if i had a nickel for all the archaisms in my head...

[pfennigdreadful]

i have neither ambition nor enterprise to prepare for exams. however, i do have modestly-sized blue pilules. who needs gumption when one has consumption. (ohhh am i not so shamefully bijou? now watch my mouth form a wanton smile that you can't help but adore.)

here here, messieurs, to he who bears the derrière's imprint of the man who last sat on him! let us jocundly capture his concavity with plaster of paris! ...oh no no. rather i say, ass plaster!