Once again hanging onto the edge Ive been pushed too close to.
Well lets see... shit was perfect for a long while but has slowly but surely started coming undone... being pushed too close to that edge once again but this time i dont see any ledges to catch back on to if i fall this time... i finally am starring at the summit of this relationship. I have noticed that i have slowly but surely given little by little, myself, in general... My mood for the day is all based upon how she feels and acts... My decissions are mainly decided for me. I find it quite depressing how this is almost like a drug or alcohol... my tollerance for it has been growing since the beginning. I am at the point where i can take a few weeks of bullshit before i finally lose it... Does anyone else think that is quite sad that in a sense I've built up a tollerance??? If i can always be around for you whether it be just needing someone to talk to or just to see, someone to just go places for no real reason but becuz you wanted to or mentioned it once, someone to try and keep you nothing less than happy loved and cared for... yet will me asking for a talk to explain my limits be too much to handle or will you listen and try and understand that it's to try and help us more than you get the wrong idea and become mad at it. Will you see and attempt to know where i draw the line? The only thing i can really think to say now is what will you decide? Just calmly and simply call it quits for good... or attempt to perfect this until it suits us both happily? I find it completely sad that i am confused and lost about answering my own questions... I have given all my power to you and wished for you to use it in the best possible way.. but it seems that just like a blast from the past... you have taken it to the extreme. So can you handle me still or have i become too much of a burden??? I guess sure enough we will figure all these questions out... I hope for the best... Lets see what mood is picked out for me tomorrow... goodnight.