Because I want you too
This shall be the last of my frequent updates I think, I shall be preoccupied with Maree and mebbe visits from the siblings plus lovely Bristol summer life. I shall be distracted, distracted all summer I hope.
It was coming, but I really didnt expect it to happen. Its been really good hanging around days straight and its going to be so strange for it to abruptly stop for a long time. I couldnt say goodbye, I am really crap at that and I cant say no to things even when they are contrary to my best interest. I've been read and that means I have surrended. I really didnt ever want that to happen. The idea of surrender is really frightening but its happened now, which means I can get hurt.
But it's impossible to feel unhappy when someone is telling you all the things you weren't sure could be ever said again. When you are being given all you want how can you reject it because of the possible consequences. I can't, I dont have the willpower.
I have hardly slept, but I am not tired. I have to make a decision that I didnt think I would have to make, I am not sure what to do. I never thought, I would think of forsaking what I wanted for someone else, that I would give up my wants and desires to fufill someone elses. I dont think it is deserved and I dont think it should have been asked of me. But I am considering, I want to wake up like that everyday too, but I want other things. I am suspended now, so maybe you should feel how it is to reciprocate.
I'm nearly with you.
It was coming, but I really didnt expect it to happen. Its been really good hanging around days straight and its going to be so strange for it to abruptly stop for a long time. I couldnt say goodbye, I am really crap at that and I cant say no to things even when they are contrary to my best interest. I've been read and that means I have surrended. I really didnt ever want that to happen. The idea of surrender is really frightening but its happened now, which means I can get hurt.
But it's impossible to feel unhappy when someone is telling you all the things you weren't sure could be ever said again. When you are being given all you want how can you reject it because of the possible consequences. I can't, I dont have the willpower.
I have hardly slept, but I am not tired. I have to make a decision that I didnt think I would have to make, I am not sure what to do. I never thought, I would think of forsaking what I wanted for someone else, that I would give up my wants and desires to fufill someone elses. I dont think it is deserved and I dont think it should have been asked of me. But I am considering, I want to wake up like that everyday too, but I want other things. I am suspended now, so maybe you should feel how it is to reciprocate.
I'm nearly with you.