(no subject)
Title: Girly boys
Author: Las
Pairings: Dan/Jonny, Dan/OC
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Dan and his first gay kiss.
Author’s notes: I wanted to write KH slash, I asked unifiedxdivide what I should write, and what she requested was Dan’s first gay kiss. So I wrote this in a couple of hours. Here you go, sweets. <3
Oh and eh... yeah, the POV shifts aren't as brilliant as I'd have hoped they'd be. I hope you can sort of follow the two storylines without getting too confused.
--------------
Leaning against the wall of the bathroom, Dan watched how Jonny’s mouth opened in concentration as he drew a thick, black line with his eye pencil, following the curve of his eyelid. He observed how Jonny’s hand withdrew a few inches, after which he blinked, then studied himself in the mirror, comparing the lines around both bright blue eyes.
It was just after sound check and the afternoon was drawing to an end. It was still quiet in the bar, though a few locals hung around. No backstage room meant Jonny finding the bathroom to do his makeup - and Dan following him.
Dan loved watching Jonny when he did his makeup. He loved watching Jonny, period.
His thing for girly boys had started in high school and had refused to leave ever since.
~
I remember watching Jessie whenever I could. This him-her androginous sort of creature - some at school said him, some said her, some mockingly called him ‘it’. He never seemed to care much. I always referred to him as ‘he’, and I guess everyone knew that Jessie was really a boy. But he dressed however he wanted to, he wore makeup whenever he wanted to, and whatever he did he was always stunning. So I watched him.
~
Dan hadn’t known what to think when Jonny joined the band. This frail, beautiful boy whose hands were magic with a guitar, whose smiles stole his breath from the first moment, reminded him too much of his first real crush. Even if you wouldn’t really mistake Jonny for a girl - he was just a boy, looking even younger than he really was. But Dan himself wasn’t 17 anymore. Not a virgin anymore, not afraid of girls anymore.
But he still watched the girly boys, and Jonny was the one girly boy he saw most of.
~
I’ve always wondered where someone so young acquired all this self-confidence. My high school was known for being one of the more tolerant in the area, but even here, Jessie had to endure a lot. And he did endure it. Better than I would have in his place. He always held his head up high.
I was about the opposite in a lot of ways. I was a quiet young man, trying to disappear in the masses, befriending those just like me - no one who would come too close. The more superficial the better. I didn’t do girlfriends.
~
Jonny glanced aside at him. “You’re watching me.”
“Just waiting for you to finish so I can do my own makeup.”
Jonny grinned, looked flattered for the lie, then looked down to his stack of makeup. It seemed he was going for an absolutely flashing look tonight - shades of blue eye shadow to go with the black.
~
I could never figure out whether I wanted to talk to Jessie or not. This resulted in ‘not’, for obvious reasons. Until one day I heard a guitar playing one of my favourite R.E.M. songs in the music room, and my legs had already taken me in the direction of the sound of the strings before I fully considered the desirability of actually facing whoever was playing. Jessie was sitting with the guitar in his lap, looking up at me as I appeared in the door opening. He smiled at me.
~
Was Jonny putting on a show for him? The frail fingertips skimmed over his eyelids, carefully applying the eye shadow, adding just a little more, spreading it out just a little further to the side. They followed the shape of his eyebrows. Dan didn’t realise how intently he’d been watching Jonny’s fingers until he caught Jonny’s eyes staring back at him from the mirror.
“Are you going to use eye shadow too?”
Dan shook himself from his own little world. “Uh… no, why?”
“You’re watching me so closely. I can teach you how to do it, no problem.”
~
We talked, that once. He was interested and friendly, full of smiles. He played for me. But when he asked me if I could play, I told him I couldn’t. It was a spur of the moment sort of lie, a lie that made sure we never met up like that again, avoiding a next situation in which I would feel so blushy and my palms were so clammy and no sentence left my lips in sensible manner because he was sitting so close. It was only 20 minutes later that our next class started, which was when I staggered back into reality, the imprint of his beautiful smile and dark eyelashes on the inside of my eyelids.
I never considered myself gay. Not that I had ever made up my mind about being straight, either. I just knew I wanted Jessie, and that I was going to avoid him at all costs because it unnerved me.
~
Dan smiled at Jonny. “I’m not as pretty as you are, I’d just look like someone who’s trying too hard.”
Jonny turned around with a grin. “Probably. What do you think, is it alright?” He closed his eyes, showing off the deep blue shade on his eyelids.
“Yeah, it’s beautiful.”
Jonny opened his eyes again. “Good. Your turn.” He didn’t move.
~
It was a big high school party at some rich class mate’s house, the sort I usually didn’t go to, the sort I didn’t figure Jessie usually went to, but 11th grade was drawing to an end, and I for my part got dragged there under the vice of ‘one of our last parties together, you gotta be there’. This turned out to be a plot to hook me up with a girl from our year who I knew was interested in me - I had always chosen to ignore her. I had picked this fateful night to let my guard down for a change and get drunk, drunker than I usually would. I wasn’t quite sure just how I ended up with the girl in my arms and everyone cheering us on, I just remember catching a glimpse of Jessie, feeling panic-struck of a sudden, pushing the girl off me, and fleeing outside.
I had never kissed anyone.
Jessie found me sitting in a dark corner with my head buried in my arms. I didn’t look up when he kneeled down beside me, and only recognised him when he spoke. “Hey, Dan. Are you alright?”
~
Dan shifted his weight from one foot to the other, uncomfortable under Jonny’s knowing smile. “Alright, uhm, can I use the mirror then?”
“I’ll do your makeup for you if you want.”
Dan sighed, admitting defeat at Jonny’s broad grin. “No eye shadow.”
“Just pencil. Lean back against the wall so I can reach.”
~
I was surprised he even knew my name. I looked up at him, the bright blue of his eyes clear even in the light of the street lantern a while away. We stared at each other for a moment, then, again to my surprise, he sat down beside me
“I’m okay. Just drank too much,” I lied. I always lied when I felt cornered.
For a while, we sat in a silence that as far as I was concerned, was far from comfortable. But Jessie always seemed too comfortable to be true, and his voice sounded vaguely amused when he spoke again. As if we were friends. “You will be happy to know Kimberly found someone for her entertainment. About five minutes after you stormed out.”
“Good for her,” I grumbled, not feeling half as amused - if only for the fact that I had no idea how to act, what to do, now he was so close again.
~
Dan’s hands were clammy against the tiles as he did what Jonny asked of him, finding the younger man between his legs as he ordered Dan to close his eyes, look up, look down, don’t blink. Was Jonny making a fool of him? The pencil applied a gentle pressure to his skin.
“You’re almost a real pretty boy now,” Jonny chuckled. “Go look in the mirror.”
~
“Are you even into girls?”
A wild blush heated up my face, but I pretended it wasn’t so and casually glanced the other way, something imaginary having caught my attention there. “Sure I am,” I murmured. I gathered my courage for a moment, turning my face towards him, which immediately made my heart rate speed up even more. I saw his eyes straying over my face, and his tongue flicked out over his lips. I felt like my insides had spontaneously formed a knot inside my body.
He was going to kiss me.
~
Dan would’ve loved to go look in the mirror, but Jonny was still standing there, blocking his way. He gulped, avoiding Jonny’s eyes at all costs. Someone was playing a game, and Dan knew it.
One more moment, and Jonny stepped away.
~
The moment was over so quickly that I wondered if it had really been there. Jessie had risen, and offered me a hand. “Let’s go back?”
My mind was totally blank as I accepted the hand, rose, and followed him. I couldn’t remember why I left the party in the first place. I couldn’t think at all anymore.
Suddenly, he turned back to me. “I’m sorry, Dan, I’ve got a boyfriend.”
~
Dan looked up, staring at Jonny who was standing two steps away from him now, looking at him with open, curious eyes.
Dan wasn’t 17 anymore, not a virgin anymore. But he’d never kissed a man. He blew his one chance, long ago, because he didn’t have the fucking guts to go after what he wanted.
Before he could change his mind, Dan pushed away from the wall, his body bumping into Jonny’s, his hand sliding into the younger man’s neck at the same time that his lips found Jonny’s soft ones, that parted, so he could taste, and the thrill of arousal going through him shocked even himself.
When he pulled back, both of them were panting slightly.
Jonny gulped, then wiped his mouth, a grin tugging on the corners of his lips. “Okay. Now go look in the fucking mirror.”
The End
Author: Las
Pairings: Dan/Jonny, Dan/OC
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Dan and his first gay kiss.
Author’s notes: I wanted to write KH slash, I asked unifiedxdivide what I should write, and what she requested was Dan’s first gay kiss. So I wrote this in a couple of hours. Here you go, sweets. <3
Oh and eh... yeah, the POV shifts aren't as brilliant as I'd have hoped they'd be. I hope you can sort of follow the two storylines without getting too confused.
--------------
Leaning against the wall of the bathroom, Dan watched how Jonny’s mouth opened in concentration as he drew a thick, black line with his eye pencil, following the curve of his eyelid. He observed how Jonny’s hand withdrew a few inches, after which he blinked, then studied himself in the mirror, comparing the lines around both bright blue eyes.
It was just after sound check and the afternoon was drawing to an end. It was still quiet in the bar, though a few locals hung around. No backstage room meant Jonny finding the bathroom to do his makeup - and Dan following him.
Dan loved watching Jonny when he did his makeup. He loved watching Jonny, period.
His thing for girly boys had started in high school and had refused to leave ever since.
~
I remember watching Jessie whenever I could. This him-her androginous sort of creature - some at school said him, some said her, some mockingly called him ‘it’. He never seemed to care much. I always referred to him as ‘he’, and I guess everyone knew that Jessie was really a boy. But he dressed however he wanted to, he wore makeup whenever he wanted to, and whatever he did he was always stunning. So I watched him.
~
Dan hadn’t known what to think when Jonny joined the band. This frail, beautiful boy whose hands were magic with a guitar, whose smiles stole his breath from the first moment, reminded him too much of his first real crush. Even if you wouldn’t really mistake Jonny for a girl - he was just a boy, looking even younger than he really was. But Dan himself wasn’t 17 anymore. Not a virgin anymore, not afraid of girls anymore.
But he still watched the girly boys, and Jonny was the one girly boy he saw most of.
~
I’ve always wondered where someone so young acquired all this self-confidence. My high school was known for being one of the more tolerant in the area, but even here, Jessie had to endure a lot. And he did endure it. Better than I would have in his place. He always held his head up high.
I was about the opposite in a lot of ways. I was a quiet young man, trying to disappear in the masses, befriending those just like me - no one who would come too close. The more superficial the better. I didn’t do girlfriends.
~
Jonny glanced aside at him. “You’re watching me.”
“Just waiting for you to finish so I can do my own makeup.”
Jonny grinned, looked flattered for the lie, then looked down to his stack of makeup. It seemed he was going for an absolutely flashing look tonight - shades of blue eye shadow to go with the black.
~
I could never figure out whether I wanted to talk to Jessie or not. This resulted in ‘not’, for obvious reasons. Until one day I heard a guitar playing one of my favourite R.E.M. songs in the music room, and my legs had already taken me in the direction of the sound of the strings before I fully considered the desirability of actually facing whoever was playing. Jessie was sitting with the guitar in his lap, looking up at me as I appeared in the door opening. He smiled at me.
~
Was Jonny putting on a show for him? The frail fingertips skimmed over his eyelids, carefully applying the eye shadow, adding just a little more, spreading it out just a little further to the side. They followed the shape of his eyebrows. Dan didn’t realise how intently he’d been watching Jonny’s fingers until he caught Jonny’s eyes staring back at him from the mirror.
“Are you going to use eye shadow too?”
Dan shook himself from his own little world. “Uh… no, why?”
“You’re watching me so closely. I can teach you how to do it, no problem.”
~
We talked, that once. He was interested and friendly, full of smiles. He played for me. But when he asked me if I could play, I told him I couldn’t. It was a spur of the moment sort of lie, a lie that made sure we never met up like that again, avoiding a next situation in which I would feel so blushy and my palms were so clammy and no sentence left my lips in sensible manner because he was sitting so close. It was only 20 minutes later that our next class started, which was when I staggered back into reality, the imprint of his beautiful smile and dark eyelashes on the inside of my eyelids.
I never considered myself gay. Not that I had ever made up my mind about being straight, either. I just knew I wanted Jessie, and that I was going to avoid him at all costs because it unnerved me.
~
Dan smiled at Jonny. “I’m not as pretty as you are, I’d just look like someone who’s trying too hard.”
Jonny turned around with a grin. “Probably. What do you think, is it alright?” He closed his eyes, showing off the deep blue shade on his eyelids.
“Yeah, it’s beautiful.”
Jonny opened his eyes again. “Good. Your turn.” He didn’t move.
~
It was a big high school party at some rich class mate’s house, the sort I usually didn’t go to, the sort I didn’t figure Jessie usually went to, but 11th grade was drawing to an end, and I for my part got dragged there under the vice of ‘one of our last parties together, you gotta be there’. This turned out to be a plot to hook me up with a girl from our year who I knew was interested in me - I had always chosen to ignore her. I had picked this fateful night to let my guard down for a change and get drunk, drunker than I usually would. I wasn’t quite sure just how I ended up with the girl in my arms and everyone cheering us on, I just remember catching a glimpse of Jessie, feeling panic-struck of a sudden, pushing the girl off me, and fleeing outside.
I had never kissed anyone.
Jessie found me sitting in a dark corner with my head buried in my arms. I didn’t look up when he kneeled down beside me, and only recognised him when he spoke. “Hey, Dan. Are you alright?”
~
Dan shifted his weight from one foot to the other, uncomfortable under Jonny’s knowing smile. “Alright, uhm, can I use the mirror then?”
“I’ll do your makeup for you if you want.”
Dan sighed, admitting defeat at Jonny’s broad grin. “No eye shadow.”
“Just pencil. Lean back against the wall so I can reach.”
~
I was surprised he even knew my name. I looked up at him, the bright blue of his eyes clear even in the light of the street lantern a while away. We stared at each other for a moment, then, again to my surprise, he sat down beside me
“I’m okay. Just drank too much,” I lied. I always lied when I felt cornered.
For a while, we sat in a silence that as far as I was concerned, was far from comfortable. But Jessie always seemed too comfortable to be true, and his voice sounded vaguely amused when he spoke again. As if we were friends. “You will be happy to know Kimberly found someone for her entertainment. About five minutes after you stormed out.”
“Good for her,” I grumbled, not feeling half as amused - if only for the fact that I had no idea how to act, what to do, now he was so close again.
~
Dan’s hands were clammy against the tiles as he did what Jonny asked of him, finding the younger man between his legs as he ordered Dan to close his eyes, look up, look down, don’t blink. Was Jonny making a fool of him? The pencil applied a gentle pressure to his skin.
“You’re almost a real pretty boy now,” Jonny chuckled. “Go look in the mirror.”
~
“Are you even into girls?”
A wild blush heated up my face, but I pretended it wasn’t so and casually glanced the other way, something imaginary having caught my attention there. “Sure I am,” I murmured. I gathered my courage for a moment, turning my face towards him, which immediately made my heart rate speed up even more. I saw his eyes straying over my face, and his tongue flicked out over his lips. I felt like my insides had spontaneously formed a knot inside my body.
He was going to kiss me.
~
Dan would’ve loved to go look in the mirror, but Jonny was still standing there, blocking his way. He gulped, avoiding Jonny’s eyes at all costs. Someone was playing a game, and Dan knew it.
One more moment, and Jonny stepped away.
~
The moment was over so quickly that I wondered if it had really been there. Jessie had risen, and offered me a hand. “Let’s go back?”
My mind was totally blank as I accepted the hand, rose, and followed him. I couldn’t remember why I left the party in the first place. I couldn’t think at all anymore.
Suddenly, he turned back to me. “I’m sorry, Dan, I’ve got a boyfriend.”
~
Dan looked up, staring at Jonny who was standing two steps away from him now, looking at him with open, curious eyes.
Dan wasn’t 17 anymore, not a virgin anymore. But he’d never kissed a man. He blew his one chance, long ago, because he didn’t have the fucking guts to go after what he wanted.
Before he could change his mind, Dan pushed away from the wall, his body bumping into Jonny’s, his hand sliding into the younger man’s neck at the same time that his lips found Jonny’s soft ones, that parted, so he could taste, and the thrill of arousal going through him shocked even himself.
When he pulled back, both of them were panting slightly.
Jonny gulped, then wiped his mouth, a grin tugging on the corners of his lips. “Okay. Now go look in the fucking mirror.”
The End