YOU CAN'T KILL ME!
But some random old white bastard can almost do it for you!
That's right kids, today I, Jonathan Pezzi, was nearly killed! Ha! Put away the party hats, I said "nearly" not " !" How so you ask, well I have your answer!
I was working in Walgreens, a happy employee as always. Suddenly, I had to give liqueur a break! So I was in liqueur, a happier employee (because of less work), when some old guy comes in looking for a box. "No boxes buddy, sorry" I tell him, expecting everything to be fine. So then he grabs 2 cases of beer, some scotch, and two 1 liter bottles of Hennesy and puts them on the counter. I scan them all, and then he gives me two walgreens cards and goes "one has money on it, not sure which, and the other has nothing..." so I go to scan them, and suddenly HE WALKS OUT WITH THE HENNESY! At this point I have 2 things going through my head (as I QUICKLY scan the cards): 1) this guy is a fucking idiot 2) this guy just stole shit from me. As it turned out, the cards had absolute shit on them, so I ran out to either a) tell him or b) get him the fuck back in the store with my $100 worth of Hennesy.
As I'm out there, I see him pull out, and am "fucker", so I walk towards him and suddenly he floors it and swerves to hit me! I, of course, jump out of the way, and then run behind his fucking beat up pick-up truck and get the plates (of which I almost forgot before I wrote it down in the store).
Long story short, we called the cops, they're looking for him, and I still live. And yes, I am serious, and everything I wrote is true.
I hate people.
That's right kids, today I, Jonathan Pezzi, was nearly killed! Ha! Put away the party hats, I said "nearly" not " !" How so you ask, well I have your answer!
I was working in Walgreens, a happy employee as always. Suddenly, I had to give liqueur a break! So I was in liqueur, a happier employee (because of less work), when some old guy comes in looking for a box. "No boxes buddy, sorry" I tell him, expecting everything to be fine. So then he grabs 2 cases of beer, some scotch, and two 1 liter bottles of Hennesy and puts them on the counter. I scan them all, and then he gives me two walgreens cards and goes "one has money on it, not sure which, and the other has nothing..." so I go to scan them, and suddenly HE WALKS OUT WITH THE HENNESY! At this point I have 2 things going through my head (as I QUICKLY scan the cards): 1) this guy is a fucking idiot 2) this guy just stole shit from me. As it turned out, the cards had absolute shit on them, so I ran out to either a) tell him or b) get him the fuck back in the store with my $100 worth of Hennesy.
As I'm out there, I see him pull out, and am "fucker", so I walk towards him and suddenly he floors it and swerves to hit me! I, of course, jump out of the way, and then run behind his fucking beat up pick-up truck and get the plates (of which I almost forgot before I wrote it down in the store).
Long story short, we called the cops, they're looking for him, and I still live. And yes, I am serious, and everything I wrote is true.
I hate people.