Maybe if I sit and close my eyes, the pain will subside.
About an hour ago, the vet came out and euthanized Nala. I'm glad it was so quick - after seeing her go through three seizures, I was more than ready for it to be over for her. She died almost instantly and mom and I took her out back and buried her. It hurts so bad and I miss her so much, but I'm so very glad her suffering has come to an end. Dear God, I love that dog.
I can't stop crying. Jon's off work for whatever reason, so he's going to come keep me company. Holly's going-away party is tonight, so I need to try and make the effort to show up for at least an hour to that. I look like shit and I feel like shit and I don't feel like pretending to be happy.. because I'm not.
Obviously, I couldn't go to work today. I called them this morning and told them I wouldn't be able to come in at all since we were waiting for a vet to come out and euthanize my dog.. so what'd the nurse say to me? "Oh. Can you call around and find someone to come in for you?" Fuck, no! I told her I'm not in the mood to call people. Jesus Christ. Fuck them all. If I get a write-up for staying home to take care of my dying dog, then they're getting a two-weeks notice in return. It's alright for other CNAs to call in sick because they have a hangover. I just can't believe it. You'd think working in a nursing home facility there'd be more compassion. Neither of the nurses I talked to could simply say, "I'm sorry" or "Are you ok?" It's always about the money. Someday, I hope I can work with a team that exhibits a little.. no, a LOT more consideration. I chose my career because I thought that's what being a nurse was all about - caring for others. I hope I wasn't mistaken.
I can't stop crying. Jon's off work for whatever reason, so he's going to come keep me company. Holly's going-away party is tonight, so I need to try and make the effort to show up for at least an hour to that. I look like shit and I feel like shit and I don't feel like pretending to be happy.. because I'm not.
Obviously, I couldn't go to work today. I called them this morning and told them I wouldn't be able to come in at all since we were waiting for a vet to come out and euthanize my dog.. so what'd the nurse say to me? "Oh. Can you call around and find someone to come in for you?" Fuck, no! I told her I'm not in the mood to call people. Jesus Christ. Fuck them all. If I get a write-up for staying home to take care of my dying dog, then they're getting a two-weeks notice in return. It's alright for other CNAs to call in sick because they have a hangover. I just can't believe it. You'd think working in a nursing home facility there'd be more compassion. Neither of the nurses I talked to could simply say, "I'm sorry" or "Are you ok?" It's always about the money. Someday, I hope I can work with a team that exhibits a little.. no, a LOT more consideration. I chose my career because I thought that's what being a nurse was all about - caring for others. I hope I wasn't mistaken.