Quiz of Awesome Answers!
So, a lot of you took my Quiz of Awesome yesterday in hopes of finding out whether you are smarter than my random knowledge of useless facts. Like, a LOT of you. Over 100 people! I guess you guys like quizzes! I might have to make it a regular thing. Anyway, the answers!
For the record, you guys are very smart. Especially considering that a lot of you aren't American and could care less about the Civil War.
01. In 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue. Where did he land?
a) Plymouth Rock, because Massachusettes is totally awesome - 18 (14.5%)
b)Cape Town, woo slaves! - 4 (3.2%)
c)South America, woo tacos! - 27 (21.8%)
d)Cuba, woo communism! - 75 (60.5%)
Columbus actually landed a few different places, mainly in the Bahamas. He landed first on San Salvador, then continued onto Cuba, Hispanola, and some other Bahamian islands. So, basically, Columbus is responsible for the death of Anna Nicole. What goes around comes around, and in this case, poor, drugged out Anna Nicole Smith was forced to suffer for Columbus being an imperialist douche. (Source.)
02. Which of the following was NOT a cause of the American Civil War (ie the War Between the States, War of Northern Agression)
a) Eli Whitney - 5 (4.1%)
b) Abraham Lincoln - 3 (2.4%)
c) Slavery - 0 (0.0%)
d) Weapons of Mass Destruction - 113 (91.9%)
e) Taxes - 2 (1.6%)
This should've been a giveaway, since WMDs (or nuclear weapons) weren't discovered by the Fermi group until approximately 1939. (source). You may be saying, "But Andrea, Eli Whitney was just a simple inventor, how could HE be a cause of the Civil War?" Simple. Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin, which in turn cemented the South's role as an agriculturally-based, slave-supported economy. He ALSO invented interchangeable parts, which led to the creation of mass production and the North's ability to not only manufacture things like guns very very quickly, but cemented the North's economy as a manufacturing one that didn't NEED slave labor. Choas ensued. Hence, Eli Whitney: the real reason for the Civil War.
...I really wish I didn't know that off the top of my head.
03. The French and Indian War was between:
a) France and India, duh - 0 (0.0%)
b) France and Native Americans, you tricky bitch, you - 34 (27.9%)
c) France and Great Britain, because that's always a good guess - 80 (65.6%)
d) Canada and the United States, and actually, it was a hockey game - 8 (6.6%)
Also called the Seven Years War, it took place from 1746-1763. The United States, for those of you keeping score, didn't exist at that point. France and Great Britain were battling it out for North America. Britain pretty much won. It's called the French and Indian War because France allied with the Iriquois. Southerners probably didn't learn that much about this war, but us Northerns/Canadians had to study this bitch every fucking year throughout elementary school. (Source.)
04. Which of the following dead white men was NOT a philosopher:
a) Karl Marx - 2 (1.6%)
b) Aristotle - 1 (0.8%)
c) Adam Smith - 21 (17.1%)
d) Douglas Adams - 63 (51.2%)
e) Adolf Hitler - 36 (29.3%)
Karl Marx invented a little thing called communism. You might've heard of it, especially if you live in Cuba. Adam Smith wrote The Wealth of Nations which is basically about how capitalism works, and yes, it's a philosophy. If you haven't read it, consider yourself lucky. Adolf Hitler definitely HAD a philosophy and he wrote Mein Kampf which I haven't read but I know includes that philosophy. HOWEVER, I will accept Douglas Adams as a philosopher, because yes. I do think he had a very specific philosophy that comes through in his writing. Also, he's way funnier than Hitler.
05. Which of the following was never a US President?
a) James Madison - 5 (4.0%)
b) Henry Adams - 87 (70.2%)
c) Calvin Coolidge - 5 (4.0%)
d) Martin Van Buren - 22 (17.7%)
e) Bob Barker. Just kidding. George Bush. - 5 (4.0%)
Most of you knew that Henry Adams was never a US President. He wrote The Education of Henry Adams, which is an autobiography written in the THIRD PERSON and pretty much the most boring, pretensious piece of crap I ever had to read for school. A lot of you said Martin Van Buren, to which I refer you to a very handy way to remember that he existed, the song James K Polk by They Might Be Giants, which goes: In 1844 the Democrats were split / 3 nomineed for the presidential candidate / were Martin Van Buren, a former president and an abolitionist. TMBG likes to teach you things. For those of you confused by the 'was' wording of the question on option E, don't forget that George HW Bush WAS a president. Although it's maybe better if you DO.
06. Vladimir Putin is
a) the President of Russia - 46 (37.1%)
b) a pedophile - 0 (0.0%)
c) a former KGB Soviet "intelligence officer" - 3 (2.4%)
d) none of the above - 4 (3.2%)
e) all of the above - 71 (57.3%)
A lot of you apparently missed Putin molesting that little boy in front of cameras. Which maybe doesn't make him a pedophile, so this is kind of subjective, but he WAS in the KGB, hence E must be true. (Source.)
07. The Axis of Evil included:
a) Japan, Italy, and Germany - 56 (45.2%)
b) North Korea, Iraq, and Iran - 61 (49.2%)
c) Mississippi, Arkansas, Alabama - 1 (0.8%)
d) Syria, Lebanon, North Korea - 6 (4.8%)
*facepalm* Look, I know this was a tricky question. BUT. The Axis Powers consisted of Japan, Italy, and Germany. This was during WW2. The Axis of EVIL is a Bushism created to set a sowing ground for the War in Iraq. If you've ever played Axis and Allies, this is something you'd know. And also because FDR would never have used a phrase so crass. Source.)
08. 'Hamas' refers to:
a) a delicious middle eastern food made from chickpeas. YUM. - 5 (4.0%)
b) a Palestinian political party - 94 (75.8%)
c) an Israeli terrorist cell - 21 (16.9%)
d) your MOM - 4 (3.2%)
While Hamas is generally considered to be a terrorist cell, they are definitely Palestinian and currently control the Palestinian Authority (the Palestinian government). The whole Israeli-Palestinian conflict is confusing though, so I forgive you.
09. The Trail of Tears was when:
a) George W. Bush got re-"elected" - 9 (7.3%)
b) Andrew Jackson committed genocide - 112 (91.1%)
c) Andrew Jackson decided to end Big Block of Cheese Day - 1 (0.8%)
d) Dick Cheney shot a man in the face and nothing happened - 1 (0.8%)
Good job! Almost all of you knew that the Trail of Tears was that whole genocide thing our elementary school teachers try to brush off as a "forced march" that, really, was for the Native Americans' own good. Estimated Cherokee deaths range from 2000-8000 out of 15,000 Cherokee (and 2000 slaves owned by Cherokee) who were forcibly displaced. (Source.)
10. Lance Bass never made it to space. Which of these things did?
a) fruit flies - 75 (61.5%)
b) monkeys - 109 (89.3%)
c) dogs - 86 (70.5%)
d) tortoises - 23 (18.9%)
e) brine shrimp - 43 (35.2%)
f) Japanese killifish - 24 (19.7%)
g) crickets - 41 (33.6%)
h) your MOM - 26 (21.3%)
All of these are right. I mean, okay, technically my mom didn't go to space, but she IS kind of an alien, so. The real question is, why did they think that brine shrimp should go to space? Scientists are weird. I, for one, would MUCH rather have Lance in space that brine shrimp. Unless we're shooting all the brine shrimp into the sun, I'd be okay with that. (Source.)
For the record, you guys are very smart. Especially considering that a lot of you aren't American and could care less about the Civil War.
01. In 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue. Where did he land?
a) Plymouth Rock, because Massachusettes is totally awesome - 18 (14.5%)
b)Cape Town, woo slaves! - 4 (3.2%)
c)South America, woo tacos! - 27 (21.8%)
d)Cuba, woo communism! - 75 (60.5%)
Columbus actually landed a few different places, mainly in the Bahamas. He landed first on San Salvador, then continued onto Cuba, Hispanola, and some other Bahamian islands. So, basically, Columbus is responsible for the death of Anna Nicole. What goes around comes around, and in this case, poor, drugged out Anna Nicole Smith was forced to suffer for Columbus being an imperialist douche. (Source.)
02. Which of the following was NOT a cause of the American Civil War (ie the War Between the States, War of Northern Agression)
a) Eli Whitney - 5 (4.1%)
b) Abraham Lincoln - 3 (2.4%)
c) Slavery - 0 (0.0%)
d) Weapons of Mass Destruction - 113 (91.9%)
e) Taxes - 2 (1.6%)
This should've been a giveaway, since WMDs (or nuclear weapons) weren't discovered by the Fermi group until approximately 1939. (source). You may be saying, "But Andrea, Eli Whitney was just a simple inventor, how could HE be a cause of the Civil War?" Simple. Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin, which in turn cemented the South's role as an agriculturally-based, slave-supported economy. He ALSO invented interchangeable parts, which led to the creation of mass production and the North's ability to not only manufacture things like guns very very quickly, but cemented the North's economy as a manufacturing one that didn't NEED slave labor. Choas ensued. Hence, Eli Whitney: the real reason for the Civil War.
...I really wish I didn't know that off the top of my head.
03. The French and Indian War was between:
a) France and India, duh - 0 (0.0%)
b) France and Native Americans, you tricky bitch, you - 34 (27.9%)
c) France and Great Britain, because that's always a good guess - 80 (65.6%)
d) Canada and the United States, and actually, it was a hockey game - 8 (6.6%)
Also called the Seven Years War, it took place from 1746-1763. The United States, for those of you keeping score, didn't exist at that point. France and Great Britain were battling it out for North America. Britain pretty much won. It's called the French and Indian War because France allied with the Iriquois. Southerners probably didn't learn that much about this war, but us Northerns/Canadians had to study this bitch every fucking year throughout elementary school. (Source.)
04. Which of the following dead white men was NOT a philosopher:
a) Karl Marx - 2 (1.6%)
b) Aristotle - 1 (0.8%)
c) Adam Smith - 21 (17.1%)
d) Douglas Adams - 63 (51.2%)
e) Adolf Hitler - 36 (29.3%)
Karl Marx invented a little thing called communism. You might've heard of it, especially if you live in Cuba. Adam Smith wrote The Wealth of Nations which is basically about how capitalism works, and yes, it's a philosophy. If you haven't read it, consider yourself lucky. Adolf Hitler definitely HAD a philosophy and he wrote Mein Kampf which I haven't read but I know includes that philosophy. HOWEVER, I will accept Douglas Adams as a philosopher, because yes. I do think he had a very specific philosophy that comes through in his writing. Also, he's way funnier than Hitler.
05. Which of the following was never a US President?
a) James Madison - 5 (4.0%)
b) Henry Adams - 87 (70.2%)
c) Calvin Coolidge - 5 (4.0%)
d) Martin Van Buren - 22 (17.7%)
e) Bob Barker. Just kidding. George Bush. - 5 (4.0%)
Most of you knew that Henry Adams was never a US President. He wrote The Education of Henry Adams, which is an autobiography written in the THIRD PERSON and pretty much the most boring, pretensious piece of crap I ever had to read for school. A lot of you said Martin Van Buren, to which I refer you to a very handy way to remember that he existed, the song James K Polk by They Might Be Giants, which goes: In 1844 the Democrats were split / 3 nomineed for the presidential candidate / were Martin Van Buren, a former president and an abolitionist. TMBG likes to teach you things. For those of you confused by the 'was' wording of the question on option E, don't forget that George HW Bush WAS a president. Although it's maybe better if you DO.
06. Vladimir Putin is
a) the President of Russia - 46 (37.1%)
b) a pedophile - 0 (0.0%)
c) a former KGB Soviet "intelligence officer" - 3 (2.4%)
d) none of the above - 4 (3.2%)
e) all of the above - 71 (57.3%)
A lot of you apparently missed Putin molesting that little boy in front of cameras. Which maybe doesn't make him a pedophile, so this is kind of subjective, but he WAS in the KGB, hence E must be true. (Source.)
07. The Axis of Evil included:
a) Japan, Italy, and Germany - 56 (45.2%)
b) North Korea, Iraq, and Iran - 61 (49.2%)
c) Mississippi, Arkansas, Alabama - 1 (0.8%)
d) Syria, Lebanon, North Korea - 6 (4.8%)
*facepalm* Look, I know this was a tricky question. BUT. The Axis Powers consisted of Japan, Italy, and Germany. This was during WW2. The Axis of EVIL is a Bushism created to set a sowing ground for the War in Iraq. If you've ever played Axis and Allies, this is something you'd know. And also because FDR would never have used a phrase so crass. Source.)
08. 'Hamas' refers to:
a) a delicious middle eastern food made from chickpeas. YUM. - 5 (4.0%)
b) a Palestinian political party - 94 (75.8%)
c) an Israeli terrorist cell - 21 (16.9%)
d) your MOM - 4 (3.2%)
While Hamas is generally considered to be a terrorist cell, they are definitely Palestinian and currently control the Palestinian Authority (the Palestinian government). The whole Israeli-Palestinian conflict is confusing though, so I forgive you.
09. The Trail of Tears was when:
a) George W. Bush got re-"elected" - 9 (7.3%)
b) Andrew Jackson committed genocide - 112 (91.1%)
c) Andrew Jackson decided to end Big Block of Cheese Day - 1 (0.8%)
d) Dick Cheney shot a man in the face and nothing happened - 1 (0.8%)
Good job! Almost all of you knew that the Trail of Tears was that whole genocide thing our elementary school teachers try to brush off as a "forced march" that, really, was for the Native Americans' own good. Estimated Cherokee deaths range from 2000-8000 out of 15,000 Cherokee (and 2000 slaves owned by Cherokee) who were forcibly displaced. (Source.)
10. Lance Bass never made it to space. Which of these things did?
a) fruit flies - 75 (61.5%)
b) monkeys - 109 (89.3%)
c) dogs - 86 (70.5%)
d) tortoises - 23 (18.9%)
e) brine shrimp - 43 (35.2%)
f) Japanese killifish - 24 (19.7%)
g) crickets - 41 (33.6%)
h) your MOM - 26 (21.3%)
All of these are right. I mean, okay, technically my mom didn't go to space, but she IS kind of an alien, so. The real question is, why did they think that brine shrimp should go to space? Scientists are weird. I, for one, would MUCH rather have Lance in space that brine shrimp. Unless we're shooting all the brine shrimp into the sun, I'd be okay with that. (Source.)