(no subject)
whats this? just another bottle of bacardi premixed drink, right? wrong!
cumcast was being ubergay today and kept disconnecting randomly. then as midnight struck my cable modem turned into a giant pumpkin and my connection was lost. all that remained was a glass slipper, and without a foot to fit it in i was left with no clue as to who the owner was.
meanwhile, rather than go to sleep or do work, i had an epiffany. and an orgasm. i think. i love coffee, i love liquor, thus by my powers of decuction i love coffee liqueur twice as much. alas, because everything i own turn into giant pumpkins at midnight, i have no means to shell out for bottles upon bottles of starbucks coffee liqueur. thus, i realised that i must make my own. armed with nothing but a big assed empty bottle and half a coffee filter, i began my perilous trek downstairs to the kitchen.
when i got there, i realised i had forgotten my bottle, so i ran back up to get it. upon returning, i discovered to my dismay that i had no alcohol. thus, another journey up the furry stairs and through a long, dark, hallway into my room where i tossed random shit around. then i remembered what i came up for and took the bottle of vodka off my shelf and went back to the kitchen.
with pots and pans laying askew i worked like a mad scientist, mixing my secret ingredients into the pot and stirred. i stood there for a good 5 minutes waiting for my concoction to boil; then i realised i forgot to turn the stove on. a few minutes passed as i twiddled my thumbs, and then suddenly, like a geyser bursting my precious stew bubbled up and spewed onto the stove top. steaming and solidifying on the ceramic like lava, slowly burning up residents of the village so foolishly built at the bottom of a volcano.
i searched the kitchen through and through for a funnel after cleaning up my mess and came to a glorious realization: asians dont have very well stocked kitchens. luckily for me i had found a whole package of coffee filters so i threw away the half filter i had. but i was stuck. no filter, no liqueur. bing cannot go without his liqueur. so i grew out a mullet and burst into macgyver mode, and ghetto rigged half a water bottle to my giant bacardi bottle and stuck a coffee filter in it. for the next half hour i painstakingly filled and filtered the entire contents fo the pot into the giant bottle. drip by drip, my destiny became clearer and clearer. drip...drip...drip... i am weak, and the chinese water torture broke me down. the dripping was driving my crazy, and my natural impatience forced me to seek out a pin and poke holes in the filter. that explains the bits of coffee grounds floating in the bottle. i think.
so after a final rinse with vodka, a lil creamer, and a lot of shaking, i present to you 1 liter of bing's coffee liqueur. after extensive taste testing, i must say it came out much better than expected. too bad i forgot to take a picture beforehand; it explains why it doesnt quite look like 1 liter in the bottle.
till next time, kids. drink safely!