Drabbles of Crack
Y'all are on crack, just in case you didn't realize that before. I want to preface this by saying that I didn't come up with the pairings. It's all on you. Also, I took a nap at 7pm last night and didn't wake up until my alarm went off this morning. SCORE. So this is me, on 12 hours of sleep, completely awake, and there are pizza rolls in the oven! Anyway, drabbles.
Crowley | blood and feathers | for chreik
So you'd think what with him being a demon and all, servant of darkness causing many catastrophes and in general really enjoying that whole bit where he's allowed to wallow (or maybe bask, possibly that's the word he's looking for, sounds much more dignified) in other people's misery and doom all around, that Crowley might, in fact, have a slightly stronger stomach when it comes to blood. And usually, he's okay with it. Well, not okay, exactly, but if he closes his eyes during the really nasty bits and wears his shades so that nobody notices, he can usually get away from a particularly bloody scene without vomiting too profusely. So really, agreeing to watch Dogma was probably a bad idea to begin with, but add in the ending, with the blood and the feathers and Matt Damon's face doing that weird squishy thing it does when he's trying to act-well. He should've known better. Clearly.
Justin/JC | seedy motel | for anael
He's pretty sure that Justin does it on purpose, just because he knows how much JC hates places like this, all sordid and dirty, and not in a sexy-dirty way, but in an actual dirty way, with like, dust and grime and germs and once he found a used condom stuck between the pages of the phone book when he tried to order pizza, which pretty much traumatized him for life. He didn't speak for an entire week (not that anyone noticed really, they all thought he was writing a song or playing with the unicorns in his head or something-they have really messed up ideas of how JC's brain works) and even now he can't use the yellow pages and it's all Justin's fault. Because Justin thinks it's exciting, these disgusting, seedy motels, but mostly he likes to wander around in a black fedora and sunglasses at night pretending to be Veronica Mars, but seriously, Justin isn't even that cool. He tells Justin so.
"Like seriously, okay. Just like, for example? Do you have to say your name in every single song? Because I'm pretty sure they know who you are, J. If, you know, they're buying your album."
"But this way they're really really sure," Justin says, and he's all earnest-sounding, like he really wants JC to understand this announcing himself compulsion thing. JC doesn't. Cleaning, washing his hands in multiples of three, buying every color of pumas available, even the orange and purple ones-those are understandable. This? Is just ridiculous. And also, Justin is no Veronica. He just can't pull that shit off.
On the other hand, well. You know what they say: Justin Timberlake-he's a marshmallow.
*
Jensen/Jesse Spencer | for babyofthegroup
Jensen doesn't watch tv. He lives in Canada, and okay, so for the most part they get all the same shows in real time or whatever so that's not really an excuse, but most of the stuff on tv is just shitty, and anyway, why watch like, CSI: Bumblefuck when Hockey Night in Canada is on, or Degrassi. And hey, shut up about Degrassi, everyone watches it, and besides which, Jared's the one who really likes it anyway, Jensen just watches because like, what else is he going to do on a Friday night? They live in Canada.
So anyway, he doesn't watch tv, which is why when he ends up at the TV Guide photo shoot (and damn, but Jared is pissed off they didn't invite him too, but like, seriously, Jensen is way prettier, it was only a matter of time before the rest of the world figured that out) he has no idea who this guy is, except that, well. He maybe might be possibly even prettier than Jensen. Which Jensen didn't actually think was possible without being like, some sort of androgynous, might-as-well-be-a-girl model type, but apparently it is because this guy. Fucking beautiful. But you know, in a many way.
They don't really exchange much in the way of words. It's this whole silent communication through, you know, hot looks and subtle lip-licking, but they do exchange blowjobs in the wardrobe trailer while the crew gets Jensen's shoot set up, and fuck is this guy's dick isn't the most perfect thing Jensen has ever seen. And it tastes perfect too, salty and smooth and hot on his tongue. Jensen has missed this, the feel of someone thrusting in his mouth, slowly losing control, heavy breaths and surprised gasps and fingers sliding against the back of his neck, and really, he thinks, it's too fucking bad that Jared is so committed to pretending he's straight.
When it's Jensen's turn he doesn't last long because this guy is perfect everywhere, but especially his mouth, the sight of those pink lips stretching around Jensen's dick, eyes flicking up to watch Jensen fall apart as he sucks and swallows and-yeah.
So he never catches the guy's name, and it's not until weeks later, when Jared is sick of Degrassi reruns and hockey season is over, that Jensen sees the guy-hot blowjob guy, he thinks of him-on television, looking hot as ever and still probably prettier than Jensen, even when he's not all made up for a shoot.
"Wow, so he's Australian?" Jensen says. "And he plays a doctor. That's. Weird."
Jared gives him a look. The one that clearly says he doesn't want to know, even though really, Jensen knows he totally does and he only wishes he had the sort of awesome sex Jensen gets. But hey, if Jared wants to keep playing the fuck-a-traumatized-orphan game, that's his own business.
"Dude, you play a supernatural detective. And you think being a doctor is weird?"
"Well," says Jensen with a slight frown, "From the way he gives blowjobs, I thought he must be in soaps."
*
Jensen/Jared | the sea | for lazy_daze
When Jensen told him they were going to spend the day by the sea, Jared didn't quite imagine this. Jared thinks of the sea as, well, the beach, like in LA or Corpus, not. Um. Whatever the hell this is, which is totally not a beach, but more a collection of sand and rocks and broken shells, but mainly rocks, and the water looks angry and grey and not like anything he'd ever want to actually get in.
"What the fuck is this?" Jared says. Clearly, England sucks, mostly for the food, but especially for the so-called beaches. Also, it's cold, and there's wind, and if Jared wanted to be shivering on a "beach" in the middle of summer, he would've stayed in Canada. He misses civilized places, like Texas, where it never gets below forty degrees and if it does, for some freak reason, no one leaves their houses.
Jensen just smiles and slips an arm around Jared's waist, leans into him, a warm weight against his side. And okay, that's kind of nice, Jared has to admit, although what would be better, would be if Jensen maybe kissed him. And then he does, and it's nice, no, better than nice, it's perfect and warm and Jensen is the best kisser ever, way better than Sandy and about a gillion times better than Chad, who only kisses when he's drunk or high and usually starts drooling in the middle. So maybe. Maybe the sea isn't so bad. But the food still sucks.
*
Mel Gibson/Britney Spears | for scottmpriz
Britney is a good girl. No, seriously. People talk about her like she's this gigantic slut or whatever, and okay, so maybe some of her costumes are a little whorey, but like, it's not like she gets to choose them or whatever, and if her momma says they're okay, Britney doesn't really think twice about wearing a string-and-sequin outfit as long as her nipples are pretty much covered. So when Mel Gibson comes up to her at the Grammy after party-and seriously, what is he doing here anyway, he's totally not a musician, which okay, some would say the same about her, but damnit, she worked really hard on her last album and she even directed the video for "Do Somethin,'" which everyone totally loves-and whispers something really gross in her ear, Britney feels sort of angry. She thinks it's anger, anyway, like maybe she should throw her drink in his face or hit him or something, but it's Mel Gibson, so instead she just says:
"I swear, I'm a Christian. And a virgin. Er. Okay no, I'm married so not anymore, is that… yeah, that's right, but um. Totally, for sure a Christian. So no. I won't blow you in my truck. Or in the clouds. I don't think that's even like, a thing you can do, I mean, I'm pretty sure flying cars aren't invented yet. Um. Are they?"
Mel stares at her blankly for a second before saying, "What I said was, 'Your new video, with the truck and the clouds, blew me away.'" He clears his throat and downs his drink. "But if you're offering me a blowjob in a flying car, I'll have my people invent one for the cause."
And I was supposed to write danxsunday/cucumber, but then I just couldn't, so um. Sorry. Maybe inspiration will strike later. But for now, pizza rolls!
Crowley | blood and feathers | for chreik
So you'd think what with him being a demon and all, servant of darkness causing many catastrophes and in general really enjoying that whole bit where he's allowed to wallow (or maybe bask, possibly that's the word he's looking for, sounds much more dignified) in other people's misery and doom all around, that Crowley might, in fact, have a slightly stronger stomach when it comes to blood. And usually, he's okay with it. Well, not okay, exactly, but if he closes his eyes during the really nasty bits and wears his shades so that nobody notices, he can usually get away from a particularly bloody scene without vomiting too profusely. So really, agreeing to watch Dogma was probably a bad idea to begin with, but add in the ending, with the blood and the feathers and Matt Damon's face doing that weird squishy thing it does when he's trying to act-well. He should've known better. Clearly.
Justin/JC | seedy motel | for anael
He's pretty sure that Justin does it on purpose, just because he knows how much JC hates places like this, all sordid and dirty, and not in a sexy-dirty way, but in an actual dirty way, with like, dust and grime and germs and once he found a used condom stuck between the pages of the phone book when he tried to order pizza, which pretty much traumatized him for life. He didn't speak for an entire week (not that anyone noticed really, they all thought he was writing a song or playing with the unicorns in his head or something-they have really messed up ideas of how JC's brain works) and even now he can't use the yellow pages and it's all Justin's fault. Because Justin thinks it's exciting, these disgusting, seedy motels, but mostly he likes to wander around in a black fedora and sunglasses at night pretending to be Veronica Mars, but seriously, Justin isn't even that cool. He tells Justin so.
"Like seriously, okay. Just like, for example? Do you have to say your name in every single song? Because I'm pretty sure they know who you are, J. If, you know, they're buying your album."
"But this way they're really really sure," Justin says, and he's all earnest-sounding, like he really wants JC to understand this announcing himself compulsion thing. JC doesn't. Cleaning, washing his hands in multiples of three, buying every color of pumas available, even the orange and purple ones-those are understandable. This? Is just ridiculous. And also, Justin is no Veronica. He just can't pull that shit off.
On the other hand, well. You know what they say: Justin Timberlake-he's a marshmallow.
*
Jensen/Jesse Spencer | for babyofthegroup
Jensen doesn't watch tv. He lives in Canada, and okay, so for the most part they get all the same shows in real time or whatever so that's not really an excuse, but most of the stuff on tv is just shitty, and anyway, why watch like, CSI: Bumblefuck when Hockey Night in Canada is on, or Degrassi. And hey, shut up about Degrassi, everyone watches it, and besides which, Jared's the one who really likes it anyway, Jensen just watches because like, what else is he going to do on a Friday night? They live in Canada.
So anyway, he doesn't watch tv, which is why when he ends up at the TV Guide photo shoot (and damn, but Jared is pissed off they didn't invite him too, but like, seriously, Jensen is way prettier, it was only a matter of time before the rest of the world figured that out) he has no idea who this guy is, except that, well. He maybe might be possibly even prettier than Jensen. Which Jensen didn't actually think was possible without being like, some sort of androgynous, might-as-well-be-a-girl model type, but apparently it is because this guy. Fucking beautiful. But you know, in a many way.
They don't really exchange much in the way of words. It's this whole silent communication through, you know, hot looks and subtle lip-licking, but they do exchange blowjobs in the wardrobe trailer while the crew gets Jensen's shoot set up, and fuck is this guy's dick isn't the most perfect thing Jensen has ever seen. And it tastes perfect too, salty and smooth and hot on his tongue. Jensen has missed this, the feel of someone thrusting in his mouth, slowly losing control, heavy breaths and surprised gasps and fingers sliding against the back of his neck, and really, he thinks, it's too fucking bad that Jared is so committed to pretending he's straight.
When it's Jensen's turn he doesn't last long because this guy is perfect everywhere, but especially his mouth, the sight of those pink lips stretching around Jensen's dick, eyes flicking up to watch Jensen fall apart as he sucks and swallows and-yeah.
So he never catches the guy's name, and it's not until weeks later, when Jared is sick of Degrassi reruns and hockey season is over, that Jensen sees the guy-hot blowjob guy, he thinks of him-on television, looking hot as ever and still probably prettier than Jensen, even when he's not all made up for a shoot.
"Wow, so he's Australian?" Jensen says. "And he plays a doctor. That's. Weird."
Jared gives him a look. The one that clearly says he doesn't want to know, even though really, Jensen knows he totally does and he only wishes he had the sort of awesome sex Jensen gets. But hey, if Jared wants to keep playing the fuck-a-traumatized-orphan game, that's his own business.
"Dude, you play a supernatural detective. And you think being a doctor is weird?"
"Well," says Jensen with a slight frown, "From the way he gives blowjobs, I thought he must be in soaps."
*
Jensen/Jared | the sea | for lazy_daze
When Jensen told him they were going to spend the day by the sea, Jared didn't quite imagine this. Jared thinks of the sea as, well, the beach, like in LA or Corpus, not. Um. Whatever the hell this is, which is totally not a beach, but more a collection of sand and rocks and broken shells, but mainly rocks, and the water looks angry and grey and not like anything he'd ever want to actually get in.
"What the fuck is this?" Jared says. Clearly, England sucks, mostly for the food, but especially for the so-called beaches. Also, it's cold, and there's wind, and if Jared wanted to be shivering on a "beach" in the middle of summer, he would've stayed in Canada. He misses civilized places, like Texas, where it never gets below forty degrees and if it does, for some freak reason, no one leaves their houses.
Jensen just smiles and slips an arm around Jared's waist, leans into him, a warm weight against his side. And okay, that's kind of nice, Jared has to admit, although what would be better, would be if Jensen maybe kissed him. And then he does, and it's nice, no, better than nice, it's perfect and warm and Jensen is the best kisser ever, way better than Sandy and about a gillion times better than Chad, who only kisses when he's drunk or high and usually starts drooling in the middle. So maybe. Maybe the sea isn't so bad. But the food still sucks.
*
Mel Gibson/Britney Spears | for scottmpriz
Britney is a good girl. No, seriously. People talk about her like she's this gigantic slut or whatever, and okay, so maybe some of her costumes are a little whorey, but like, it's not like she gets to choose them or whatever, and if her momma says they're okay, Britney doesn't really think twice about wearing a string-and-sequin outfit as long as her nipples are pretty much covered. So when Mel Gibson comes up to her at the Grammy after party-and seriously, what is he doing here anyway, he's totally not a musician, which okay, some would say the same about her, but damnit, she worked really hard on her last album and she even directed the video for "Do Somethin,'" which everyone totally loves-and whispers something really gross in her ear, Britney feels sort of angry. She thinks it's anger, anyway, like maybe she should throw her drink in his face or hit him or something, but it's Mel Gibson, so instead she just says:
"I swear, I'm a Christian. And a virgin. Er. Okay no, I'm married so not anymore, is that… yeah, that's right, but um. Totally, for sure a Christian. So no. I won't blow you in my truck. Or in the clouds. I don't think that's even like, a thing you can do, I mean, I'm pretty sure flying cars aren't invented yet. Um. Are they?"
Mel stares at her blankly for a second before saying, "What I said was, 'Your new video, with the truck and the clouds, blew me away.'" He clears his throat and downs his drink. "But if you're offering me a blowjob in a flying car, I'll have my people invent one for the cause."
And I was supposed to write danxsunday/cucumber, but then I just couldn't, so um. Sorry. Maybe inspiration will strike later. But for now, pizza rolls!