Fic: A Year (Firsts): Knocking Me Sideways (Kristin Chenoweth/Idina Menzel RPF)
Title: Knocking Me Sideways
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Fandom: RPF
Pairing: Kristin Chenoweth/Idina Menzel
Spoilers: none
Summary: Realisation.
Disclaimer: You know the drill.
They stay by each other all night. Even when more guests flood through the front door and Kristin's forced to play the dutiful hostess, they remain joined at the hip, at the hands, as if they were one. Kristin touches Idina at every opportunity, fingering her woven bracelets, playing with her ring, her hair, stroking the earrings that dangle and swim in her dark brown curls. In the kitchen, she smears salsa sauce on her nose and giggles about it in the living room.
When Julia comes to talk to them, Kristin snags a belt loop protectively, filling Idina with a surge of slightly hesitant but mostly overwhelming warmth.
It's nice, having this constant security by her side. The evening's in full swing. The whole cast is here, the designers and writers and the rest of production. They're chatting and buzzing- thanks to Norbert, there's a game of Paranoia going on in the corner and occasional shrieks of disbelief fill the air, cutting through the mellow ambience and Norah Jones' voice filtering through the speakers.
Kristin perches herself on an armrest and Idina reclines on the sofa, next to Michelle, smiling each time Kristin whispers in her ear. She gets a detailed play-by-play of who's drunk and who's flirting and realises at one point that she must be blushing because Michelle's not the first to comment on their proximity. Norbert had poked fun at her earlier in the evening and Stephen had noted, with sly amusement in his voice, how 'the two leads were taking their commitment to their on-stage relationship far too seriously.'
But Idina doesn't mind. Lately, there had been far too many nights of falling asleep with take-out and sitcoms that she's simply grateful to have Kristin's presence shine some light on her life. The woman has an innate ability to make her laugh at any given time in any given way and that's something worth holding on to.
"You hungry?"
"Nu-huh," Idina drops her chin to her chest, wiggling the fingers in her lap as Kristin slides a ring off to inspect it.
"You always wear this."
"My mother gave it to me."
"It's beautiful." Kristin admires the tiger's eye stone, its caramel silhouette glistening in the embers of the flickering fire, perfectly blending with Idina's ivory complexion, her slender hand. "And this?" she trails her fingertips over the backs of Idina's hands, over the delicate veins she finds, over her knuckles and wrist to the woven leather bracelet that permanently resides there.
"Friendship bracelet," Idina smiles wistfully.
"It suits you."
"It's been a while since I've seen her."
Kristin notices the regret in Idina's voice and lifts her eyes from the tiny silver butterfly dangling off the clasp, "Why?"
"She moved to Europe after high school."
And she still wears it.
"Oh honey. I'm sorry."
Idina shrugs, "People leave."
There's so much hanging in the air between them, thick and looming and deliciously inviting, that Kristin's dying to ask Idina all about it. She knows about Idina's parents' divorce. Hard as it may be to believe, she knows all about leaving.
"She must still mean a lot to you."
Idina leans back in her seat but her arm remains extended, resting across Kristin's lap. The feel of Kristin's fingers on the soft skin of her forearm brings tears to her eyes and she swallows them thickly. "You know how people believe in 'the one'?"
Kristin frowns slightly, listening to the commotion of those around them. She nods and thinks, devastatingly, proudly, for the umpteenth time, that Idina is absolutely, undeniably gorgeous.
"Of course."
"She was 'the one' as far as friends go. That sounds wrong. I meant, you only ever really click with one person, maybe two. Not very many. It's so rare to find that, someone who'll put up with your bullshit. Who fits you...I don't mean romantically, I just..." she exhales, "that's why they're the best, you know? I have no idea what I'm talking about."
Through the mumbling and rambling, Kristin effortlessly latches onto the heart of Idina's words.
"But don't you think you can heal the loss of an old one with someone new?"
"No. I don't know. No. Maybe."
Kristin expects her to say more, but when Idina laces their fingers and then playfully unlaces them, Kristin gets side-tracked and forgets that thought even existed. "Hey," she whispers gently, tugging on a strand of hair at Idina's jaw.
Idina turns her wrist inward, covering Kristin's hand with her own. The gesture has always brought so much comfort, to both of them, and Idina sees it as one of those quirks that separates one relationship from another.
"You reckon I should get you one of these?" Kristin giggles, tugging on the bracelet ever so lightly, relieved when the tension's cut and Idina bursts into a beaming smile.
"You would?"
"Meh," she shrugs, "for Christmas...I'll probably think of something else. Then again, you don't need a bracelet to know I'm here," she leans in, then hesitantly places a kiss on Idina's cheek. When Idina doesn't pull away, she breathes in deeply and toys with the idea of leaving another. She blows a raspberry instead. She's desparate to cheer Idina up. "You okay?"
"Fine," Idina smiles at her, tickling the underside of her palm, "people change...come and go, I'm used to it. It's all part of the business, right?"
"I won't leave."
"You say that now..."
"I have everything here. You're here."
Idina scratches the back of her neck shyly.
"Besides, I'm pretty sure you'd kick my butt if I ever-"
"I would undoubtedly open up a can of whoop-ass, yeah," Idina smirks, leaning over to grab some pistachios from the coffee table. She feels Kristin's hand come to rest lightly on her lower back and startles, turning in her place. "Want one?"
Kristin opens her mouth wide like a little kid. It takes everything in Idina not to pinch her cheeks.
"I feel like I'm at a zoo or something."
"You did not just compare me to an animal!"
Idina cackles, "I'm kidding!"
"Oh you're kidding? Oh so that was a joke was it?" Kristin lunges towards her, smacking her arm repeatedly. Michelle halts her conversation with Eden to see what the fuss is about.
"Knock it off Menzel, you're making me look bad!"
"Oh shh," Idina nudges Michelle with her knee and wraps her arms around Kristin to stop her from throwing more punches. "I meant, you're like a cute...bambi or...a cute little...something..." she finishes lamely.
"Stop embarrassing yourself," Kristin touches her chest lightly to push her away.
"Sorry." Idina delivers this with her best pout and puppydog eyes, "I was aiming for endearing and sweet."
"You are sweet."
"I was just trying...to be charming...I think."
Kristin laughs. "I know. And what a fine job you did, putting your foot in your mouth," she gets up, throwing Idina a wink as she makes her way to Norbert and his circle of entertainment.
"Here," Michelle reaches over, pressing her index finger against Idina's jaw, shutting her mouth. "Control yourself."
"What?"
"What's going on with you?"
"What d'you mean 'what's going on?'"
"You two have been at it for the past two hours."
"At what?"
"Giggling, gossiping, touching."
Idina frowns. She picks at the material of her black jeans, "Friendship. Something you know nothing about," she cracks a small smile, patting Michelle's shoulder solemnly.
"Eden? Back-up please."
"Um..." Eden flushes, squirming in her seat. She feels a fearless loyalty towards Idina and would simultaneously sell her soul not to have her ass handed to her by Michelle. Not that she knows anything. "Look, it's started to snow!" she jumps out of her seat and gives Idina an apologetic look as she shuffles towards the nearest window, praying Kristin asks her to help bring out dessert. And soon.
"Kristin's hot, don't get me wrong, but-"
"'Chelle, what the fuck are you talking about?"
"Tone it down a little, that's all I'm sayin'," Michelle waves her hands in the air, playing the innocent victim as Idina shakes her head.
"Tone what down?"
"You know..."
And with that, Idina becomes the only one on the sofa, hand full of pistachios and no one to share them with. She reaches over to the hi-fi system and turns the music up a little.
It gets Kristin's attention immediately. She swivells around in Norbert's lap, giving Idina her most appreciative smile. That's my favourite song.
I know.
The feeling doesn't take effect for a few languid moments, but when her heart slams against her chest and she has to strain for air, she knows she's in deep shit.
**
+4