Of late I have been breathing deep and feeling sharp pains where I'm assuming my heart would be - if, in defiance of all evidence to date, I actually had one. But instead of rightfully worrying about whether the pain is prelude-to-heart-attack pain or too-much-pizza-before-bedtime heartburn pain, I am outraged. Life shouldn't be this unsubtle. It shouldn't be
a dark and stormy night, sunsets shouldn't look like they were painted by overenthusiastic amateurs and a palette consisting solely of powder pinks and blues, and hearts shouldn't literally feel like they're breaking. I mean, holy sledgehammer over the head, Batman! Heart pain as a metaphor for heartbreak? Who woulda thunk!
How is anyone supposed to write anything good like this? Where is the delicacy? Where are the little things? Where are the fine strands of creative inspiration? Come on, throw me a bone here!
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