The Important Parts, Chapter 7
Chapter 7
After his discussion with Luke, Reid tried to do some paperwork in his office, but eventually admitted defeat and went back to his apartment in Chelsea. He felt like he was crawling out of his skin by the time he got home. Reid’s brain was trained to focus on one task at a time while blocking out all distractions. It was essential to the surgery he performed. At this moment, he felt certain that if he had to operate, he would not have been able to make the smallest of incisions for even a simple laparoscopic procedure. His ever-reliable brain could not concentrate on anything but the revelations from Luke Snyder.
When he walked in the door, he went to the refrigerator, grabbed a beer, and then sat down on his sofa. Reid usually could work through his emotions by labeling and categorizing them. This practice was his means for handling anything that troubled him. The process of sorting through his feelings and organizing them soothed his regimented personality. Once it was accomplished, he generally could think through them in a relatively efficient fashion. He knew that today his emotions were not going to be relieved so easily.
Reid’s could categorize what he was feeling into three parts: disbelief, anger, and, if he were honest with himself, relief. Oh, the first of those did not stem from thinking Luke Snyder was deceitful. He had immediately recognized Luke’s voice from his dreams when Luke told him his name was really Reid Oliver. He had tried to shove that thought aside later when logic dictated that there were too many impossibilities, none the least of which was that Reid Oliver was dead, for him to be the famed surgeon. However, Luke seemed honest and passionate, and when Reid had seen that photo, he knew the truth. For a man who liked routine and was generally confident in himself, the information was shocking. He would have been less surprised if Luke had dumped cold water on him right in the middle of a complex surgery.
The news was outrageous, beyond ridiculous. This story, after five long years, was the reason he had amnesia, the reason he had heard that voice in his sleep, and the reason he had been alone for so long.
Reid thought back to when he first tried to find out more about the man he once was before the accident. He had traveled to his supposed old neighborhood in Boston only to find no one who knew him. The building he had grown up in had been condemned several years ago and thus he could do no more than walk the streets by himself to see if anything helped his memory. He eventually walked around the harbor and it was there that images of his parents, his sister, and that other older man had come to him. In retrospect, he now realized that his childhood neighborhood was not the one he had believed.
He had then traveled to Indiana only to be told by the chief of staff there that he had been a loner and really had no friends. Reid remembered the man’s pitying expression and now thought the doctor deserved some sort of acting award. That man had probably never even seen Reid before that day.
After those two trips, he had not bothered going to Cambridge. While not in good enough physical condition to handle the trip, he also had known somehow that he would find no more there than he had found in Boston or Indiana. He learned to accept that he was alone. It was not comforting and did not make his recovery easier, but it helped focus him on the goal of returning to medicine. He was not the sort to curl up and wallow so what else was there to do but get back to work? Apparently, all he had ever been was a doctor.
Fierce anger, his second emotion, began burning in Reid because all that he had felt and all the time he had spent trying to figure out his identity was orchestrated by someone. His name was not Jude Mitchell. He did not go to Cambridge or live in Indiana. He was not alone five years ago if Luke was to be believed.
Five years ago, he would have welcomed someone who claimed any personal knowledge of him-whether it was a friend, family member, or lover. Anyone would have been better than no one at the time. Someone out there had done this-created this identity and forced Reid to build this life. For Reid to find out about it now, when so much time had passed that it little mattered, seemed to be fate’s little last joke.
Reid’s last emotion, relief, was the one he did not want to examine too hard. It was what made him sit down and cry when he first entered his apartment. Some little part of him still had needed to be claimed by another person. Reid knew it was illogical. He was happy with his life now and had accustomed himself to being on his own, but some tiny piece of him felt the tension he had been carrying for five years ease. He had not even realized that the tension had still been there.
Getting up, he paced back and forth; he could not eat despite opening the refrigerator door several times. He could not take his mind off of Luke’s story. Hell, my story! Was I so different before the accident? And how in the hell did I get hit by a train? At least, he was clearly a brilliant brain-surgeon beforehand. Not surprising, but nice to know.
Alec was supposed to come by the apartment, and despite the fact that Reid had rarely shared much of his life with the other man, he was inordinately glad to have someone to talk to tonight.
Around eight o’clock, Reid finally had that company. Using his key, Alec let himself in and found Reid sitting on the leather sofa holding a pillow. “Jude, are you okay?”
Reid was not going to hide what happened. “I don’t know. Something happened today.”
“Did you lose a patient?”
“No. Someone came to see me, someone who knew me from before my accident.”
“Really? Who?”
“His name is Luke Snyder. He told me that I am not really Jude Mitchell, but Reid Oliver-you know, the surgeon who died six years ago and they named that fancy neurology facility after him?”
Alec sank into the sofa next to Reid. He was completely floored. “That’s crazy! What did you say?”
Reid imparted the entire story and Alec listened in amazement. He absently rolled his shoulders when Reid finished; he was no more prepared for this than Reid.
Alec finally said, “So you’re telling me that after five years this guy you dated for four months just shows up out of nowhere, tells you your name and that you have this whole past, and what? I’m assuming the jerk wants to ride off into the sunset with you despite the fact you’ve been in a relationship with me for over a year. Are you sure he’s even telling the truth?”
Reid detected the jealousy lacing Alec’s words, which surprised him because he never thought Alec was particularly attached to him. “I think he is being honest. He showed me a picture of myself and I was clearly younger. Yes, he could have gotten it from anywhere, but I’ve never seen a picture of me from before 2011 so where would he find one if he didn’t know who I really was? I’ve looked all over the Internet for pictures of myself or ‘Reid Oliver’ and there aren’t any. His photo is real proof of his story. Plus, I just don’t see what the motivation would be to lie.”
Reid pulled his left ankle up on top of his right knee and began rolling the top of his sock between his fingers. “No, I don’t get the feeling he’s a jerk and he didn’t make any demands of me. He said he just wanted to help me. He didn’t mention wanting to pick back up with me or anything like that.” And really, is this what Alec thinks is the most important part in all of this-that some guy might be interested in me?
Alec affirmatively answered Reid’s thought with his next statement. “Don’t be naïve, Jude. This guy sounds like he’s probably built you up as the long lost love of his life. He’s going to want you back. What did he say about me?”
Reid shrugged his shoulders and said, “I didn’t have time to discuss my personal life of today. We were kind of focusing on the whole ‘I’m not who I think I am’ issue.” But, I doubt you’d be on my top five list of things I’d tell Luke about me. “And for the record, he never mentioned anything about wanting me back or being some sort of long lost love.”
“What does he look like?”
Gorgeous. Blonde. Dimples with an unbelievable smile. “He’s attractive. He has blonde hair. Maybe in his mid-twenties.” Come to think of it, Alec resembles Luke. Same hair, same eyes, similar mouth, both young-looking, about the same height and build. Luke is a little more attractive, but I certainly won’t tell Alec that. Please tell me that I just have a ‘type’ and I’m not dating Alec out of some sort of subconscious attachment to that kid.
“Wow, great description there, doc!” Alec exclaimed acerbically, smelling trouble. Reid was rarely reticent about the attractiveness of other men. “So…what are you going to do? Should I start calling you Reid?”
“I don’t exactly know, which I hate. Probably nothing. And no, not yet.”
Alec noticed the ‘yet’ and wondered if it were significant.
***
Luke had gone home that evening and cried harder than he had since the weeks following Reid’s supposed death. He was grateful, confused, angry, and experiencing what felt like a million emotions ripping through his heart. Having spent the last few years feeling no extreme emotions, he now could not suppress what felt overwhelming and uncontrollable.
He needed to talk to someone, but was not sure whom to trust. He wanted to tell Katie, but knew she would be on the first plane up here and might scare off Reid. He needed more of a plan before he could tell her. Anyone in his family might tell Lucinda who he could not count on at the moment. He had not ruled her out as possibly having something to do with Reid’s disappearance. She certainly had the money, the connections, and a past history of interfering in other people’s lives.
Finally, he settled on Casey.
After two rings, Casey answered, “Dude, how ya doing, bro? I haven’t heard from you in weeks.”
Luke laughed, feeling more lighthearted from just hearing his friend’s voice. “’Dude’ and ‘bro’ in one sentence? You must be in a good mood.”
“I am, I am. I met a new girl tonight.”
Before Casey could warm to the subject, Luke interjected, “Case, I have something important to tell you and you need to swear to me that it will stay between the two of us.”
Casey sobered up instantly, recognizing the serious tone of Luke’s voice. “Of course.”
Luke proceeded to tell Casey about the day’s events. He paced back and forth between his kitchen and his sofa in the living room while spoke. It was kind of satisfying at the end when Casey was just stunned silent. That almost never happened.
“You’re sure?” Casey asked. “Sorry dude, of course you’re sure. That’s incredible news! So, what do you want to do now? I don’t want to overstep, but I assume you want him back?”
“From the moment I saw him in that elevator, I wanted him. Case, you know I never stopped loving him, right? As much as I tried to move on, he was always it for me.”
“Yeah, Luke, I know. So have you told him?”
“No. Reid wouldn’t react well to someone he doesn’t remember declaring their undying love to him. He keeps his emotions too tightly bound for that sort of thing. I figured I would leave that discussion for another day, preferably one when he is gagged and bound to a chair. I really want to bring him to Oakdale though. I’m hoping he will agree to it tomorrow.”
“Do you think he will?”
“I don’t know, but I don’t have an optimistic feeling. I have to try though. My dad lost his memory for five years and he got it back. Who’s to say Reid can’t recover his?”
“And if he doesn’t bite, will you keep seeing him in New York?”
“Only for so long. Eventually I’ll find a way to get him to Oakdale if I have to. If nothing else, perhaps he can be blackmailed again,” he joked. Well, it was almost completely a joke anyway.
“So, are you really going to be able to stop yourself from telling Reid how you feel?”
“I don’t know.”
“Oh.”
Luke, throwing himself backward on to the couch, shifted the topic to one of the main reasons he had called his friend. He stared at the ceiling and confessed, “Casey, while I needed to talk to someone about this, I also need you to do me a favor. I need you to hire a private investigator in Oakdale. And you have to be careful. It can’t be anyone who has any ties to my family or the hospital. Someone orchestrated this and I need to find out who, but I don’t want to tip them off that I’m looking into it. I’m going to hire someone here in New York as well.”
“So you’re not playing Luke Snyder, P.I., this time, are you? If someone went to all this trouble, he could be dangerous.”
“Casey, it’s been like seven years since I did the whole amateur sleuth thing when you were arrested for Reg’s murder. Are you ever going to let me live that down?” He could hear his friend humming on the other end of the line. “Are you singing the ‘Inspector Gadget’ theme song? Real mature. I did help catch Mark, you know.” Luke sighed, ruffled his hair with his free hand, and said, “But, no, never again. I’ll leave figuring this mess out to the professionals as much as I can. I need to concentrate on Reid. I have no intention of running around Oakdale trying to figure out who wanted to ruin my life.”
“That’s the weird part though, isn’t it? If someone wanted to ruin your life, they’d just let Reid die, right? So why go through all the hassle of getting him a new identity?”
A/N I’m not entirely satisfied with the Reid-half of this chapter, but I figured I’d just go ahead with it anyway so I could at least post the first part of Luke and Reid’s lunch date later this week. This should be the last of the seriously depressing stuff for a little while. There’s drama and arguments to come, but I don’t think anything that makes us feel too awful for either of the boys.