(no subject)
sooo me and the gf broke up 2 days before my b-day. i seem to have a habit of that. left a girl when i graduated from high school, right before christmas, on a yearly anniversary...i think even one before my bday. *shrugs* i've come to realize that the only thing i'm gonna miss is the love she gave me before she changed. Before we came to hate each other. before the silence that could kill and the strangers sleeping in the same bed. sex was just that...sex, no love there anymore. rare on occasion too. looking in her eyes was like staring at the sun, it hurt. i'm no longer her girl but i think i was no longer her girl a long time ago. I separated myself from her, but stayed for what reason? just to have someone there? to get back at her? to use her? I'm not in high school anymore, i cant do this to people. i dont love her anymore and i havent for awhile. I cant deal with her childish ways anymore. I see more of my ex amanda in her everyday and i see myself in her. the girl i used to be and i hope one day she gets her temper under control because it'll consume and destroy her if she doesnt. it did me and i know it will to her too. the only thing i'm really sad about is i was looking foward to going to busch gardens tomorrow with her, she loved it there and i loved it too. she was goin to take me but i guess not now. i wish we could go as friends but she'd never agree to that :( other than that, i'm fine for now, i havent broke down yet. i will and then i'll be fine. i wish her the best. she asked me how we got to this point and i honestly don't know, that made me upset and i could hear her cries to me through her voice. i wish i could make it all better but i cant and i have to live with that. i miss you patty and i wish you the best....