I have a headache from being distressed for over 12 hours
I had a terrible last 24 hrs of my trip due to missing out on a flight and having to fly out stupid early. Then I come home and my house is a disaster. Gabi was TRYING to help, I guess. Her compulsion to clean got in her and she went WAY WAY too far. For trying to clean, the house is infuriatingly not even clean on top of being a disaster.
She rearranged the drawers even. Every countertop, tabletop, everything's moved around and not even consistently. She took ALL the rugs outside, ALL of them, and then it rained and they're not even clean out there, I can see the dust and litter and such, but now they're dirty AND wet and the whole of upstairs at least is gonna need a mopping now because of walking around in shoes with all the rugs gone and all the dust kicked up by moving everything. She got a dishwasher from a free group and installed it, and I didn't tell her to do that, and now I look at it and don't know what it's indicated and it was running apparently all day when I got home yet somiehow the sink is still full?! And there are things EVERYWHERE! The surfaces are STILL all covered but now I have no idea where ANYTHING is and it's all just a mess!
I was honestly having to try and keep it down with how intensely distressed I was by everything. I mean, I can't hide it but she's a sensitive baby and will meltdown and I kinda caused it anyway by being unhappy by EVERYTHING, but I tried not to yell or anything, so I couldn't even be mad, I was so upset, I'm still so upset. She didn't even fix any of it, she had to go have some space, and geez, MUST BE NICE, BECAUSE I'M IN MY OWN HOME RIGHT NOW AND I HAVE NO SPACE. I'm so uncomfortable and lost and upset and sad and angry and I'M AT HOME. I can't go anywhere and I can't even just sit here! AH SHIT, and they took ALL the cardboard outside but then just LEFT it out there?! You can't take cardboard outside even for the night, it'll absorb moisture outside! So they took it all out of the hallway, but not really because there IS STILL CARDBOARD IN THE HALLWAY?! So the cardboard outside, is it even still recyclable anymore or is it just soggy trash???? ANd it's all outside! THey just dumped all these bags of stuff otuside and of course it scattered and animals and now there's TRASH and APPLIANCES and whatnot just OUT FRONT of my house, and my dad would be livid, I am livid. That is just the step to getting to be a redneck hovel in the woods and we're littering. I hate it so much, I'm so unhappy. And it's STILL raining, it's going to be raining for days, it's thread of SNOW soon. I have to get all these DIRTY WET rugs BACK in the house and ???????
Can't park in the garage because it's FULL and stuff is everywhere. They took all the dish stuff out from below the sink and put it in the garage???? WHY???? and also drinks? But not even all of them????????? SO WHYYYYYYY????? I am just looking around my house screaming WHY and FOR GOD'S SAKE, near tears, constantly. I have a headache from my forehead not being smooth for a whole day now. I'm so stressed. This is weeks of work they've given me. And all while under auspices of making things BETTER, of being HELPFUL even, and it's made everything WORSE!
And I can't even yell at her about it. I can't even scream. I can't rant anywhere. I'm so distressed and unhappy, I'm so tired. There's so much work. I can't even do it all. I have to do so much inside just to make it LESS BAD, not even to make it BETTER. Oh my God.