Things that annoy me

[pezzae]

The other day I was in a shopping centre and this guy just whipped out a burger and started eating, right in front of me, without even asking if I minded. So rude! I could see his jaw muscles moving and everything. I can't understand these self-righteous, attention-seeking bogans who think they can just chew away in public without considering anyone else. I get that chewing is natural and all, but so is pooping - can't they eat in a toilet? Or if they insist on doing it in public, at least use a naso-gastric tube. I use a naso-gastric tube and there's nothing wrong with me, so all these so-called 'health benefits' from chewing solid food are clearly a myth. I can't understand why anyone would want to eat solids when they could use a tube. They must derive some sort of perverse sexual pleasure from it. I mean, everyone knows mouths are for making out, right? Gross! I'm happy to see ads featuring highly sexualised images of mouths selling everything from icecream to movies, cos sex sells, that's just something we have to live with. But people using their own mouths to get nutrition is just obscene. We're not animals! I don't want to have to see that when I'm out with my child. She might ask me what mouths are for, and I want to keep her innocent as long as I can. And don't get me started on people who chew gum... I mean, next they'll be chewing dildos in public, would that be appropriate? I don't think so. Keep your chewing at home, people, it's disgusting and I don't want to have to see it.

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No, seriously, anti-breastfeeding advocates? Sound like that.