thirty-first post; dark tower dream draft
"There was a little ghost."
Someone is reading a story. There's a soft voice, green eyes, thin hands, and pink lips. You try to watch all of it, but the lips, especially. They look just a little bit dry. Teeth slide over the bottom lip. Your stomach feels warm; your face feels hot.
"There was a little ghost," the story goes, "He lived in a small, dark place, underneath the ground. Sometimes, the sunlight would peek in through the window and laugh at him. The little ghost never laughed back."
"Miharu," you say, "Please, stop." That's right. The voice belongs to Miharu.
Miharu is beautiful.
"I can't, Yoite," Miharu says, all calm eyes and butterflies, and he smiles at you in a way that makes your stomach twist and melt at the same time. "Did you know that I can't ever touch you?"
You know. It hurts your heart.
"Once upon a time, there was a little ghost. Nobody loved him."
"Please, stop," you say again. There are tears rolling down your cheeks.
"But Yoite-kun," Chie says, and this time she's the one reading out of your book, "It's a true story. Didn't you know that? There was a little ghost and he only ever hurt people."
You stare at Chie and see her clearly. She has no eyes. "I can't look at you, Yoite-kun," she says. "I didn't want to look at you. See what happened?"
You have seen a man without his eyes before, thanks to your Leader, thanks to the things he's made you do; you can picture Chie's blood down her cheeks so easily, and you can see the scraped-away flesh in her sockets like crystal.
"Once upon a time, there was a little ghost. He was wrong and he died all alone."
This time it's Zack. Zack, who knows what you think, how you think, what hurts you and what makes you vulnerable. You realize you're shrinking. "You're wrong," you say, but you're still shrinking. Soon you're in Zack's hand, and he's smiling so gently, so soothingly, but he's squeezing you, wrapping his fingers around you and crushing your already weak bones.
"A little ghost," Miharu says, smiling that smile, making your stomach flutter and your thighs grow warm. "And he died all alone."
And you do.
Someone is reading a story. There's a soft voice, green eyes, thin hands, and pink lips. You try to watch all of it, but the lips, especially. They look just a little bit dry. Teeth slide over the bottom lip. Your stomach feels warm; your face feels hot.
"There was a little ghost," the story goes, "He lived in a small, dark place, underneath the ground. Sometimes, the sunlight would peek in through the window and laugh at him. The little ghost never laughed back."
"Miharu," you say, "Please, stop." That's right. The voice belongs to Miharu.
Miharu is beautiful.
"I can't, Yoite," Miharu says, all calm eyes and butterflies, and he smiles at you in a way that makes your stomach twist and melt at the same time. "Did you know that I can't ever touch you?"
You know. It hurts your heart.
"Once upon a time, there was a little ghost. Nobody loved him."
"Please, stop," you say again. There are tears rolling down your cheeks.
"But Yoite-kun," Chie says, and this time she's the one reading out of your book, "It's a true story. Didn't you know that? There was a little ghost and he only ever hurt people."
You stare at Chie and see her clearly. She has no eyes. "I can't look at you, Yoite-kun," she says. "I didn't want to look at you. See what happened?"
You have seen a man without his eyes before, thanks to your Leader, thanks to the things he's made you do; you can picture Chie's blood down her cheeks so easily, and you can see the scraped-away flesh in her sockets like crystal.
"Once upon a time, there was a little ghost. He was wrong and he died all alone."
This time it's Zack. Zack, who knows what you think, how you think, what hurts you and what makes you vulnerable. You realize you're shrinking. "You're wrong," you say, but you're still shrinking. Soon you're in Zack's hand, and he's smiling so gently, so soothingly, but he's squeezing you, wrapping his fingers around you and crushing your already weak bones.
"A little ghost," Miharu says, smiling that smile, making your stomach flutter and your thighs grow warm. "And he died all alone."
And you do.