Pink Sky No. 44
It's a bit sad as the office undoes itself and empties. First the amount of work began to change, dropping off, then the type of work began to change - disconnecting, packing things up and shipping them out, counting assets, taking signs off the walls. Early on, there was a lot of buzz about jobs and hardships, but now people mostly have either found jobs or failed too and don't talk about much. There was a game of Cranium all day yesterday that I didn't attend. Torn between being the last guy left to work remaining and my internet addiction.
I was the last one to leave at 430, 1/2 an hour early, and it's the last full day. We'll show up tomorrow for an unemployment lecture from the state, hand in our key cards, possibly play a game of freeze tag, and be out by noon. I drove home on an overly mild, early-sunset day of late december. My song list was:
Against the grain - In Flames
Like Suicide - Soundgarden
Bitter End - Econoline Crush
Blurry - Puddle of Mud, which came spontaneously onto the radio as I was switching CD's, an odd coinkidink
Pearl Jam - Immortality
with a pause in there to buy a pack and throw 17 of them away, after a little walking through places to see if I could identify a smoker who I might make a gift of them to. I didn't find one, though.
Part of this is also coming from the echo that I'm leaving my old slum, moving in with Ash this month, and am already preparing to leave Arkansas, which I liked from a distance but haven't really let into my world. Part of that is just my pattern of being - I always seem to end up in activity cycles that leave me not really involved in my community -
I would note here that it is a much less intense feeling of that than in DC, where people in general are much more visible, much more active, much more appearing-to-be-living-the-vida-loca that you aren't, and there's so much more around you to not be a part of. Also, I'm sure Ashley helps numb the sadness down to a mild mellow melancholy, which is mostly all it is. But, nevertheless, oh well.
I like Arkansas, actually. I like it's utter lack of pretension. It's just a less complicated place. Not a beautiful one. Not one with a lot of opportunities. Pretty average, and even ugly in places.
But that's fine with me. Suits me, even. And not because I hate myself of anything. Just because I like the lack of pressure, the lack of make-an-impression. Maybe I'm giving up on abroadness too quickly, and I really would dig Kazakhstan, then.
Anyway, people have come home, and it's hard to concentrate. The mood is over, and I won't miss it much. Ash and I are gonna go for a jog, on our on-again, off-again semi-kind-of-a-weekly-pattern except when it's not exercise routine.
Hoorah for structure to fall back on!
Tomorrow, thursday at absolute latest, I have to lock onto this list of urgent tasks, of which finding a new job is up there, and start tearing it to shreds.
I was the last one to leave at 430, 1/2 an hour early, and it's the last full day. We'll show up tomorrow for an unemployment lecture from the state, hand in our key cards, possibly play a game of freeze tag, and be out by noon. I drove home on an overly mild, early-sunset day of late december. My song list was:
Against the grain - In Flames
Like Suicide - Soundgarden
Bitter End - Econoline Crush
Blurry - Puddle of Mud, which came spontaneously onto the radio as I was switching CD's, an odd coinkidink
Pearl Jam - Immortality
with a pause in there to buy a pack and throw 17 of them away, after a little walking through places to see if I could identify a smoker who I might make a gift of them to. I didn't find one, though.
Part of this is also coming from the echo that I'm leaving my old slum, moving in with Ash this month, and am already preparing to leave Arkansas, which I liked from a distance but haven't really let into my world. Part of that is just my pattern of being - I always seem to end up in activity cycles that leave me not really involved in my community -
I would note here that it is a much less intense feeling of that than in DC, where people in general are much more visible, much more active, much more appearing-to-be-living-the-vida-loca that you aren't, and there's so much more around you to not be a part of. Also, I'm sure Ashley helps numb the sadness down to a mild mellow melancholy, which is mostly all it is. But, nevertheless, oh well.
I like Arkansas, actually. I like it's utter lack of pretension. It's just a less complicated place. Not a beautiful one. Not one with a lot of opportunities. Pretty average, and even ugly in places.
But that's fine with me. Suits me, even. And not because I hate myself of anything. Just because I like the lack of pressure, the lack of make-an-impression. Maybe I'm giving up on abroadness too quickly, and I really would dig Kazakhstan, then.
Anyway, people have come home, and it's hard to concentrate. The mood is over, and I won't miss it much. Ash and I are gonna go for a jog, on our on-again, off-again semi-kind-of-a-weekly-pattern except when it's not exercise routine.
Hoorah for structure to fall back on!
Tomorrow, thursday at absolute latest, I have to lock onto this list of urgent tasks, of which finding a new job is up there, and start tearing it to shreds.