(no subject)
I'm extremely confused. I'm finally at a point where I love it here in Palo Alto. The key was meeting some of the locals and getting a feel for who the characters are around here. Unfortunately I feel like I should leave more than ever.
There's just something about being in academia that goes against everything I stand for. I keep telling myself that it's a means to an end, but woman are not built for making short term sacrifices for long term gains. I don't want to throw away most likely what will be seven years of my life just to get some freaking certificate that says I know things. I want to actually be doing things RIGHT NOW. If I get my Masters I feel as though I will be qualified to do something rewarding. I really want to be involved in something where I can see the progress I'm making and see people's lives impacted.
I feel like I'm not actually gaining any real-world experience here and I don't know what to do about it. I keep telling myself that I can still do those sorts of things while I'm here, but ....I guess it's just a matter of actually dedicating myself to spending ridiculously large amounts of time and energy while I'm here. Maybe I just need to stop being lazy.
There's just something about being in academia that goes against everything I stand for. I keep telling myself that it's a means to an end, but woman are not built for making short term sacrifices for long term gains. I don't want to throw away most likely what will be seven years of my life just to get some freaking certificate that says I know things. I want to actually be doing things RIGHT NOW. If I get my Masters I feel as though I will be qualified to do something rewarding. I really want to be involved in something where I can see the progress I'm making and see people's lives impacted.
I feel like I'm not actually gaining any real-world experience here and I don't know what to do about it. I keep telling myself that I can still do those sorts of things while I'm here, but ....I guess it's just a matter of actually dedicating myself to spending ridiculously large amounts of time and energy while I'm here. Maybe I just need to stop being lazy.