It's almost May -- time for Star Wars!
It’s spring, when a young man’s (read: me) thoughts turn to Star Wars. I’m taking a break from exam prep, a little heart-attack break, and the best way I know to relax is to divert my mind with some Star Wars thoughts.
Back when I wrote up my annotations, I swore I wouldn’t get into fan fiction. But thinking about it now, I suppose I’m ready to move past that restriction. And so, having spent an unhealthy amount of time thinking about this stuff, I give you:
How I Would Have Done the Prequels Differently
To be clear, what follows is not a wholesale rewrite of the prequels. The Annotations already give a good indication of everything that should be cut or changed in some form; it doesn’t really bear repeating that characters like Jar Jar should be cut or radically re-imagined, or that midichlorians dilute the mysticism of the Force. The Annotations really attempt to illustrate Lucas’ sins of commission, the things he did that he should not have done. What follows is more of an account of his sins of omission. I want to flesh out particularly good ideas that he missed, that are buried under the surface of the films themselves but which could be drawn out and made the stuff of great drama. The prequels had potential, I think. They just needed a few more drafts.
Primarily I’m interested in how the films all fit together as a whole, and how they connect with the original trilogy, more than in what could be done to fix issues on a movie-by-movie basis. Partly, I think, because the latter category does involve simply re-writing a great deal, piecemeal, while I want to think more about the themes and overall plot, and how it could be stronger, with more emotional impact, and more cohesive.
As a consequence, there are some problems I won’t be attempting to fix. I’m granting that the basic story Lucas told could work, that the essential choices he made were correct, and that the basic framework he provided is sufficient. Relatively minor alterations of focus and character tweaks are enough to make the story Lucas actually told all the more effective, have a greater impact on the audience. Some of the problems which run deeper than this would require far more intrusive “rewrites” - Amidala, for example, remains a frustratingly scattershot character with precious little to do, and the first film still serves too many masters in being both about Palpatine’s machinations with the Trade Federation and Anakin and his fate. But just as I won’t be bothering to suggest changes for all the small, along-the-way problems (bits of bad dialogue, scene-by-scene suggestions), I also won’t suggest changes for fundamental problems. That comes too close to throwing most everything out and starting from scratch, and I am not interested in that. I’m talking about telling essentially the same story, but to greater effect.
So….
Anakin is a weak link in all the films; as I noted in the previous write-ups, it’s clear that Lucas has more interest in telling Palpatine’s story. In many ways, that’s a shame. Watching A New Hope in the light of the prequels, it clearly matches up with them more than either of the other two original movies. It has references to the Senate, to the Empire’s need to control the populace, to the role of the Jedi in the old Republic. The search for the rebel secret base parallels the search for Grievous (and, to a lesser extent, the hunt for Amidala’s would-be assassin in the second film). It even tells the same pair of stories. On the one hand, it concerns the fledgling Empire’s consolidation of power, as the hunt for the secret plans is directly tied to the Emperor’s strategy for maintaining control after the dissolution of the Senate. The scenes involving Imperial personnel hunting for the base and discussing the Death Star and the secret plans all belong to this story. On the other hand, it also tells the story of a young farm boy who wants “a life of significance,” adventure and excitement, an escape from his mundane life on Tatooine. These stories directly parallel the central story of the prequels. Why do they work so much better in A New Hope? Well, partly because the Empire story is backdrop, as stories involving complex political wrangling usually should be (at least in adventure stories; a deftly composed political documentary can make this thing central, but Lucas has neither the ability nor the interest in that). But it’s also because Luke’s story is tightly composed and identifiable, relatable. Anakin’s never is. So a large part of what follows is my attempt to accept what Lucas has done, but make Anakin’s story work more. Given the framework Lucas has already committed us to, what could be done to make Anakin’s story as compelling as Luke’s?
Episode I
Back when I first saw Episode III, I felt that there were perhaps too many reasons why Anakin fell to the Dark Side, as if Lucas couldn’t make up his mind, and didn’t really focus well enough. Anakin trusts Palpatine, who flatters and cajoles him. He feels guilty about his mother’s death. He never got over leaving his mother. He loves Amidala and must keep his love a secret. He’s jealous of Obi-Wan. He has political disagreements with the Jedi. He resents the Jedi. He has fascist sympathies.
But I now realize, I think, what Lucas was trying to do. Anakin does have a political disagreement with the Jedi, and this is exploited at a key point. His central anxiety is his fear of losing Amidala. That fear is accentuated by the loss of his mother. That loss is underscored by his sense that the Jedi “stole” her from him - or, more accurately, him from her - in separating the two. (Perhaps also by his sense that the Jedi are keeping him from Amidala, for that matter) And all of that underscores his political disagreements with the Jedi (whom, we’re told several times, have no interest in freeing slaves).
Really, then, the three films are designed to build off one another. Anakin’s relationship with his mother, his love for Amidala, the way the Jedi have treated him, each is meant to have a role to play in his eventual fate. It never really comes together as it should, though. And so here is what I’d recommend to streamline Anakin’s development:
In the first movie, Anakin’s relationship to his mother should be central. There’s no reason for Anakin and Amidala even to meet. Even if keeping them from ever appearing in the same scene would be awkward, there’s certainly no reason for them to have any meaningful interaction. Anakin’s age is an excellent reason to keep the romance plot from starting in this film. But more importantly, it takes away from the importance of his attachment to his mother. It distracts from his youth and innocence. It dilutes the second film to have him still harboring serious mommy issues while having begun his relationship with Amidala so early - just clean things up, have this one be about Anakin and his mother, and save all the Amidala stuff for the next one.
So here, Anakin is just a clever but lonely boy with ambitions, whose whole world is his mother. Watch The Sixth Sense for what I’m talking about. He doesn’t need to be as freaky as that kid, but the isolated “nation of two” thing should look something like that.
Then, have the Jedi worry that he won’t be able to handle being told his mother can’t be freed, so have him find out at the last minute that she can’t come. Maybe even as they’re taking off - tearful goodbye as the ship leaves. He’s got to be pulled back from her, they’re in tears, and so on. Much better use of time than all that bet-and-race garbage. Make it clear that in his still-developing mind, the Jedi have taken him away from her. Maybe even have him be less excited about going. All of this, in turn, provides a real reason for the Jedi not to want to train Anakin. As the movie stands, it doesn’t really amount to anything that they don’t. Their reluctance is somewhat perplexing, and in the end makes no real difference. In this version, it makes sense that the Jedi are reluctant - Anakin is resentful and distracted and not particularly enthused. He wants his mother, and that’s all. This way, not only do the Jedi not want to train him, he doesn’t even really want to be a Jedi! It’s a great way to keep suspense in a movie where we all know it’s going to happen - have Qui-Gon be all gung ho about it, but have both the council and the boy insist that it isn’t going to happen. So we’re left to wonder - what changed? How did it come to pass?
And maybe his mother is complicit - she knows he’ll have a better life as a Jedi, and she wants him to be free. But he’s too young to see it, and feels betrayed and angry. And that lingers when he is with Amidala - he is anxious that she, too, will leave him. The perfect anxiety to serve as a backdrop for his quick temper on Mustafar in the final film.
Finally, have his mother die in this movie, while he’s away. While he’s saving Naboo. Killing the mother here allows the movie to center on their relationship, makes this the “Anakin and his mom” movie, and provides a big emotional whallop in her death. Plus it provides a neat bond between Obi-Wan and Anakin, by killing the parent figures for each of them here. And as a smaller advantage, having her die in this movie explains why he goes on to be a Jedi given his lack of initial enthusiasm. After she dies, he has nothing - just like what caused Luke to accept his destiny as a Jedi. Maybe he’s been going through the motions and when he sees Amidala in the next movie, he finds a new purpose, and that explains his need for her. Maybe his recklessness and rage are things he wants to change - already a thread in the next film - and he hopes that Amidala can “save” him. In any case, having Anakin find out that his mother has died gives him a reason to finally accept his destiny as a Jedi. That turns out to be the turning point.
Handling the mother this way establishes just what we need for the relationship with Amidala. The Jedi are denying Anakin what he wants in two ways - first, in telling him that he must accept the death of a loved one, while Palpatine lets him know he need not; second, in maintaining a protocol that denies Anakin a relationship he finds essential. The importance of his becoming a Jedi requires that he leave his mother against her will. The importance of Jedi remaining chaste (or at least detached) requires that he have no relationship with Amidala. The seeds of resentment and alienation are all there. Lucas just doesn’t do nearly enough with them.
The remainder of the film’s flaws could be corrected piecemeal, I think. Changing the focus to Anakin’s relationship with his mother gives his character the setup it requires; changing the role Qui-Gon plays gives substance to the few lines which hint at his rogue status. While I don’t have more to say than I already have about what should be done about Jar Jar and the Japanese bankers, I would suggest one more change to fix the dragging center of the story. The race should be dropped. And, consequently, the bet. There should be an actual chase - maybe Anakin helps the Jedi escape from a confrontation with Maul. That gives Maul more to do, as well, which would only be a good thing. Maul finds them in the outskirts, and while he and Qui-Gon duel, Obi-Wan tries to escape with Anakin, only to find that Anakin is more than capable of taking care of himself, as he commandeers a vessel and races away, with Maul in hot pursuit. Now that’s how you make a chase sequence exciting. (For that matter, Anakin’s actions in the finale should not be a matter of luck and accident - he should deliberately steal a ship, convinced he’s a fine pilot, and should succeed intentionally.)
Episode II
Anakin’s relationship with Amidala doesn’t work. For some people, it ruins the movie - a shame, given how many cool things are in this one. But the relationship needs radical repairs. It’s got two real flaws. First, Lucas has begun the relationship clumsily, with a too-young Anakin flirting awkwardly with a clearly uncomfortable Natalie Portman. We already kinda don’t buy this, if we’re not actively creeped out. My change to the first film has corrected that already. The relationship now begins in this movie, with the additional bonus of giving each movie more thematic focus. The first movie was just about Anakin and his mother, and this one is just about Anakin and Amidala (particularly if the mother has died in the first film) Second, Lucas starts the movie with Anakin in love with Amidala, and Amidala indifferent to Anakin. Both Anakin’s initial love for Amidala and Amidala’s eventual change of heart go largely unexplained - they are there for reasons of plot, and not only do we fail to feel them, we aren’t really given any kind of explanation for them. Yes, the dialogue in this subplot is wooden; yes, the characters have no chemistry together; yes, the relationship unfolds in fits and starts. But changing how these two got together in the first place could go a long way towards fixing the whole.
There’s a classic Simpsons exchange: “First they hate each other, now they love each other. It doesn’t make any sense to me.” “Of course not. You’re a robot.” In this movie Anakin and Amidala are really meeting for the first time. Have Palpatine assign Anakin to protect Amidala from the assassination attempts, and have Anakin resent it. He wants adventure and fighting nasty baddies, and protecting this rich politician doesn’t seem his style. It’s a security detail, dull as dishwater. Maybe he doesn’t even believe there’s a threat. His resentment of the assignment, his distaste for rich, pampered politicians, it all works. She, meanwhile, doesn’t want to be hidden away. She’s a crunchy do-gooder who wants to help people regardless of the danger to her life. She resents the Jedi, maybe, for being so disengaged from politics, for keeping her away from Coruscant. So they just can’t stand each other at first. And then, as they spend time together, they start to connect. Would this look a little too much like the relationship between Han and Leia in Empire? Probably. But, first, Lucas has never minded repeating himself in these movies, and second, hey, it worked in that movie. Also, given Lucas’ strength with images (see, for example, the sequence between Anakin and Amidala before he interrupts Palpatine’s arrest, or the hunt for the sandpeople montage, or the climactic assembly of the clone army at the end of Episode II), more of the relationship should unfold visually, with sidelong glances and so on, rather than in dialogue, which it’s simply unrealistic to suspect could ever have worked in Lucas’ hands. Fixing this relationship would be huge, and like I said I’m not going to micromanage and restart the thing from scratch. The biggest problem is that, while we can buy Amidala’s initial disinterest in Anakin, we never really buy either his affection or her change of heart. But accentuating the conflict between them at the start could add some sexual tension, which would hopefully set up the eventual entanglement. And that tends to work in stories like this, tends to make the relationship more interesting, more believable.
Another tweak to the relationship: set the political chats they have aside, disagreements and all. They really bog things down, and while I like the concept of giving us indications that Anakin harbors fascist sympathies, these exchanges are heavy handed and superfluous. His disagreements with the Jedi and conversations with Palpatine give us all we need to know about his wariness of democracy. If he must have more to say, have it be to them, not Amidala. Instead, give them a reason to bond in its place: a shared love of adventure. Now there is no reason to visit Tatooine, since his mother has already died. So have another assassination attempt, on Naboo. The assassination attempt on Naboo can prompt Anakin’s mini-genocide previously set in the sand people camp. That works thematically, as well, since the close attachment to his mother has now been confined exclusively to the first film, about a young boy, while his close attachment in this movie now centers on Amidala. She was almost blown up at the start, almost poisoned a little later - the third incident would make sense as a catalyst for some serious rage. We could still have his remorse, and maybe he could even see the attempt to rescue Obi-Wan as an opportunity for redemption. More importantly, all of this would do more to bring Anakin and Amidala together (which, presumably, is why Palpatine has engineered the assassination attempt).
I realize that this version cuts out a visit to the Lars family, but that may be unavoidable. Tatooine is so dull, so unnecessary to the story… maybe either have them introduced in the prior film or just accept that they are relegated to cameos at the end of the third.
Ultimately this love affair may be one of those “fix from scratch” things. Dialogue, scenes, acting, all meaningfully contribute to the failure of this story.. This could be unfixable without casting changes and some script doctoring by someone like Emma Thompson. But I think making the movie more centrally focused on their relationship, getting the sidetrack with his mother out of the way, getting things started with a certain amount of heated resentment on both sides, then have some thrilling brushes with danger and Anakin rushing to save Amidala (though he goes too far…). I think that would all help.
The other central flaw in this film concerns the clone army. The Jedi should never be so outrageously stupid as to work in dangerous environments with legions of heavily armed clones ordered by some mysterious agent they don’t identify. Further, nobody in the Republic minds that when Palpatine elects to raise an army, he mysteriously has one at the ready. Far too many coincidences abound here, like the prime minister of Kamino free and ready to meet with Obi-Wan when he arrives, and the army being ready right on schedule.
No, the clones should be there from the start as the army Palpatine wants. The mystery angle was fun, but it would remain with the assassination attempts. It should work like this: many systems are threatening to leave the Republic, led by the charismatic Dooku, who has pledged his interest in peace. These systems have an army, provided by the Trade Federation and Techno Union, because they fear Jedi reprisal for their attempts to leave the Republic. Palpatine wants an army to counter them, because their army and their secession represents a threat.
Meanwhile, everyone believes the assassination attempts against Amidala are Gunray’s work. But Kenobi discovers, after long investigation, that Dooku is behind it. He believes a Sith lord has secretly acquired control of the Senate, and will use violence to ensure that he and his systems can escape the political control of the Republic, now corrupted by Sith influence. Dooku presents himself, then, as the first Rebel! Kenobi, not believing him, tells the Jedi via hologram that they should support the army. The vote passes. The war begins - in time to rescue our heroes from the Geonosian arena.
In this version, Dooku is a perverse, ironic precursor to the rebel heroes, he is the one who starts a rebellion against a Sith ruled Republic. But he’s also a pawn - albeit a self-aware one - in Palpatine’s schemes. He enables the clone army to exist, and also gives the Separatist army something it needs - a reason to be fighting. In fact, the complexity of the Clone Wars could really be felt now: first, because we know the Separatists see the Republic as a Sith threat and fight for freedom; second, because we know that the Separatists are willing to use horrible means to fight their war. They are essentially terrorists. This makes them dangerous, and all of this gives battle scenes with them more of an edge. Granted this is more what we’d see in the next film, once Dooku has been outed as the one who wants Amidala adead.
One question remains for this change. Why is Dooku targeting Amidala? Well, she’s always been close to Palpatine. He believes that she is one of the senators under the thumb of the Sith - or so he says. Really, it’s all a scheme to deceive Kenobi into convincing the Jedi to support, and eventually work closely with, the Army of the Republic. (And, as seen above, it helps drive her into Anakin’s arms - though this may be more Palpatine’s scheme than Dooku’s)
All of this stuff about Dooku and the Sith, additionally, gives Kenobi another reason to remain in exile. He’s played a key role in the ascension of Palpatine and the creation of the first Army of the Republic. He votes for the Army Creation Act because he fears that the Separatists are violent terrorists who do represent a threat to the Republic. His guilt as well as his concern for Luke place him on Tatooine.
One final change for this movie. Anakin’s relationship with his mother in the first film planted the seeds for his need for Amidala in this one, as well as the seeds of his resentment of the Jedi. This movie needs to similarly set up the next one. Anakin’s Jedi prowess should include at least one or two moments of precognition. One great way to go here would be to have him be the lone Jedi who suspects Dooku. That makes him more powerful than the other Jedi, more clear-seeing, and also gives him more reason to resent them, as they do not believe him, and patronizingly dismiss his contribution. Give him something else to anticipate, as well - perhaps where to find some element of the plot against Amidala, like how to find where Obi-Wan is being held captive. We need to trust his visions of the future - and come to appreciate how much he trusts them, and how he comes to rely on them.
Episode III
Well, I’ve always felt this film worked better than the others. It’s endgame time - everything Palpatine has needed is in place. He has complete control of the Senate (and presumably the Court), his army is assembled and ready to take out the Jedi. Anakin is ready to fall. I wouldn’t really change anything Palpatine does in Sith.
There is one big, and easy, change to be made here. Amidala should be dying. It’s absurd that, having provided a legitimate reason for her death through Anakin’s Force choke, Lucas decides to have her die of a broken heart. She should die because of the physical trauma, not emotional.
But more importantly, she should be dying throughout the movie. Sure, Anakin is a Jedi and can see the future. We can trust his visions, and we know he has reason to trust them. And, sure, we’ve planted those seeds. But I think the audience can relate more, and the scenario has more urgency, if Amidala is actually dying. She shouldn’t be just perfectly healthy in the face of Anakin’s visions, that lessens their impact and the urgency of his choices. Also, if she’s dying the whole time, his fear is not only of losing Amidala, but the child as well. He shouldn’t be seeing her die in childbirth, but just dying from whatever it is she has. In this version of the movie, he doesn’t merely wish to stop a vision from coming true - he wants to stop something from unfolding. And the vision is telling him, not that it might happen, but that his attempts to stop it will fail. It shifts the focus of the visions, and no longer relies on them entirely to make us fear for Amidala’s life.
Then, of course, when she dies, it should be ambiguous whether it is from whatever disease she’s had or from Anakin’s Force choke. And Anakin, as I said in my original Annotations, should be told despite this ambiguity that he has killed her just as his mask is lowered onto his head - his scream of “no” cut short by the mechanical breathing which indicates the last spark of humanity has been extinguished in the once promising Jedi.
One other change involves something that isn’t really wrong with the movie, but which ties it to the original trilogy, particularly A New Hope in a fun way. As the movie stands, Palpatine instructs Vader to go to Mustafar to kill the Separatist leaders. Vader doesn’t ask how Palpatine knows their location, which is unusual, but not entirely incapable of explanation. Vader’s confused at this point, he wants to believe Palpatine so badly that he doesn’t allow himself any doubt, and so on. But I think that minor gap could be plugged, and in a way that provides yet another link to the next trilogy.
Palpatine should tell Vader that, through interrogation of Separatist prisoners, he’s discovered the location of their hidden base. He might even start using the term “rebels” instead of “Separatists.” This explains how Palpatine knows where to find Gunray and the others, it gives a picture of Vader’s first hunt for a hidden rebel base, it communicates to us how important Vader finds it to uncover secret rebel bases for the sake of ending destructive conflicts. Further, if Palpatine starts saying “rebel,” it furthers the cool factor of having the Empire show up, and Imperial uniforms, and the Death Star - if we also see, for the first time, references to the “rebellion.” It would certainly be in Palpatine’s interests to treat those who object to the formation of the Empire as contiguous with the Separatists, especially if the former movie has established the Separatists as terrorists with no public sympathy.
And that’s it. Yes, these changes leave a lot of poor dialogue and awkward subplots alone. Yes, I suppose it would be possible to make even more radical changes to the prequel storyline. But I think that this is a solid way to tighten up Anakin’s character. It gives his fall to the Dark Side the right proportion of poignancy and inevitability, it makes his relationship with Amidala more relatable, it makes the overall story cohere more. What all of this is trying to do is to take the basic story and structure Lucas has provided, and streamline it to give us a better sense of Anakin, a closer emotional involvement with his plight, and a more plausible context for his turn to the Dark Side. It’s surprising to me how readily the basic elements Lucas has in play could be reorganized to greater effect. The movies would still suffer from flaws (as, let’s face it, the original trilogy does) - but they would be far, far better movies. I think.
Back when I wrote up my annotations, I swore I wouldn’t get into fan fiction. But thinking about it now, I suppose I’m ready to move past that restriction. And so, having spent an unhealthy amount of time thinking about this stuff, I give you:
How I Would Have Done the Prequels Differently
To be clear, what follows is not a wholesale rewrite of the prequels. The Annotations already give a good indication of everything that should be cut or changed in some form; it doesn’t really bear repeating that characters like Jar Jar should be cut or radically re-imagined, or that midichlorians dilute the mysticism of the Force. The Annotations really attempt to illustrate Lucas’ sins of commission, the things he did that he should not have done. What follows is more of an account of his sins of omission. I want to flesh out particularly good ideas that he missed, that are buried under the surface of the films themselves but which could be drawn out and made the stuff of great drama. The prequels had potential, I think. They just needed a few more drafts.
Primarily I’m interested in how the films all fit together as a whole, and how they connect with the original trilogy, more than in what could be done to fix issues on a movie-by-movie basis. Partly, I think, because the latter category does involve simply re-writing a great deal, piecemeal, while I want to think more about the themes and overall plot, and how it could be stronger, with more emotional impact, and more cohesive.
As a consequence, there are some problems I won’t be attempting to fix. I’m granting that the basic story Lucas told could work, that the essential choices he made were correct, and that the basic framework he provided is sufficient. Relatively minor alterations of focus and character tweaks are enough to make the story Lucas actually told all the more effective, have a greater impact on the audience. Some of the problems which run deeper than this would require far more intrusive “rewrites” - Amidala, for example, remains a frustratingly scattershot character with precious little to do, and the first film still serves too many masters in being both about Palpatine’s machinations with the Trade Federation and Anakin and his fate. But just as I won’t be bothering to suggest changes for all the small, along-the-way problems (bits of bad dialogue, scene-by-scene suggestions), I also won’t suggest changes for fundamental problems. That comes too close to throwing most everything out and starting from scratch, and I am not interested in that. I’m talking about telling essentially the same story, but to greater effect.
So….
Anakin is a weak link in all the films; as I noted in the previous write-ups, it’s clear that Lucas has more interest in telling Palpatine’s story. In many ways, that’s a shame. Watching A New Hope in the light of the prequels, it clearly matches up with them more than either of the other two original movies. It has references to the Senate, to the Empire’s need to control the populace, to the role of the Jedi in the old Republic. The search for the rebel secret base parallels the search for Grievous (and, to a lesser extent, the hunt for Amidala’s would-be assassin in the second film). It even tells the same pair of stories. On the one hand, it concerns the fledgling Empire’s consolidation of power, as the hunt for the secret plans is directly tied to the Emperor’s strategy for maintaining control after the dissolution of the Senate. The scenes involving Imperial personnel hunting for the base and discussing the Death Star and the secret plans all belong to this story. On the other hand, it also tells the story of a young farm boy who wants “a life of significance,” adventure and excitement, an escape from his mundane life on Tatooine. These stories directly parallel the central story of the prequels. Why do they work so much better in A New Hope? Well, partly because the Empire story is backdrop, as stories involving complex political wrangling usually should be (at least in adventure stories; a deftly composed political documentary can make this thing central, but Lucas has neither the ability nor the interest in that). But it’s also because Luke’s story is tightly composed and identifiable, relatable. Anakin’s never is. So a large part of what follows is my attempt to accept what Lucas has done, but make Anakin’s story work more. Given the framework Lucas has already committed us to, what could be done to make Anakin’s story as compelling as Luke’s?
Episode I
Back when I first saw Episode III, I felt that there were perhaps too many reasons why Anakin fell to the Dark Side, as if Lucas couldn’t make up his mind, and didn’t really focus well enough. Anakin trusts Palpatine, who flatters and cajoles him. He feels guilty about his mother’s death. He never got over leaving his mother. He loves Amidala and must keep his love a secret. He’s jealous of Obi-Wan. He has political disagreements with the Jedi. He resents the Jedi. He has fascist sympathies.
But I now realize, I think, what Lucas was trying to do. Anakin does have a political disagreement with the Jedi, and this is exploited at a key point. His central anxiety is his fear of losing Amidala. That fear is accentuated by the loss of his mother. That loss is underscored by his sense that the Jedi “stole” her from him - or, more accurately, him from her - in separating the two. (Perhaps also by his sense that the Jedi are keeping him from Amidala, for that matter) And all of that underscores his political disagreements with the Jedi (whom, we’re told several times, have no interest in freeing slaves).
Really, then, the three films are designed to build off one another. Anakin’s relationship with his mother, his love for Amidala, the way the Jedi have treated him, each is meant to have a role to play in his eventual fate. It never really comes together as it should, though. And so here is what I’d recommend to streamline Anakin’s development:
In the first movie, Anakin’s relationship to his mother should be central. There’s no reason for Anakin and Amidala even to meet. Even if keeping them from ever appearing in the same scene would be awkward, there’s certainly no reason for them to have any meaningful interaction. Anakin’s age is an excellent reason to keep the romance plot from starting in this film. But more importantly, it takes away from the importance of his attachment to his mother. It distracts from his youth and innocence. It dilutes the second film to have him still harboring serious mommy issues while having begun his relationship with Amidala so early - just clean things up, have this one be about Anakin and his mother, and save all the Amidala stuff for the next one.
So here, Anakin is just a clever but lonely boy with ambitions, whose whole world is his mother. Watch The Sixth Sense for what I’m talking about. He doesn’t need to be as freaky as that kid, but the isolated “nation of two” thing should look something like that.
Then, have the Jedi worry that he won’t be able to handle being told his mother can’t be freed, so have him find out at the last minute that she can’t come. Maybe even as they’re taking off - tearful goodbye as the ship leaves. He’s got to be pulled back from her, they’re in tears, and so on. Much better use of time than all that bet-and-race garbage. Make it clear that in his still-developing mind, the Jedi have taken him away from her. Maybe even have him be less excited about going. All of this, in turn, provides a real reason for the Jedi not to want to train Anakin. As the movie stands, it doesn’t really amount to anything that they don’t. Their reluctance is somewhat perplexing, and in the end makes no real difference. In this version, it makes sense that the Jedi are reluctant - Anakin is resentful and distracted and not particularly enthused. He wants his mother, and that’s all. This way, not only do the Jedi not want to train him, he doesn’t even really want to be a Jedi! It’s a great way to keep suspense in a movie where we all know it’s going to happen - have Qui-Gon be all gung ho about it, but have both the council and the boy insist that it isn’t going to happen. So we’re left to wonder - what changed? How did it come to pass?
And maybe his mother is complicit - she knows he’ll have a better life as a Jedi, and she wants him to be free. But he’s too young to see it, and feels betrayed and angry. And that lingers when he is with Amidala - he is anxious that she, too, will leave him. The perfect anxiety to serve as a backdrop for his quick temper on Mustafar in the final film.
Finally, have his mother die in this movie, while he’s away. While he’s saving Naboo. Killing the mother here allows the movie to center on their relationship, makes this the “Anakin and his mom” movie, and provides a big emotional whallop in her death. Plus it provides a neat bond between Obi-Wan and Anakin, by killing the parent figures for each of them here. And as a smaller advantage, having her die in this movie explains why he goes on to be a Jedi given his lack of initial enthusiasm. After she dies, he has nothing - just like what caused Luke to accept his destiny as a Jedi. Maybe he’s been going through the motions and when he sees Amidala in the next movie, he finds a new purpose, and that explains his need for her. Maybe his recklessness and rage are things he wants to change - already a thread in the next film - and he hopes that Amidala can “save” him. In any case, having Anakin find out that his mother has died gives him a reason to finally accept his destiny as a Jedi. That turns out to be the turning point.
Handling the mother this way establishes just what we need for the relationship with Amidala. The Jedi are denying Anakin what he wants in two ways - first, in telling him that he must accept the death of a loved one, while Palpatine lets him know he need not; second, in maintaining a protocol that denies Anakin a relationship he finds essential. The importance of his becoming a Jedi requires that he leave his mother against her will. The importance of Jedi remaining chaste (or at least detached) requires that he have no relationship with Amidala. The seeds of resentment and alienation are all there. Lucas just doesn’t do nearly enough with them.
The remainder of the film’s flaws could be corrected piecemeal, I think. Changing the focus to Anakin’s relationship with his mother gives his character the setup it requires; changing the role Qui-Gon plays gives substance to the few lines which hint at his rogue status. While I don’t have more to say than I already have about what should be done about Jar Jar and the Japanese bankers, I would suggest one more change to fix the dragging center of the story. The race should be dropped. And, consequently, the bet. There should be an actual chase - maybe Anakin helps the Jedi escape from a confrontation with Maul. That gives Maul more to do, as well, which would only be a good thing. Maul finds them in the outskirts, and while he and Qui-Gon duel, Obi-Wan tries to escape with Anakin, only to find that Anakin is more than capable of taking care of himself, as he commandeers a vessel and races away, with Maul in hot pursuit. Now that’s how you make a chase sequence exciting. (For that matter, Anakin’s actions in the finale should not be a matter of luck and accident - he should deliberately steal a ship, convinced he’s a fine pilot, and should succeed intentionally.)
Episode II
Anakin’s relationship with Amidala doesn’t work. For some people, it ruins the movie - a shame, given how many cool things are in this one. But the relationship needs radical repairs. It’s got two real flaws. First, Lucas has begun the relationship clumsily, with a too-young Anakin flirting awkwardly with a clearly uncomfortable Natalie Portman. We already kinda don’t buy this, if we’re not actively creeped out. My change to the first film has corrected that already. The relationship now begins in this movie, with the additional bonus of giving each movie more thematic focus. The first movie was just about Anakin and his mother, and this one is just about Anakin and Amidala (particularly if the mother has died in the first film) Second, Lucas starts the movie with Anakin in love with Amidala, and Amidala indifferent to Anakin. Both Anakin’s initial love for Amidala and Amidala’s eventual change of heart go largely unexplained - they are there for reasons of plot, and not only do we fail to feel them, we aren’t really given any kind of explanation for them. Yes, the dialogue in this subplot is wooden; yes, the characters have no chemistry together; yes, the relationship unfolds in fits and starts. But changing how these two got together in the first place could go a long way towards fixing the whole.
There’s a classic Simpsons exchange: “First they hate each other, now they love each other. It doesn’t make any sense to me.” “Of course not. You’re a robot.” In this movie Anakin and Amidala are really meeting for the first time. Have Palpatine assign Anakin to protect Amidala from the assassination attempts, and have Anakin resent it. He wants adventure and fighting nasty baddies, and protecting this rich politician doesn’t seem his style. It’s a security detail, dull as dishwater. Maybe he doesn’t even believe there’s a threat. His resentment of the assignment, his distaste for rich, pampered politicians, it all works. She, meanwhile, doesn’t want to be hidden away. She’s a crunchy do-gooder who wants to help people regardless of the danger to her life. She resents the Jedi, maybe, for being so disengaged from politics, for keeping her away from Coruscant. So they just can’t stand each other at first. And then, as they spend time together, they start to connect. Would this look a little too much like the relationship between Han and Leia in Empire? Probably. But, first, Lucas has never minded repeating himself in these movies, and second, hey, it worked in that movie. Also, given Lucas’ strength with images (see, for example, the sequence between Anakin and Amidala before he interrupts Palpatine’s arrest, or the hunt for the sandpeople montage, or the climactic assembly of the clone army at the end of Episode II), more of the relationship should unfold visually, with sidelong glances and so on, rather than in dialogue, which it’s simply unrealistic to suspect could ever have worked in Lucas’ hands. Fixing this relationship would be huge, and like I said I’m not going to micromanage and restart the thing from scratch. The biggest problem is that, while we can buy Amidala’s initial disinterest in Anakin, we never really buy either his affection or her change of heart. But accentuating the conflict between them at the start could add some sexual tension, which would hopefully set up the eventual entanglement. And that tends to work in stories like this, tends to make the relationship more interesting, more believable.
Another tweak to the relationship: set the political chats they have aside, disagreements and all. They really bog things down, and while I like the concept of giving us indications that Anakin harbors fascist sympathies, these exchanges are heavy handed and superfluous. His disagreements with the Jedi and conversations with Palpatine give us all we need to know about his wariness of democracy. If he must have more to say, have it be to them, not Amidala. Instead, give them a reason to bond in its place: a shared love of adventure. Now there is no reason to visit Tatooine, since his mother has already died. So have another assassination attempt, on Naboo. The assassination attempt on Naboo can prompt Anakin’s mini-genocide previously set in the sand people camp. That works thematically, as well, since the close attachment to his mother has now been confined exclusively to the first film, about a young boy, while his close attachment in this movie now centers on Amidala. She was almost blown up at the start, almost poisoned a little later - the third incident would make sense as a catalyst for some serious rage. We could still have his remorse, and maybe he could even see the attempt to rescue Obi-Wan as an opportunity for redemption. More importantly, all of this would do more to bring Anakin and Amidala together (which, presumably, is why Palpatine has engineered the assassination attempt).
I realize that this version cuts out a visit to the Lars family, but that may be unavoidable. Tatooine is so dull, so unnecessary to the story… maybe either have them introduced in the prior film or just accept that they are relegated to cameos at the end of the third.
Ultimately this love affair may be one of those “fix from scratch” things. Dialogue, scenes, acting, all meaningfully contribute to the failure of this story.. This could be unfixable without casting changes and some script doctoring by someone like Emma Thompson. But I think making the movie more centrally focused on their relationship, getting the sidetrack with his mother out of the way, getting things started with a certain amount of heated resentment on both sides, then have some thrilling brushes with danger and Anakin rushing to save Amidala (though he goes too far…). I think that would all help.
The other central flaw in this film concerns the clone army. The Jedi should never be so outrageously stupid as to work in dangerous environments with legions of heavily armed clones ordered by some mysterious agent they don’t identify. Further, nobody in the Republic minds that when Palpatine elects to raise an army, he mysteriously has one at the ready. Far too many coincidences abound here, like the prime minister of Kamino free and ready to meet with Obi-Wan when he arrives, and the army being ready right on schedule.
No, the clones should be there from the start as the army Palpatine wants. The mystery angle was fun, but it would remain with the assassination attempts. It should work like this: many systems are threatening to leave the Republic, led by the charismatic Dooku, who has pledged his interest in peace. These systems have an army, provided by the Trade Federation and Techno Union, because they fear Jedi reprisal for their attempts to leave the Republic. Palpatine wants an army to counter them, because their army and their secession represents a threat.
Meanwhile, everyone believes the assassination attempts against Amidala are Gunray’s work. But Kenobi discovers, after long investigation, that Dooku is behind it. He believes a Sith lord has secretly acquired control of the Senate, and will use violence to ensure that he and his systems can escape the political control of the Republic, now corrupted by Sith influence. Dooku presents himself, then, as the first Rebel! Kenobi, not believing him, tells the Jedi via hologram that they should support the army. The vote passes. The war begins - in time to rescue our heroes from the Geonosian arena.
In this version, Dooku is a perverse, ironic precursor to the rebel heroes, he is the one who starts a rebellion against a Sith ruled Republic. But he’s also a pawn - albeit a self-aware one - in Palpatine’s schemes. He enables the clone army to exist, and also gives the Separatist army something it needs - a reason to be fighting. In fact, the complexity of the Clone Wars could really be felt now: first, because we know the Separatists see the Republic as a Sith threat and fight for freedom; second, because we know that the Separatists are willing to use horrible means to fight their war. They are essentially terrorists. This makes them dangerous, and all of this gives battle scenes with them more of an edge. Granted this is more what we’d see in the next film, once Dooku has been outed as the one who wants Amidala adead.
One question remains for this change. Why is Dooku targeting Amidala? Well, she’s always been close to Palpatine. He believes that she is one of the senators under the thumb of the Sith - or so he says. Really, it’s all a scheme to deceive Kenobi into convincing the Jedi to support, and eventually work closely with, the Army of the Republic. (And, as seen above, it helps drive her into Anakin’s arms - though this may be more Palpatine’s scheme than Dooku’s)
All of this stuff about Dooku and the Sith, additionally, gives Kenobi another reason to remain in exile. He’s played a key role in the ascension of Palpatine and the creation of the first Army of the Republic. He votes for the Army Creation Act because he fears that the Separatists are violent terrorists who do represent a threat to the Republic. His guilt as well as his concern for Luke place him on Tatooine.
One final change for this movie. Anakin’s relationship with his mother in the first film planted the seeds for his need for Amidala in this one, as well as the seeds of his resentment of the Jedi. This movie needs to similarly set up the next one. Anakin’s Jedi prowess should include at least one or two moments of precognition. One great way to go here would be to have him be the lone Jedi who suspects Dooku. That makes him more powerful than the other Jedi, more clear-seeing, and also gives him more reason to resent them, as they do not believe him, and patronizingly dismiss his contribution. Give him something else to anticipate, as well - perhaps where to find some element of the plot against Amidala, like how to find where Obi-Wan is being held captive. We need to trust his visions of the future - and come to appreciate how much he trusts them, and how he comes to rely on them.
Episode III
Well, I’ve always felt this film worked better than the others. It’s endgame time - everything Palpatine has needed is in place. He has complete control of the Senate (and presumably the Court), his army is assembled and ready to take out the Jedi. Anakin is ready to fall. I wouldn’t really change anything Palpatine does in Sith.
There is one big, and easy, change to be made here. Amidala should be dying. It’s absurd that, having provided a legitimate reason for her death through Anakin’s Force choke, Lucas decides to have her die of a broken heart. She should die because of the physical trauma, not emotional.
But more importantly, she should be dying throughout the movie. Sure, Anakin is a Jedi and can see the future. We can trust his visions, and we know he has reason to trust them. And, sure, we’ve planted those seeds. But I think the audience can relate more, and the scenario has more urgency, if Amidala is actually dying. She shouldn’t be just perfectly healthy in the face of Anakin’s visions, that lessens their impact and the urgency of his choices. Also, if she’s dying the whole time, his fear is not only of losing Amidala, but the child as well. He shouldn’t be seeing her die in childbirth, but just dying from whatever it is she has. In this version of the movie, he doesn’t merely wish to stop a vision from coming true - he wants to stop something from unfolding. And the vision is telling him, not that it might happen, but that his attempts to stop it will fail. It shifts the focus of the visions, and no longer relies on them entirely to make us fear for Amidala’s life.
Then, of course, when she dies, it should be ambiguous whether it is from whatever disease she’s had or from Anakin’s Force choke. And Anakin, as I said in my original Annotations, should be told despite this ambiguity that he has killed her just as his mask is lowered onto his head - his scream of “no” cut short by the mechanical breathing which indicates the last spark of humanity has been extinguished in the once promising Jedi.
One other change involves something that isn’t really wrong with the movie, but which ties it to the original trilogy, particularly A New Hope in a fun way. As the movie stands, Palpatine instructs Vader to go to Mustafar to kill the Separatist leaders. Vader doesn’t ask how Palpatine knows their location, which is unusual, but not entirely incapable of explanation. Vader’s confused at this point, he wants to believe Palpatine so badly that he doesn’t allow himself any doubt, and so on. But I think that minor gap could be plugged, and in a way that provides yet another link to the next trilogy.
Palpatine should tell Vader that, through interrogation of Separatist prisoners, he’s discovered the location of their hidden base. He might even start using the term “rebels” instead of “Separatists.” This explains how Palpatine knows where to find Gunray and the others, it gives a picture of Vader’s first hunt for a hidden rebel base, it communicates to us how important Vader finds it to uncover secret rebel bases for the sake of ending destructive conflicts. Further, if Palpatine starts saying “rebel,” it furthers the cool factor of having the Empire show up, and Imperial uniforms, and the Death Star - if we also see, for the first time, references to the “rebellion.” It would certainly be in Palpatine’s interests to treat those who object to the formation of the Empire as contiguous with the Separatists, especially if the former movie has established the Separatists as terrorists with no public sympathy.
And that’s it. Yes, these changes leave a lot of poor dialogue and awkward subplots alone. Yes, I suppose it would be possible to make even more radical changes to the prequel storyline. But I think that this is a solid way to tighten up Anakin’s character. It gives his fall to the Dark Side the right proportion of poignancy and inevitability, it makes his relationship with Amidala more relatable, it makes the overall story cohere more. What all of this is trying to do is to take the basic story and structure Lucas has provided, and streamline it to give us a better sense of Anakin, a closer emotional involvement with his plight, and a more plausible context for his turn to the Dark Side. It’s surprising to me how readily the basic elements Lucas has in play could be reorganized to greater effect. The movies would still suffer from flaws (as, let’s face it, the original trilogy does) - but they would be far, far better movies. I think.