(no subject)
Finished drying my sheets at midnight, therefore I am in trouble. lots of trouble. another threat of being kicked out. i can't go shower. because of my slight ocd, i can't sleep in my bed... hell, i can't even make my bed because i haven't showered. and i can't shower because i am in so much trouble. trouble for going downstairs at midnight. it made noise and woke her up.
also, trouble because my room is a mess. i was trying to sort out the group of six necklaces she had asked me to make. trying to figure out a way to make them so everyone would like them. so everyone would want to wear them. no point. there's never any point. i'm never going to get anything right. it's the same old stupid story every day.
And all this time i've felt so betrayed that, while i've been shipped off to doctor after doctor to figure out why i don't work like everyone else, she's never taken the time to even try to listen. maybe all those times i said "i don't know why i didn't do it" i was telling the truth. maybe i don't lie all the time about everything and maybe i'm not somehow out to get her.
i don't want to be homeless, but i don't want to be here. but there's no where else to go, and i have no money. if i did, i'd be able to go back to school.
school, ha ha. this is the second time i have almost reached my senior year you know. so close i could taste it. so so close to finally getting a degree in something. anything. but all that time has gone to waste. it's almost like they don't want me to finish. that as soon as i finish my junior year, i've done something so horrible that they want nothing further to do with my education. and i have no money. i can't do this on my own. i can't do anything on my own. hell, i can't even fucking do laundry.
what's the fucking point
also, trouble because my room is a mess. i was trying to sort out the group of six necklaces she had asked me to make. trying to figure out a way to make them so everyone would like them. so everyone would want to wear them. no point. there's never any point. i'm never going to get anything right. it's the same old stupid story every day.
And all this time i've felt so betrayed that, while i've been shipped off to doctor after doctor to figure out why i don't work like everyone else, she's never taken the time to even try to listen. maybe all those times i said "i don't know why i didn't do it" i was telling the truth. maybe i don't lie all the time about everything and maybe i'm not somehow out to get her.
i don't want to be homeless, but i don't want to be here. but there's no where else to go, and i have no money. if i did, i'd be able to go back to school.
school, ha ha. this is the second time i have almost reached my senior year you know. so close i could taste it. so so close to finally getting a degree in something. anything. but all that time has gone to waste. it's almost like they don't want me to finish. that as soon as i finish my junior year, i've done something so horrible that they want nothing further to do with my education. and i have no money. i can't do this on my own. i can't do anything on my own. hell, i can't even fucking do laundry.
what's the fucking point