I guess I owe a post on this...
This, being the weekend, of course... and the things that I feel are worth noting...
First of all... something that kind of bothered me during the weekend... is that I never really felt like I was there. Ever had that feeling like you're in the midst of something going on, but you never really feel like you're actually involved in it? It's weird to even describe (which shows exactly how little sense it makes in my head). Everyone in my family told me I did a great job as a Father, but... I don't know... it's like I never really meshed into the weekend...
And I think that part of that was because I poured my heart and soul and all of my being into the Prayer talk that I gave on Saturday... all of me went into that talk... it was on my mind every waking minute leading up to when I gave it, and I do not remember the last time that I had that level of absolute focus and determination in something... the good thing is that it paid off... several people made mention that their families were very, VERY much struck by what I said... which was the point. The only problem is, once I gave it, the rest of me damn near shut down... so much of me was given in that, it was like my entire being recolied after giving it... I was kind of zonked the rest of Saturday and until Mass Sunday...
My family was amazing! Even though three of the kids showed up on Saturday (no worries!) they were great! I forget whether or not Megan came last semester or not, but I know that Devin, Sarah, and Malinda had never been... and of course, I get James (! Did I mention I love James? In that purely platonic, holy crap this guy is super-awesome type of love?). And Maggie was a superb wife (and I mean that completely! She definitely took up my slack, because I do not think I was a very good father this Search)...
And I have to echo what so many others have said... this may very well have been the best Search ever. And for reasons that I cannot explain, really... part of it, I believe, is that we had so many new faces, and they all gave greatly of themselves to make the weekend special... but it's more than that, really... Personally, I feel like something inside me switched over... like God changed something within me, and turned something on that had never been turned on before... I don't know how to put it other than that, and I don't even know exactly what the difference is, but... it's there. And I'm going to figure it out before too long...
Heh. It's kind of funny a lot of people going on this retreat to find answers and find God, and I go and come back with more questions... some religious, some not... but... bah. God and I are going to sort this out later...
PAX CHRISTI
First of all... something that kind of bothered me during the weekend... is that I never really felt like I was there. Ever had that feeling like you're in the midst of something going on, but you never really feel like you're actually involved in it? It's weird to even describe (which shows exactly how little sense it makes in my head). Everyone in my family told me I did a great job as a Father, but... I don't know... it's like I never really meshed into the weekend...
And I think that part of that was because I poured my heart and soul and all of my being into the Prayer talk that I gave on Saturday... all of me went into that talk... it was on my mind every waking minute leading up to when I gave it, and I do not remember the last time that I had that level of absolute focus and determination in something... the good thing is that it paid off... several people made mention that their families were very, VERY much struck by what I said... which was the point. The only problem is, once I gave it, the rest of me damn near shut down... so much of me was given in that, it was like my entire being recolied after giving it... I was kind of zonked the rest of Saturday and until Mass Sunday...
My family was amazing! Even though three of the kids showed up on Saturday (no worries!) they were great! I forget whether or not Megan came last semester or not, but I know that Devin, Sarah, and Malinda had never been... and of course, I get James (! Did I mention I love James? In that purely platonic, holy crap this guy is super-awesome type of love?). And Maggie was a superb wife (and I mean that completely! She definitely took up my slack, because I do not think I was a very good father this Search)...
And I have to echo what so many others have said... this may very well have been the best Search ever. And for reasons that I cannot explain, really... part of it, I believe, is that we had so many new faces, and they all gave greatly of themselves to make the weekend special... but it's more than that, really... Personally, I feel like something inside me switched over... like God changed something within me, and turned something on that had never been turned on before... I don't know how to put it other than that, and I don't even know exactly what the difference is, but... it's there. And I'm going to figure it out before too long...
Heh. It's kind of funny a lot of people going on this retreat to find answers and find God, and I go and come back with more questions... some religious, some not... but... bah. God and I are going to sort this out later...
PAX CHRISTI