Close the Door, Pull the Shades - Part 10 of 10, Leverage, NC-17
Fandom: Leverage
Title: Close the Door, Pull the Shades - Part Ten ( Story Index)
Pairing/Characters: Nate/Eliot, Nate/Sophie, Hardison, Parker
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 4248
Summary: Getting Eliot back doesn't solve all of their problems. Eliot and Nate struggle to come to terms with what has happened. Parker thinks they're both morons.
A/Ns & Warnings: This is, as is becoming usual, havenward's fault. Although it started with merry_gentry's first vampire!Nate prompt on comment_fic. thus, this is a vampire!Nate fic. As such, this will include biting and some blood play. This is the final chapter in this story, but I expect more to happen in this verse, so don't worry. In fact, one way to ensure there's more is to mosey over to comment_fic and prompt me, on days when such a prompt is appropriate.
Shiny, pretty artwork was sent to me today by raggedy_edge
Eliot wakes suddenly, a feeling like he wasn't alone pulling him through the confusion of drugs and injuries and nightmares that cling to him even as he opens his eyes.
The room is dark, but it clearly isn't the prison he last really remembers waking in. He feels heavy, but not tied down, not restrained in the classical sense. His eyes sweep the shadows.
Hospital. Tubes and wires stick out of him, run away to monitors and machines.
The shadows nearest the window move, turn. Even in the dark Eliot knows. "Nate." His throat is raw, his voice scrapes through it like a razor blade and the shadows shift until Nate separates from them, moving to the bed with a finger to his mouth.
"Shh…don't…not yet." He sits on a stool at Eliot's side, tears shimmering in his eyes. He smiles softly, a hand lifting to brush over Eliot's face. "You gave me quite a scare…but you're going to be okay."
Eliot swallows around the pain, blinks. "Marquez?" His voice give out before the word ends, but Nate nods.
"Gone. I took care of him."
Eliot thinks maybe he should be worried about that, maybe he should be concerned for Nate…or that despite everything they are together again, but he can't keep his eyes open and Nate is whispering words that Eliot can't seem to understand, and sleep seems so much more important than telling Nate he should go.
The next time he convinces his eyes to open, it's daylight and Parker is there as the nurse changes out his IV and withdraws. His throat isn't as sore, his body not as heavy. He blinks as Parker smiles at him.
"Hey."
Eliot shifts and looks around the bright room.
"We made him go get some sleep." She's sitting in the chair by the bed now, her feet under her. "We've been taking turns."
Eliot frowns a little and lifts a hand a lot less encumbered by machinery than before to rub an itchy nose. "You don't have to babysit." His voice is still rough, but it doesn't hurt so much to talk.
"Nothing better to do. Nate won't let us steal things…and none of us fly home for a few days." She crosses her arms and tries to look like she isn't concerned, but he can see it in her eyes.
"How long?"
"Five days. The first two we couldn't pry Nate out of here."
Eliot can feel himself frowning. Parker's face echoes the frown. "What?" she asks and he shakes his head.
"Nothing."
"That wasn't a nothing face. That was a something face."
"No…I'm just…sore."
"Bullshit." She stands beside the bed, staring down at him. "Spill."
Eliot closes his eyes and turns his head away. He wishes she would go away now, but before he can express the desire, her hand is on his chest, pressing against bandages, against a wound. "Ow!"
"He nearly died saving you."
"Exactly." Eliot spits the word, pushing her hand away from him. "You all nearly died because of me."
She looks genuinely confused. "What?"
"I don't really want to talk about it, Parker."
"How's our boy today?"
Eliot turns his face to the wall as Hardison comes into the room.
"He's a moron." Parker says, storming out of the room. "I don't get boys."
"I take it that means you're awake finally." Hardison says as Eliot hears him sit in the chair.
"Not for long." Eliot says softly, closing his eyes. The only problem with closing his eyes is that makes him remember. He longs for more of the good drugs, the dreamless sleep that comes with them. Instead he settles for ignoring Hardison and pretending…because at least that way he doesn't feel the need to talk.
Nate comes with the sunset, relieving Hardison. Eliot can hear them whisper at the door, but keeps his eyes closed, his breathing even. The door closes and Nate's presence moves closer.
"I know you're awake."
Eliot sighs and opens an eye. "Trying not to be."
"You know, Hardison is convinced you hate him."
"What?" Eliot turns, grimacing a little as pain registers. "Why?"
Nate pulls the chair closer. "There's a lot you don't know." He sits slowly. "Hardison was tortured. Bled, electric shock, beaten. He's carrying a lot of guilt."
"That's how Marquez found us." Eliot's stomach knots. "And I sat here and ignored him all day."
"I've worked hard to make him understand I don't blame him." Nate says it softly, but it still hurts.
"It isn't his fault." Eliot knows that deep in his gut.
"It isn't yours either." Nate responds, his hand coming to rest on Eliot's. He wants to pull it away, but can't quite bring himself to. "You hear me?"
"I hear you fine." Eliot says, though his voice is bitter. "But who else are we going to blame, Nate?"
"Why do we have to blame anyone?"
Eliot draws in a deep breath. "I know this isn't what you wanted."
"You lying in a hospital bed? No, I never did want that."
"You know what I mean. I heard you say it. You never wanted this." Me, Eliot thinks, never wanted me. "I forced you into this."
"Is that what's going on in that thick head of yours?" Nate's fingers curl around his, squeezing lightly. "Hey, look at me."
It takes him a minute, his heart pounding, to open his eyes and look at Nate. "Are you listening? Really listening?" Eliot nods slowly. "Good. The very first time I got close enough to you to smell you, after I was turned, I wanted you. I wanted to touch you, feel the life strumming through your veins, hear your heart beating in your chest, taste the salt of your skin…I wanted to feel your body close to mine. The only thing that kept me from it was the job…and the alcohol…and the thought that maybe you'd try to kill me if I tried anything."
Nate chuckles softly. "You were…everything I craved, Eliot."
"But you still didn't want…this." Eliot gestures between them as if he could somehow make Nate understand.
Nate bows his head and seems to search for the words. "I never wanted to put anyone I cared about in the position you are in. I never wanted someone to have to give up a part of their life to be with me, to exist as a constant blood donor. I never wanted to…have someone need me…" His voice cracks and breaks apart.
Long minutes stretch between them, then Nate clears his throat. "But, I made a choice, Eliot. You offered yourself to me and I chose to take what you were giving, I chose to give something back. I could have killed you that night, but I didn't. I could have sent you away and never given in to the craving again…but I didn't."
Eliot shifts uncomfortably, though his discomfort has more to do with Nate's words than his physical condition. "Nate…I don't need you to coddle me and placate me…I'm a big boy. I think we both know that this isn't working."
"Is that what we know?" Nate rises, crossing to the window and opening the blinds. "Here's what I know. You are a part of me now, and there is nothing that I wouldn't do, nowhere that I wouldn't go to keep you with me." He turns back to face Eliot, his face hidden in shadow. "But if you want me to go, I will. If you want it to be over, tell me now and I'll be gone before they release you."
"Nate, I-" But he doesn't really know what to say…because even though he can feel the sincerity in Nate's words, even if those words tell him he's wanted.
"How about I let you sleep…and we'll talk about this tomorrow." Nate says, stopping at the end of the bed. He doesn't look at Eliot, but Eliot would swear he was crying. "You have a lot of healing to do before you go home."
Nate can feel the tears burning in the corners of his eyes as he walks stoically through the hospital. He doesn't move to wipe them away, but he's shaking when he finally feels the night air on his face.
"You okay?"
She's the last thing he wants to deal with just now, but avoiding her hasn't really worked out in their favor either. "No, Sophie. I'm not."
"You want to talk?"
"No."
"You want a drink?"
"Fuck yes."
She hands him a flask and he pours some into his mouth, tasting a smooth, old bourbon. "Now that is nice." He tries to hand it back but she waves it back at him.
"Parker says Eliot is being a moron."
Nate nods a little. "I don't know. Maybe he's right. I mean…we've been together what…two months at the outside and he's nearly died twice. Three times if you count that first night. Not very good odds." He sips off the flask and considers what it would mean to leave.
"Do you love him?" Sophie asks, leaning against the lamppost, her eyes sweeping over Nate before meeting his eyes.
"I…what?" Nate shivers, drinks to avoid the question.
"It's simple enough. Do you love him…or is this just physical?"
"I don't see how that's any of your business." He's ready to walk away, shoving the flask back at her.
"What about me then? Was there ever a time when you loved me?"
"Sophie." He doesn't want to have this conversation…not here, not now…not when he's about to lose everything he's just fought to get back. "I…maybe." He sighs and scratches at the back of his head. "Okay? Maybe…back when I was…still human, when Maggie and I…" He shakes his head.
"See, Nate….here's the thing. If it's nothing but physical, between you and Eliot, then maybe you're right…walk away now and let him get back to his life." She stands, pushing off the lamppost and heads for the hospital doors. "But if you love him, you need to tell him before you both do something you'll regret for the rest of your life."
"I'm quite amazed at the progress you've made, considering you were close to dead when your friends brought you in."
Eliot shrugs and smiles at the doctor who was scribbling notes in his chart. "I've always healed fast. When can I get out of here?"
"Another day or two, I should think. We need to run a few tests, verify that you won't relapse. You'll need a few more days after that before you're ready to fly home."
"Not a problem." Eliot watches the doctor walk out, groaning when Sophie appears in the door. "I told Parker I don't need a babysitter."
"Not here to babysit, I came to talk."
Eliot exhales and pulls his hands through his hair. "I'm not interested in talking."
She closes the door. "So listen."
Only she doesn't really talk…not right away, she paces from the door to the window and back. She stops several times and looks like she wants to say something, but doesn't.
Finally she stops at the end of his bed. "Nate loves you."
That really isn't what he'd expected to hear and judging from the look on her face it isn't exactly what she'd meant to say. Eliot crosses his arms and they stare for a minute. "He say that?"
She rolls her eyes. "He's a man…well, he's male anyway. Of course he didn't say it." She goes back to her pacing. "But I'm a woman. I see these things."
"What things?" Eliot growls, irritated but unsure why.
"Oh, you know…the way he looks at you, the way he fought for you. You weren't there to see it, Eliot."
"No, I was busy getting tortured." He wants to get up and walk away, move.
"You should probably know something." She stops, at the window, doesn't look at him. "I…had sex with him."
Eliot's feeling very off balance with this whole conversation, his face screwed up in a frown. "Nate? You…when?"
She bites her lip and doesn't answer right away. "While you were…after you…" She sighs explosively. "He was…hurting. He was feeding and drinking, but….and I had had a few myself…and I wanted to know."
Eliot's eyes narrow, his stomach twisting around the image of Nate and Sophie. "Wanted to know what?"
"If you were right."
"Me? What? Right about what?"
She shakes her head. "I'm sorry…it was wrong and we both regret it…and he loves you Eliot. I'd stake my life on that."
His head reels as he tries to follow her.
"If anyone should leave, it should be me."
"Wait, Sophie…just slow down. Give me a minute to think."
"You're good for him…you're a good man. Honorable." She wipes at her face, sniffling a little. "I should go. You need your rest."
She's gone before he can say anything, and Eliot is left thinking about Nate and Sophie and how quickly everything can go very, very wrong.
He's restless. Now that he's out of bed and in clothes that don't leave his bare ass flapping in the breeze, and now that he's had a taste of real food he can't sit still, even while they finish the paperwork. Parker sits on the bed while Eliot moves from the chair to the window. He moves slowly, but at least he's moving.
"You're sure he'll be there?" Eliot asks for maybe the fifth time.
Parker rolls her eyes and doesn't answer.
Eliot hasn't seen anyone but Parker in the last two days. Sophie and Hardison had both gone home and Nate…well, he's pretty sure Nate's been avoiding him.
"Screw this. I'm done waiting." He gets as far as the door before a nurse with a wheelchair arrives.
"Nice timing." Parker declares, jumping off the bed.
Eliot would rather walk, but he knows better than to argue, so he settles into the chair and lets the nurse push him down to the lobby.
By the time they reach the hotel, Eliot is wondering what possessed him to get in a car with Parker behind the wheel. She grins at him as she parks and pulls a key card out of her back pocket. "Room 547."
Eliot takes the key, but frowns at her. "Aren't you coming in?"
"I have a plane to catch." She kisses the end of his nose. "Don't be a moron. I'll see you when you get home."
Eliot opens the door, still frowning at her as he climbs out. That left him alone with Nate, and despite the fact that he's been itching to see him, Eliot isn't sure he's ready for that. The window rolls down beside him. "Don't be a moron." Parker says again. "Get in there."
He exhales and turns to the hotel. It seems a long way to go…across the parking lot, through the lobby…but he gets to the elevator without incident. A short trip up and he's standing outside the door to the room, turning the key in his fingers. "This is stupid." He swipes the key and opens the door. He pauses just inside to let his eyes adjust to the dark. Nate is standing by the bed, drink in hand. Neither of them speak for a moment, then Eliot steps in and lets the door close. "Hey."
"Hey." Nate finishes his drink and sets the glass on the nightstand. "I was…worried."
"Paperwork." Eliot rolls his eyes. "Parker…she, uh, dropped me off."
Nate nods. "She give you the 'don't be a moron' speech?"
Eliot smirks. "Yeah."
"Yeah, me too."
"Is that what we've been doing?" Eliot asks. "Being morons?" He moves a little closer so he can see Nate's face without the shadow. "Is that why you come to the hospital, but don't come into the room unless I'm sleeping?"
Nate looks a little sheepish. "You knew?"
Eliot nods slowly. "I could feel you.”
Nate wipes his hand over his face. "I didn't want you to think I was…pushing."
"You were afraid I'd tell you to leave." Eliot corrects.
"That too." Nate admits. Eliot's close enough to tell he's nervous, shaking.
"And now?"
"I'm still afraid you're going to tell me to leave." Nate whispers as Eliot closes the last gap. His hand slides into Nate's hair, pulls him close. Eliot's lips brush over Nate's lightly, just barely more than air.
Up until right that moment, Eliot hasn't been sure exactly what he would say, or what he wants, but somehow, seeing Nate like this makes him a little more sure of himself. "Don't be a moron." Eliot whispers softly before kissing him a little more deeply.
"We should talk." Nate says when Eliot pulls back just a little.
"I'd rather keep kissing." Eliot counters, his hands sliding down Nate's back to his ass. "Or maybe…move on to other things that aren't talking."
He can feel Nate's grin against the skin of his neck. "You're barely walking."
"So be gentle." Eliot says. His heart thumps in his chest and he's a little lightheaded as all the blood in his body heads south and his cock hardens at just the suggestion.
Nate turns him so that Eliot's back is to the bed, guides him down. His hands slide up Eliot's thighs, to the zipper of his jeans. "You sure?" Nate asks lightly before he uzips. Eliot nods and Nate pulls the jeans down, tossing them away. He raises an eyebrow at the lack of underwear.
"Parker didn't bring any." Eliot says, holding up his hands to draw Nate down.
"Remind me to thank Parker later."
"Much later." Eliot murmurs as Nate lays against him, his cool hand sliding down Eliot's warm body to stroke his cock.
Nate's mouth finds his, his tongue sliding over Eliot's lips before delving inside while his hand moves over Eliot's cock. Eliot lets his eyes slip closed, lets himself moan as he moves closer to orgasm, but as it builds so does an unexpected anxiety, fear.
His body stiffens and Nate pulls back, his hand stilling. Eliot tries to fight through it, but images fill his mind, sense memory…the smell of come, the copper tang of blood on the air. His cock wilts and Eliot covers his face with his hands, curling inward, rolling toward Nate.
Nate's hands sooth over his back. "Shh…easy…it's okay."
Eliot breathes deeply. He straightens out slowly, getting back to his feet. "Fuck." The memories flash through him and he pulls away when Nate reaches for him. "I'm okay."
Nate's arms slide around him from behind, pulling him in close, his head on Eliot's shoulder. "No, you're not. But that's okay."
Eliot tries to pull away, but Nate is stronger and doesn't let him go. "No it isn't." He fights a little harder.
"Yes it is." Nate says it softly, though his arms tighten around him. "I'm not letting go."
He pulls one more time before sagging in Nate's arms.
"After everything you've been through you're allowed to not be okay." Nate says. "I don't expect anything from you."
"Well, I do." Eliot says the words, but the bite is gone from them.
"You expect too much from yourself then." Nate presses a kiss to Eliot's neck, right over the place where he'd first bitten Eliot. "Come lay down with me. We don't have to talk or touch…just be here…with me."
It's two in the afternoon, and they lay side by side in the bed, hidden behind the heavy drapes that make the room feel like it's two in the morning, but neither of them are sleeping.
They don't talk.
They don't have words to make this right, to take them back to the place where it started...or even to take them past this into a place where they're both okay.
Too much has happened to both of them. Too much has changed. Eliot's still hurting, still traumatized, the memory too fresh, the scars and marks still too visible against his skin.
The craving burns in his stomach…the weeks since he's last tasted Eliot sharp and clear in his mind. It's worse now, with Eliot here in his bed, so close and yet still so far from him. But it isn't just the hunger.
Nate wants more than Eliot's blood, more than just his body…he isn't ready to name it, isn't ready to say the words…but he needs Eliot to understand.
Nate turns on his side, his fingers trailing over Eliot's chest, his eyes on Eliot's face, watching for any sign that this is too much...then leans in to kiss over the faint scars around Eliot's nearer nipple...a mark Nate had left before...Eliot's breath hisses in, his eyes close, but he doesn't pull away.
Nate let's his lips linger, licks tiny kitten licks against the scar that no one but a vampire would know are there. He doesn't bite, because there's no way Eliot is ready for that...instead he's tender, letting Eliot know he still wants him, needs him...reclaiming him the only way he can for now.
Eliot's fingers thread through his hair and Nate lays his head on Eliot's chest. Slow. Small steps. A little at a time.
Nate is loading the bags into the rental car when Eliot emerges from the hotel. His face is hard set and Nate can feel that he's still angry. "Is there anything else?" Eliot asks as he stops beside Nate.
Nate swallows and shakes his head. "That's everything."
Eliot nods, hands on his hips. "How many?"
"Honestly? I don't know." He'd spent the day telling Eliot about the time he was gone, how Nate had coped, or didn't…about the people he'd killed, about Sophie and Genevieve…he'd talked until he'd gone a little hoarse.
"What about since…since you found me?"
Nate shakes his head. "No one…I…Genevieve set me up with a supply. It's been hard, but no one."
Eliot's eyes close and Nate can feel the anger bleed away, replaced by something darker. "Hey, no guilt." Nate pulls him into a hug. "I told you…I don't regret it."
"Not what I'm feeling guilty for." Eliot says into his chest, then pushes away.
"No?"
Eliot rolls his eyes. "Get in the car. We got a plane to catch."
At the airport, once they've made it through security and found their gate, Eliot grabs Nate's arm, drags him into the men's room and shoves him into a stall. "Eliot--"
He cuts Nate off with a quick kiss, then unzips his jeans, pulling out his cock.
"What--" Again Eliot stops him, this time with wagging eyebrows. He rolls up his sleeve and kisses Nate again. "Eliot?"
"Don't be a moron. Take it."
"You're not ready." Nate shakes his head, tries to pull away, but the small space has him trapped unless he wants to hurt Eliot.
"Let me be the judge of that. It has to be killing you. I know what withdrawal is like. Here."
Nate opens his mouth to argue, but Eliot pokes him in the stomach. "Okay…fine…but only a little."
"Will you just bite me already?"
Nate takes the offered wrist, licks the salt away, kisses the skin. Eliot huffs and Nate gives in, biting as gently as he can. Eliot's eyes flutter closed, a soft moan escaping him as he rocks back against the stall wall. The smell of come rises between them and Nate pulls back, pressing his thumb over the wound.
Eliot opens his eyes a minute later, the blue a little hazy, almost like he's stoned. "Better?" he asks breathless and Nate nods.
"Yeah."
"Good." Eliot leans in to kiss him before wiping himself clean and flushing the toilet. He tucks himself in and they open the door, Eliot grinning at the man staring at them in the mirror. "What can I say, I'm a kinky son-of-a-bitch."
The man almost runs from the room and Nate laughs. "Yes, you really are."
They wash their hands and head out of the bathroom, settling in to wait for boarding. Hardison's worked his magic, getting them first class seats for the long flight. Nate watches Eliot as they board.
The blood craving runs deep and his body wants more. His eyes skip over faces around them, some part of him categorizing them and working out ways to get them alone, but he always comes back to Eliot beside him.
The taste of him lingers in Nate's mouth, along his tongue. It's familiar and comforting somehow.
"You're staring." Eliot murmurs when most of the cabin is sleeping.
"Can't help it." Nate whispers back, his hand sliding over Eliot's, their fingers meshing together. "I like what I see."
Eliot flushes just a little, his head tipping back to rest on the seat. His eyes close slowly, his hand relaxing in Nate's.
Nate watches him slip into sleep, leaning in to brush a stray strand of hair off his forehead and kissing him lightly. "I think she may be right…I may love you." He sits back, settles in, his own eyes closing.
Beside him Eliot stirs. "Hmmm? You say something?"
Nate smiles, but doesn't open his eyes. "Sleep."
"Yeah." There's a long silence, then he hears Eliot barely whisper, "I may love you too."
Nate opens his eyes, but Eliot is asleep, his breathing deep and even. And maybe this is nothing like what he'd expected when he met Eliot Spencer…but as Nate pulls the window shade down on the rising sun outside his window, he closes the door on expectations. From here on out, everything would be new.
Title: Close the Door, Pull the Shades - Part Ten ( Story Index)
Pairing/Characters: Nate/Eliot, Nate/Sophie, Hardison, Parker
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 4248
Summary: Getting Eliot back doesn't solve all of their problems. Eliot and Nate struggle to come to terms with what has happened. Parker thinks they're both morons.
A/Ns & Warnings: This is, as is becoming usual, havenward's fault. Although it started with merry_gentry's first vampire!Nate prompt on comment_fic. thus, this is a vampire!Nate fic. As such, this will include biting and some blood play. This is the final chapter in this story, but I expect more to happen in this verse, so don't worry. In fact, one way to ensure there's more is to mosey over to comment_fic and prompt me, on days when such a prompt is appropriate.
Shiny, pretty artwork was sent to me today by raggedy_edge
Eliot wakes suddenly, a feeling like he wasn't alone pulling him through the confusion of drugs and injuries and nightmares that cling to him even as he opens his eyes.
The room is dark, but it clearly isn't the prison he last really remembers waking in. He feels heavy, but not tied down, not restrained in the classical sense. His eyes sweep the shadows.
Hospital. Tubes and wires stick out of him, run away to monitors and machines.
The shadows nearest the window move, turn. Even in the dark Eliot knows. "Nate." His throat is raw, his voice scrapes through it like a razor blade and the shadows shift until Nate separates from them, moving to the bed with a finger to his mouth.
"Shh…don't…not yet." He sits on a stool at Eliot's side, tears shimmering in his eyes. He smiles softly, a hand lifting to brush over Eliot's face. "You gave me quite a scare…but you're going to be okay."
Eliot swallows around the pain, blinks. "Marquez?" His voice give out before the word ends, but Nate nods.
"Gone. I took care of him."
Eliot thinks maybe he should be worried about that, maybe he should be concerned for Nate…or that despite everything they are together again, but he can't keep his eyes open and Nate is whispering words that Eliot can't seem to understand, and sleep seems so much more important than telling Nate he should go.
The next time he convinces his eyes to open, it's daylight and Parker is there as the nurse changes out his IV and withdraws. His throat isn't as sore, his body not as heavy. He blinks as Parker smiles at him.
"Hey."
Eliot shifts and looks around the bright room.
"We made him go get some sleep." She's sitting in the chair by the bed now, her feet under her. "We've been taking turns."
Eliot frowns a little and lifts a hand a lot less encumbered by machinery than before to rub an itchy nose. "You don't have to babysit." His voice is still rough, but it doesn't hurt so much to talk.
"Nothing better to do. Nate won't let us steal things…and none of us fly home for a few days." She crosses her arms and tries to look like she isn't concerned, but he can see it in her eyes.
"How long?"
"Five days. The first two we couldn't pry Nate out of here."
Eliot can feel himself frowning. Parker's face echoes the frown. "What?" she asks and he shakes his head.
"Nothing."
"That wasn't a nothing face. That was a something face."
"No…I'm just…sore."
"Bullshit." She stands beside the bed, staring down at him. "Spill."
Eliot closes his eyes and turns his head away. He wishes she would go away now, but before he can express the desire, her hand is on his chest, pressing against bandages, against a wound. "Ow!"
"He nearly died saving you."
"Exactly." Eliot spits the word, pushing her hand away from him. "You all nearly died because of me."
She looks genuinely confused. "What?"
"I don't really want to talk about it, Parker."
"How's our boy today?"
Eliot turns his face to the wall as Hardison comes into the room.
"He's a moron." Parker says, storming out of the room. "I don't get boys."
"I take it that means you're awake finally." Hardison says as Eliot hears him sit in the chair.
"Not for long." Eliot says softly, closing his eyes. The only problem with closing his eyes is that makes him remember. He longs for more of the good drugs, the dreamless sleep that comes with them. Instead he settles for ignoring Hardison and pretending…because at least that way he doesn't feel the need to talk.
Nate comes with the sunset, relieving Hardison. Eliot can hear them whisper at the door, but keeps his eyes closed, his breathing even. The door closes and Nate's presence moves closer.
"I know you're awake."
Eliot sighs and opens an eye. "Trying not to be."
"You know, Hardison is convinced you hate him."
"What?" Eliot turns, grimacing a little as pain registers. "Why?"
Nate pulls the chair closer. "There's a lot you don't know." He sits slowly. "Hardison was tortured. Bled, electric shock, beaten. He's carrying a lot of guilt."
"That's how Marquez found us." Eliot's stomach knots. "And I sat here and ignored him all day."
"I've worked hard to make him understand I don't blame him." Nate says it softly, but it still hurts.
"It isn't his fault." Eliot knows that deep in his gut.
"It isn't yours either." Nate responds, his hand coming to rest on Eliot's. He wants to pull it away, but can't quite bring himself to. "You hear me?"
"I hear you fine." Eliot says, though his voice is bitter. "But who else are we going to blame, Nate?"
"Why do we have to blame anyone?"
Eliot draws in a deep breath. "I know this isn't what you wanted."
"You lying in a hospital bed? No, I never did want that."
"You know what I mean. I heard you say it. You never wanted this." Me, Eliot thinks, never wanted me. "I forced you into this."
"Is that what's going on in that thick head of yours?" Nate's fingers curl around his, squeezing lightly. "Hey, look at me."
It takes him a minute, his heart pounding, to open his eyes and look at Nate. "Are you listening? Really listening?" Eliot nods slowly. "Good. The very first time I got close enough to you to smell you, after I was turned, I wanted you. I wanted to touch you, feel the life strumming through your veins, hear your heart beating in your chest, taste the salt of your skin…I wanted to feel your body close to mine. The only thing that kept me from it was the job…and the alcohol…and the thought that maybe you'd try to kill me if I tried anything."
Nate chuckles softly. "You were…everything I craved, Eliot."
"But you still didn't want…this." Eliot gestures between them as if he could somehow make Nate understand.
Nate bows his head and seems to search for the words. "I never wanted to put anyone I cared about in the position you are in. I never wanted someone to have to give up a part of their life to be with me, to exist as a constant blood donor. I never wanted to…have someone need me…" His voice cracks and breaks apart.
Long minutes stretch between them, then Nate clears his throat. "But, I made a choice, Eliot. You offered yourself to me and I chose to take what you were giving, I chose to give something back. I could have killed you that night, but I didn't. I could have sent you away and never given in to the craving again…but I didn't."
Eliot shifts uncomfortably, though his discomfort has more to do with Nate's words than his physical condition. "Nate…I don't need you to coddle me and placate me…I'm a big boy. I think we both know that this isn't working."
"Is that what we know?" Nate rises, crossing to the window and opening the blinds. "Here's what I know. You are a part of me now, and there is nothing that I wouldn't do, nowhere that I wouldn't go to keep you with me." He turns back to face Eliot, his face hidden in shadow. "But if you want me to go, I will. If you want it to be over, tell me now and I'll be gone before they release you."
"Nate, I-" But he doesn't really know what to say…because even though he can feel the sincerity in Nate's words, even if those words tell him he's wanted.
"How about I let you sleep…and we'll talk about this tomorrow." Nate says, stopping at the end of the bed. He doesn't look at Eliot, but Eliot would swear he was crying. "You have a lot of healing to do before you go home."
Nate can feel the tears burning in the corners of his eyes as he walks stoically through the hospital. He doesn't move to wipe them away, but he's shaking when he finally feels the night air on his face.
"You okay?"
She's the last thing he wants to deal with just now, but avoiding her hasn't really worked out in their favor either. "No, Sophie. I'm not."
"You want to talk?"
"No."
"You want a drink?"
"Fuck yes."
She hands him a flask and he pours some into his mouth, tasting a smooth, old bourbon. "Now that is nice." He tries to hand it back but she waves it back at him.
"Parker says Eliot is being a moron."
Nate nods a little. "I don't know. Maybe he's right. I mean…we've been together what…two months at the outside and he's nearly died twice. Three times if you count that first night. Not very good odds." He sips off the flask and considers what it would mean to leave.
"Do you love him?" Sophie asks, leaning against the lamppost, her eyes sweeping over Nate before meeting his eyes.
"I…what?" Nate shivers, drinks to avoid the question.
"It's simple enough. Do you love him…or is this just physical?"
"I don't see how that's any of your business." He's ready to walk away, shoving the flask back at her.
"What about me then? Was there ever a time when you loved me?"
"Sophie." He doesn't want to have this conversation…not here, not now…not when he's about to lose everything he's just fought to get back. "I…maybe." He sighs and scratches at the back of his head. "Okay? Maybe…back when I was…still human, when Maggie and I…" He shakes his head.
"See, Nate….here's the thing. If it's nothing but physical, between you and Eliot, then maybe you're right…walk away now and let him get back to his life." She stands, pushing off the lamppost and heads for the hospital doors. "But if you love him, you need to tell him before you both do something you'll regret for the rest of your life."
"I'm quite amazed at the progress you've made, considering you were close to dead when your friends brought you in."
Eliot shrugs and smiles at the doctor who was scribbling notes in his chart. "I've always healed fast. When can I get out of here?"
"Another day or two, I should think. We need to run a few tests, verify that you won't relapse. You'll need a few more days after that before you're ready to fly home."
"Not a problem." Eliot watches the doctor walk out, groaning when Sophie appears in the door. "I told Parker I don't need a babysitter."
"Not here to babysit, I came to talk."
Eliot exhales and pulls his hands through his hair. "I'm not interested in talking."
She closes the door. "So listen."
Only she doesn't really talk…not right away, she paces from the door to the window and back. She stops several times and looks like she wants to say something, but doesn't.
Finally she stops at the end of his bed. "Nate loves you."
That really isn't what he'd expected to hear and judging from the look on her face it isn't exactly what she'd meant to say. Eliot crosses his arms and they stare for a minute. "He say that?"
She rolls her eyes. "He's a man…well, he's male anyway. Of course he didn't say it." She goes back to her pacing. "But I'm a woman. I see these things."
"What things?" Eliot growls, irritated but unsure why.
"Oh, you know…the way he looks at you, the way he fought for you. You weren't there to see it, Eliot."
"No, I was busy getting tortured." He wants to get up and walk away, move.
"You should probably know something." She stops, at the window, doesn't look at him. "I…had sex with him."
Eliot's feeling very off balance with this whole conversation, his face screwed up in a frown. "Nate? You…when?"
She bites her lip and doesn't answer right away. "While you were…after you…" She sighs explosively. "He was…hurting. He was feeding and drinking, but….and I had had a few myself…and I wanted to know."
Eliot's eyes narrow, his stomach twisting around the image of Nate and Sophie. "Wanted to know what?"
"If you were right."
"Me? What? Right about what?"
She shakes her head. "I'm sorry…it was wrong and we both regret it…and he loves you Eliot. I'd stake my life on that."
His head reels as he tries to follow her.
"If anyone should leave, it should be me."
"Wait, Sophie…just slow down. Give me a minute to think."
"You're good for him…you're a good man. Honorable." She wipes at her face, sniffling a little. "I should go. You need your rest."
She's gone before he can say anything, and Eliot is left thinking about Nate and Sophie and how quickly everything can go very, very wrong.
He's restless. Now that he's out of bed and in clothes that don't leave his bare ass flapping in the breeze, and now that he's had a taste of real food he can't sit still, even while they finish the paperwork. Parker sits on the bed while Eliot moves from the chair to the window. He moves slowly, but at least he's moving.
"You're sure he'll be there?" Eliot asks for maybe the fifth time.
Parker rolls her eyes and doesn't answer.
Eliot hasn't seen anyone but Parker in the last two days. Sophie and Hardison had both gone home and Nate…well, he's pretty sure Nate's been avoiding him.
"Screw this. I'm done waiting." He gets as far as the door before a nurse with a wheelchair arrives.
"Nice timing." Parker declares, jumping off the bed.
Eliot would rather walk, but he knows better than to argue, so he settles into the chair and lets the nurse push him down to the lobby.
By the time they reach the hotel, Eliot is wondering what possessed him to get in a car with Parker behind the wheel. She grins at him as she parks and pulls a key card out of her back pocket. "Room 547."
Eliot takes the key, but frowns at her. "Aren't you coming in?"
"I have a plane to catch." She kisses the end of his nose. "Don't be a moron. I'll see you when you get home."
Eliot opens the door, still frowning at her as he climbs out. That left him alone with Nate, and despite the fact that he's been itching to see him, Eliot isn't sure he's ready for that. The window rolls down beside him. "Don't be a moron." Parker says again. "Get in there."
He exhales and turns to the hotel. It seems a long way to go…across the parking lot, through the lobby…but he gets to the elevator without incident. A short trip up and he's standing outside the door to the room, turning the key in his fingers. "This is stupid." He swipes the key and opens the door. He pauses just inside to let his eyes adjust to the dark. Nate is standing by the bed, drink in hand. Neither of them speak for a moment, then Eliot steps in and lets the door close. "Hey."
"Hey." Nate finishes his drink and sets the glass on the nightstand. "I was…worried."
"Paperwork." Eliot rolls his eyes. "Parker…she, uh, dropped me off."
Nate nods. "She give you the 'don't be a moron' speech?"
Eliot smirks. "Yeah."
"Yeah, me too."
"Is that what we've been doing?" Eliot asks. "Being morons?" He moves a little closer so he can see Nate's face without the shadow. "Is that why you come to the hospital, but don't come into the room unless I'm sleeping?"
Nate looks a little sheepish. "You knew?"
Eliot nods slowly. "I could feel you.”
Nate wipes his hand over his face. "I didn't want you to think I was…pushing."
"You were afraid I'd tell you to leave." Eliot corrects.
"That too." Nate admits. Eliot's close enough to tell he's nervous, shaking.
"And now?"
"I'm still afraid you're going to tell me to leave." Nate whispers as Eliot closes the last gap. His hand slides into Nate's hair, pulls him close. Eliot's lips brush over Nate's lightly, just barely more than air.
Up until right that moment, Eliot hasn't been sure exactly what he would say, or what he wants, but somehow, seeing Nate like this makes him a little more sure of himself. "Don't be a moron." Eliot whispers softly before kissing him a little more deeply.
"We should talk." Nate says when Eliot pulls back just a little.
"I'd rather keep kissing." Eliot counters, his hands sliding down Nate's back to his ass. "Or maybe…move on to other things that aren't talking."
He can feel Nate's grin against the skin of his neck. "You're barely walking."
"So be gentle." Eliot says. His heart thumps in his chest and he's a little lightheaded as all the blood in his body heads south and his cock hardens at just the suggestion.
Nate turns him so that Eliot's back is to the bed, guides him down. His hands slide up Eliot's thighs, to the zipper of his jeans. "You sure?" Nate asks lightly before he uzips. Eliot nods and Nate pulls the jeans down, tossing them away. He raises an eyebrow at the lack of underwear.
"Parker didn't bring any." Eliot says, holding up his hands to draw Nate down.
"Remind me to thank Parker later."
"Much later." Eliot murmurs as Nate lays against him, his cool hand sliding down Eliot's warm body to stroke his cock.
Nate's mouth finds his, his tongue sliding over Eliot's lips before delving inside while his hand moves over Eliot's cock. Eliot lets his eyes slip closed, lets himself moan as he moves closer to orgasm, but as it builds so does an unexpected anxiety, fear.
His body stiffens and Nate pulls back, his hand stilling. Eliot tries to fight through it, but images fill his mind, sense memory…the smell of come, the copper tang of blood on the air. His cock wilts and Eliot covers his face with his hands, curling inward, rolling toward Nate.
Nate's hands sooth over his back. "Shh…easy…it's okay."
Eliot breathes deeply. He straightens out slowly, getting back to his feet. "Fuck." The memories flash through him and he pulls away when Nate reaches for him. "I'm okay."
Nate's arms slide around him from behind, pulling him in close, his head on Eliot's shoulder. "No, you're not. But that's okay."
Eliot tries to pull away, but Nate is stronger and doesn't let him go. "No it isn't." He fights a little harder.
"Yes it is." Nate says it softly, though his arms tighten around him. "I'm not letting go."
He pulls one more time before sagging in Nate's arms.
"After everything you've been through you're allowed to not be okay." Nate says. "I don't expect anything from you."
"Well, I do." Eliot says the words, but the bite is gone from them.
"You expect too much from yourself then." Nate presses a kiss to Eliot's neck, right over the place where he'd first bitten Eliot. "Come lay down with me. We don't have to talk or touch…just be here…with me."
It's two in the afternoon, and they lay side by side in the bed, hidden behind the heavy drapes that make the room feel like it's two in the morning, but neither of them are sleeping.
They don't talk.
They don't have words to make this right, to take them back to the place where it started...or even to take them past this into a place where they're both okay.
Too much has happened to both of them. Too much has changed. Eliot's still hurting, still traumatized, the memory too fresh, the scars and marks still too visible against his skin.
The craving burns in his stomach…the weeks since he's last tasted Eliot sharp and clear in his mind. It's worse now, with Eliot here in his bed, so close and yet still so far from him. But it isn't just the hunger.
Nate wants more than Eliot's blood, more than just his body…he isn't ready to name it, isn't ready to say the words…but he needs Eliot to understand.
Nate turns on his side, his fingers trailing over Eliot's chest, his eyes on Eliot's face, watching for any sign that this is too much...then leans in to kiss over the faint scars around Eliot's nearer nipple...a mark Nate had left before...Eliot's breath hisses in, his eyes close, but he doesn't pull away.
Nate let's his lips linger, licks tiny kitten licks against the scar that no one but a vampire would know are there. He doesn't bite, because there's no way Eliot is ready for that...instead he's tender, letting Eliot know he still wants him, needs him...reclaiming him the only way he can for now.
Eliot's fingers thread through his hair and Nate lays his head on Eliot's chest. Slow. Small steps. A little at a time.
Nate is loading the bags into the rental car when Eliot emerges from the hotel. His face is hard set and Nate can feel that he's still angry. "Is there anything else?" Eliot asks as he stops beside Nate.
Nate swallows and shakes his head. "That's everything."
Eliot nods, hands on his hips. "How many?"
"Honestly? I don't know." He'd spent the day telling Eliot about the time he was gone, how Nate had coped, or didn't…about the people he'd killed, about Sophie and Genevieve…he'd talked until he'd gone a little hoarse.
"What about since…since you found me?"
Nate shakes his head. "No one…I…Genevieve set me up with a supply. It's been hard, but no one."
Eliot's eyes close and Nate can feel the anger bleed away, replaced by something darker. "Hey, no guilt." Nate pulls him into a hug. "I told you…I don't regret it."
"Not what I'm feeling guilty for." Eliot says into his chest, then pushes away.
"No?"
Eliot rolls his eyes. "Get in the car. We got a plane to catch."
At the airport, once they've made it through security and found their gate, Eliot grabs Nate's arm, drags him into the men's room and shoves him into a stall. "Eliot--"
He cuts Nate off with a quick kiss, then unzips his jeans, pulling out his cock.
"What--" Again Eliot stops him, this time with wagging eyebrows. He rolls up his sleeve and kisses Nate again. "Eliot?"
"Don't be a moron. Take it."
"You're not ready." Nate shakes his head, tries to pull away, but the small space has him trapped unless he wants to hurt Eliot.
"Let me be the judge of that. It has to be killing you. I know what withdrawal is like. Here."
Nate opens his mouth to argue, but Eliot pokes him in the stomach. "Okay…fine…but only a little."
"Will you just bite me already?"
Nate takes the offered wrist, licks the salt away, kisses the skin. Eliot huffs and Nate gives in, biting as gently as he can. Eliot's eyes flutter closed, a soft moan escaping him as he rocks back against the stall wall. The smell of come rises between them and Nate pulls back, pressing his thumb over the wound.
Eliot opens his eyes a minute later, the blue a little hazy, almost like he's stoned. "Better?" he asks breathless and Nate nods.
"Yeah."
"Good." Eliot leans in to kiss him before wiping himself clean and flushing the toilet. He tucks himself in and they open the door, Eliot grinning at the man staring at them in the mirror. "What can I say, I'm a kinky son-of-a-bitch."
The man almost runs from the room and Nate laughs. "Yes, you really are."
They wash their hands and head out of the bathroom, settling in to wait for boarding. Hardison's worked his magic, getting them first class seats for the long flight. Nate watches Eliot as they board.
The blood craving runs deep and his body wants more. His eyes skip over faces around them, some part of him categorizing them and working out ways to get them alone, but he always comes back to Eliot beside him.
The taste of him lingers in Nate's mouth, along his tongue. It's familiar and comforting somehow.
"You're staring." Eliot murmurs when most of the cabin is sleeping.
"Can't help it." Nate whispers back, his hand sliding over Eliot's, their fingers meshing together. "I like what I see."
Eliot flushes just a little, his head tipping back to rest on the seat. His eyes close slowly, his hand relaxing in Nate's.
Nate watches him slip into sleep, leaning in to brush a stray strand of hair off his forehead and kissing him lightly. "I think she may be right…I may love you." He sits back, settles in, his own eyes closing.
Beside him Eliot stirs. "Hmmm? You say something?"
Nate smiles, but doesn't open his eyes. "Sleep."
"Yeah." There's a long silence, then he hears Eliot barely whisper, "I may love you too."
Nate opens his eyes, but Eliot is asleep, his breathing deep and even. And maybe this is nothing like what he'd expected when he met Eliot Spencer…but as Nate pulls the window shade down on the rising sun outside his window, he closes the door on expectations. From here on out, everything would be new.