me tomorrow! I'm going to need them.