Who is: Andrea
And now, the long-awaited answers to my how well do you know me poll from, er, yesterday. So not really that long-awaited.
01. Say my name, bitch!: Everyone got this right, of course, although I am very proud of the one lone person who picked 'Porcupine.' Don't we all wish that was really my name?
02. How old am I: I'm 25. Who chose 26-30? You three will be shot on sight. I am still 25 and plan to cling tenaciously to my young adulthood for the next four months.
03. My degree is in: English. I briefly thought about doubling in Comparative Lit, but didn't think I had the money to spend a year overseas. I also thought about Gender Studies but didn't want to write a BA. I wrote one anyway, to get honors, so now I feel sort of stupid about that choice.
04. My fanfic kinks include: Lots of people said bdsm which is kind of funny. I mean, I guess it intrigues me but I don't tend to read a lot of it in fic (unless switchknife is writing it) because it's usually done poorly. 50% of you got it right with 'bondage.' I'm a sucker for people getting tied up. Bloodplay... not really my thing although I do like the taste of blood (tastes like pennies, yum, or the water in Ohio, yum). I'm not really one for reading about it. Then again I'll read anything that's well done.
05. I am originally from: Ohio. 61.1% of you got that right. Those of you who answered 'your mom'--I think we need to talk. Unless you're my sister, and then I guess that would technically be correct, as I did come from her mom.
06. My favorite HP character is: Harry, which 52.9% of you got right. Snape is my second favorite character (23.5% of you guess that). No one said 'Hermione' which is sort of funny. I love Hermione. She's totally me, but uglier.
07. I work for: this was actually a trick question. Technically I am paid by the federal government, so the 27.8% of you who guessed that are right. But I actually work (as in do tasks) for Habitat for Humanity, which won the poll with an overwhelming 61.1%. But man, the one person who said Barnes and Noble--I fucking WISH I worked there.
08. How many people have I had sex with: actually, it's 12. If we use Kenneth Starr's definition of 'sex', of course. If we don't count oral sex, the number drops significantly to um... 8. Oh. So not that significantly, but it puts me in a different bracket according to my poll. I would say 12 though, because honestly, anything that can give you syphilis should count as sex. Only one person got this right. The rest of you, especially meredyth_13 apparently think I am much less slutty than I am. I don't know whether to be insulted (as in "she has no play, she's obviously only done it ONCE") or take it as a compliment ("she seems like such a sweet, innocent girl who would never have sex with that many people.") I'm still debating. But obviously, the HORS have it.
09. I've been diagnosed with the which of the following super fun psychiatric disorders: Now, this is not to say I have actually HAD or been treated for these disorders, just that at one point or other in my life, a doctor/psychiatrist/psychologist/lcsw decided I had them and probably wrote it down in his or her case notes. schmoo999 totally rules the school as the only person to hit all of my diagnosed disorders. This was a tricky one because I was never anorexic, but my pediatrician was convinced I was and diagnosed me with it for years. She made me keep food diaries and shit, it was ridiculous. I did have a stint as a kleptomaniac but was only diagnosed years later, after I had forced myself to stop stealing and moved on to pulling my hair out instead. OCD, obviously yes with the kleto and the trichatillomania; depression, who hasn't been?; anxiety--again, OCD is an anxiety disorder; I'm obviously way too awesome for this world and seriously, what the cock is that shit?
10. OTP: This changes a lot. I don't think I really have one right now but if I did (and if people would actually write it), it would deifnitely be Jon Stewart/Anderson Cooper. Yes, closely followed by Ewan/Hayden. I need to watch RoTS again, for SERIOUS.
The winner of the poll is, I think, lecksee. Unless someone else got more right that she did. She got everything except the psychiatric disorders question (underestimating the stupidity of my pediatrician, I'm sure). Um, I'm pretty sure she doesn't want fic though, right? An icon perhaps?
And now, to continue with the sheep theme, Top Ten Signs You're Reading Fanfic by Phaballa:
1. There are motorbikes involved.
2. In 20 pages of fic, there are 2 lines of porn squeezed in at the end.
3. It has the phrase 'here's the thing.'
4. It seems like whoever wrote it must've been smoking crack.
5. Probably because they were, if the rain of toads is anything to judge by.
6. Peter Saarsgard turns straight people gay.
7. Snape is dark and moody and vitrolic and UNREPENTANT.
8. Re: Draco, see above, except not as clever.
9. Natalie Portman is throwing something and going on about how she went to Harvard, bitches.
10. Hayden Christensen is on his knees where he belongs, sucking someone's cock.
01. Say my name, bitch!: Everyone got this right, of course, although I am very proud of the one lone person who picked 'Porcupine.' Don't we all wish that was really my name?
02. How old am I: I'm 25. Who chose 26-30? You three will be shot on sight. I am still 25 and plan to cling tenaciously to my young adulthood for the next four months.
03. My degree is in: English. I briefly thought about doubling in Comparative Lit, but didn't think I had the money to spend a year overseas. I also thought about Gender Studies but didn't want to write a BA. I wrote one anyway, to get honors, so now I feel sort of stupid about that choice.
04. My fanfic kinks include: Lots of people said bdsm which is kind of funny. I mean, I guess it intrigues me but I don't tend to read a lot of it in fic (unless switchknife is writing it) because it's usually done poorly. 50% of you got it right with 'bondage.' I'm a sucker for people getting tied up. Bloodplay... not really my thing although I do like the taste of blood (tastes like pennies, yum, or the water in Ohio, yum). I'm not really one for reading about it. Then again I'll read anything that's well done.
05. I am originally from: Ohio. 61.1% of you got that right. Those of you who answered 'your mom'--I think we need to talk. Unless you're my sister, and then I guess that would technically be correct, as I did come from her mom.
06. My favorite HP character is: Harry, which 52.9% of you got right. Snape is my second favorite character (23.5% of you guess that). No one said 'Hermione' which is sort of funny. I love Hermione. She's totally me, but uglier.
07. I work for: this was actually a trick question. Technically I am paid by the federal government, so the 27.8% of you who guessed that are right. But I actually work (as in do tasks) for Habitat for Humanity, which won the poll with an overwhelming 61.1%. But man, the one person who said Barnes and Noble--I fucking WISH I worked there.
08. How many people have I had sex with: actually, it's 12. If we use Kenneth Starr's definition of 'sex', of course. If we don't count oral sex, the number drops significantly to um... 8. Oh. So not that significantly, but it puts me in a different bracket according to my poll. I would say 12 though, because honestly, anything that can give you syphilis should count as sex. Only one person got this right. The rest of you, especially meredyth_13 apparently think I am much less slutty than I am. I don't know whether to be insulted (as in "she has no play, she's obviously only done it ONCE") or take it as a compliment ("she seems like such a sweet, innocent girl who would never have sex with that many people.") I'm still debating. But obviously, the HORS have it.
09. I've been diagnosed with the which of the following super fun psychiatric disorders: Now, this is not to say I have actually HAD or been treated for these disorders, just that at one point or other in my life, a doctor/psychiatrist/psychologist/lcsw decided I had them and probably wrote it down in his or her case notes. schmoo999 totally rules the school as the only person to hit all of my diagnosed disorders. This was a tricky one because I was never anorexic, but my pediatrician was convinced I was and diagnosed me with it for years. She made me keep food diaries and shit, it was ridiculous. I did have a stint as a kleptomaniac but was only diagnosed years later, after I had forced myself to stop stealing and moved on to pulling my hair out instead. OCD, obviously yes with the kleto and the trichatillomania; depression, who hasn't been?; anxiety--again, OCD is an anxiety disorder; I'm obviously way too awesome for this world and seriously, what the cock is that shit?
10. OTP: This changes a lot. I don't think I really have one right now but if I did (and if people would actually write it), it would deifnitely be Jon Stewart/Anderson Cooper. Yes, closely followed by Ewan/Hayden. I need to watch RoTS again, for SERIOUS.
The winner of the poll is, I think, lecksee. Unless someone else got more right that she did. She got everything except the psychiatric disorders question (underestimating the stupidity of my pediatrician, I'm sure). Um, I'm pretty sure she doesn't want fic though, right? An icon perhaps?
And now, to continue with the sheep theme, Top Ten Signs You're Reading Fanfic by Phaballa:
1. There are motorbikes involved.
2. In 20 pages of fic, there are 2 lines of porn squeezed in at the end.
3. It has the phrase 'here's the thing.'
4. It seems like whoever wrote it must've been smoking crack.
5. Probably because they were, if the rain of toads is anything to judge by.
6. Peter Saarsgard turns straight people gay.
7. Snape is dark and moody and vitrolic and UNREPENTANT.
8. Re: Draco, see above, except not as clever.
9. Natalie Portman is throwing something and going on about how she went to Harvard, bitches.
10. Hayden Christensen is on his knees where he belongs, sucking someone's cock.