MONDAYI DECEMBER 31I AFTERNOONI Birthday....

[ph_azure]

Current Location: Dorm First Floor Lounge

.....I guess thats why I couldn't sleep...

*stares at a nearby calender, noticing the date*

The day I was born....the day i was thrown into the dark hour...

...I fucking hate my birthday..

Comments

[torawareta_tori]

Ah, happy birthday!...

Or... not, right? ^_^;;

If you wish to talk about anything, I'm always willing to listen.

Even if this day holds bad memories for you, I really do wish for today to be special for you.

[ph_azure]

heh, thanks. I appreciate it i suppose...

I wonder if there's anything to do today, everybody seems to be out and about. I guess I've become the leastmost special around this time huh..

[torawareta_tori]

Hmm, I'm sure we can throw together a party of sorts. ^_^

I can run out to the store. It's no problem. ^_^

[ph_azure]

o no no no. Its ok...I'm not really a party person. I get really uncomfortable and ansy.

[torawareta_tori]

Ah... If you're sure, then. I don't want to make you uncomfortable.

Still, is there anything I can do for you?

[ph_azure]

*Signs into the network messenger on his palm under the sn bludcurupt, before putting it back in his pocket*

No its alright, its funny thought, outside of tartarus runs, we haven't even really spoken to eachother. why all the kindness?

[torawareta_tori]

I'm sorry that we haven't been able to interact much else, but...

That doesn't mean that I don't care any less about you than any of the other members. ^_^

We're a team, but... Even if we weren't... Isn't it only natural to want to be kind to others? ^_^

[ph_azure]

Then wouldn't you set yourself to be dissappointed and hurt, and not just physically, but emotionally as well?

Sorry, its just that Ive been down that road and I guess Im just angsting about how misfortunate it was for me, sorry...

[torawareta_tori]

There's no need to apologize. I said I would listen, didn't I? ^_^

Hmm... I would still rather place my faith in others before doubting them, although... I admit that I've been forgetting that lately.

People will always hurt at some points in their lives, and sometimes someone we trust can betray us...

But, we can carry those scars and still move forward. That's... what makes people stronger, isn't it...?

[ph_azure]

Yea, but at what cost. Sure it makes people stronger, but doesn't it also change the person. It may change them into something more positive, and better..

It could also turn them bitter and cold, It really depends on the person I suppose. Some people just handle it differently. And honestly, you get sick and tired of bearing those scars after a while, both physical and emotional...

[torawareta_tori]

People will change because we are always learning more about ourselves and others...

Some people will grow while others may become bitter... Those scars are painful, but...

No one ever said you have to bear them alone. No matter what kind of sadness or pain it is you're feeling, I don't mind sharing the burden.

[ph_azure]

Thats a kind thought, but then that leads to another issue...

You're more than willing to bear the scars of others, care for others, but then what if it becomes too much, what if you become swamped with bearing so many other burdens that your own burden collapses and buries you. Sure there's always the opportunity to rise through it, but what if the result was turned twisted and strange.

Its a very scary tightrope to walk on, I guess you could say i thought I could walk it in stide, and for a while I did....and then look at me, I bear a White Star with Black Wings on my back for a reason...

*note: The emblem on the back of his jacket, and also a small tattoo between his shoulder blades on his upper back*

[torawareta_tori]

It won't bury me because I won't let it. There isn't much that I can do in this world, so... If I could help others even slightly... I'd be happy.

A white star with black wings? Is there a sort of symbolism to that?

[ph_azure]

Its a family emblem...except the colors are reversed. Its supposed to be a black star with white wings...

Well don't get over in your head, cause despite your happiness, it won't stop the stress from overwhelming. Everybody's got a limit. the Sooner you find that out, the better..

[torawareta_tori]

But, if I can... prevent others from reaching that limit...

Just make sure to tell me if you're feeling close to it, okay? ^_^

[ph_azure]

heh *shakes his head* this is going nowhere, anyways...

I'll keep that in mind, you can also let me know if u need some enlightenment on the other side of the coin if you know what i mean