The strangest night
It has been the strangest night. My stomach is churning - it feels as if a hole will break though my gut wall any second, and then I might cough up blood. I've got a feeling if it got to
that point, that it would be something of a relief. That at that point the world around me
would take over and I could cough and go to the hospital and maybe get drugged and drop off to
sleep. Sleep without dreams maybe.
I spoke to my sister. She had great news for me, but I found it hard to express congratulations though the wrenching stomach pain.
I was able to sleep from 3 am to 4:10 am. I woke up. It took me 10 minutes to realize that the entire evening hadn't been a dream or a nightmare. I couldn't remember if I dreamed this night last week? Or if something similar had happened a few weeks ago, similar words and sounds. I'm looking though this murky haze - emotions piling upon one another.
I made a cup of tea and chewed a piece of gum. I will go out back when the sun rises and I will pick fresh mint leaves and I will make mint tea to help calm my stomach. When the sun rises (I hope the new day brings some positivity) if it is sunny enough I might lay in the backyard and see if I can find some tranquility looking up at the sky and clouds.
The tea and gum have helped a little. Writing has helped a little. Birds outdoor have begun their day still dark, I will begin today now too.
that point, that it would be something of a relief. That at that point the world around me
would take over and I could cough and go to the hospital and maybe get drugged and drop off to
sleep. Sleep without dreams maybe.
I spoke to my sister. She had great news for me, but I found it hard to express congratulations though the wrenching stomach pain.
I was able to sleep from 3 am to 4:10 am. I woke up. It took me 10 minutes to realize that the entire evening hadn't been a dream or a nightmare. I couldn't remember if I dreamed this night last week? Or if something similar had happened a few weeks ago, similar words and sounds. I'm looking though this murky haze - emotions piling upon one another.
I made a cup of tea and chewed a piece of gum. I will go out back when the sun rises and I will pick fresh mint leaves and I will make mint tea to help calm my stomach. When the sun rises (I hope the new day brings some positivity) if it is sunny enough I might lay in the backyard and see if I can find some tranquility looking up at the sky and clouds.
The tea and gum have helped a little. Writing has helped a little. Birds outdoor have begun their day still dark, I will begin today now too.