ANGST-INDUCING MATERIAL AHEAD YOU ARE WARNED.

[petitio]

Bigass AP photos from the conference introducing Tim Hudson for Atlanta today. (1, 2; thanks to ghostrunner for the heads-up.)

Comments

[candle_beck]

hi. tell you a story about how i have been fucking around on the computer since, like, noon, and didn't start writing this fucking paper until midnight. what is WITH that.

i thought you should know, first, that at 2:30 am, on the THREE FUCKING DAYS LATE paper, i got seven pages done and am now taking a half-hour break to read popslash and stick hot pokers in my eyes, because NO. and NO. and then, later? NO SOME MORE.

that shirt, man, first of all. but mainly, i don't care. why does everyone look better in green and gold? he will never be that hot again. i apologize, but no one's hot in a braves uniform. no one. he does not belong there. i think i am somehow reverting into denial after already coming to terms with it yesterday?

i cannot deal, man. not his fault and everything, and i suppose i have to respect your loyalty to him and the fact that all this pain and whatnot is suddenly making him the deepest redneck below the mason-dixon, but i have this thing where if you break my heart, you hear about it for the rest of time.

YOU WILL HEAR ABOUT FOR THE REST OF TIME, TIM HUDSON. because i can't hate billy beane because he still holds my future happiness in his hands. and i can't hate the $60 million payroll, because, you know, that's like an abstract concept. but i can hate you and your FUCKING BRAVES HAT, HUDDY, and your FUCKING UGLY SHIRT, and maybe if i coulda heard his voice crack i would not be like this, but i just.

i'm thinking about opening day and the ads at the coliseum and i'm already missing the fuck out of him.

[candle_beck]

fuckin done motherfucker! arrrrrrrrrrrgh.

man. i am really tired.

[petitio]

It is going to take years, I think. Keri grew up with a picture of Andy Pettitte in her, like, Trapper Keeper and used to write MASH notes where three of the name slots were taken by Andy Pettitte and the last one was Paul O'Neill, and she still hasn't forgiven Tratior Andy. It's more than a year later, and if you say "Pettitte" to her in an IM conversation, it's like you're asking for her to type back AND MAY HIS DICK FALL RIGHT OFF.

My devotion to Hudson -- I can't help it. For one thing, my attachment is to him, as the player, I guess, and less to the team. Also, Tim is so, so, so, so sad at this press conference. So sad.

I mean, you have a Discman, don't you? I'm going to, like, rip the audio stream and burn it to CD so you can have 22 minutes of him struggling and halting through questions like, "Are you glad to be in Atlanta?"

[petitio]

I feel compelled to tell you that the Spike Video Game Awards are on right now. Right now, Ludacris is doing the lamest performance I have ever seen on TV in my entire life, but hey, Rookie is supposed to be on later to present best first person gmae or whatever. He's supposed to look rilly amazingly hot in his black shirt and Diesel jeans.

And now, Redman is continuing the lameassery. Please bring Bobby out soon.

[candle_beck]

yeah i've seen pictures of the awards. he . . . really quite does. and my boy's there for some reason too? and the picture of him was this lil blurry thumbnail and you had to, like, register to see the bigger version, and i was like, fuck dat ho! but anyway, it looked like zito was wearing some godawful mustard-colored shirt with matching tie and i am deathly eager to see if that was a true story, so if you caught his part, you must let me know.

and HELLO! i would be SO DOWN FOR AN AUDIO CD. you would be the champ of my broken broken heart. alex was asking if someone was maybe making mp3s and i was all, i could put it on my ipod! but then i had a vision of it coming up on shuffle while i'm walking around, and having to just fall on the sidewalk and bawl uncontrollably. but maaaan. you could have my firstborn.

i don't know how long it's gonna take me to get over this. when jeffkent left sanfran, i was pretty upset, but i dunno, my relationship with huddy is more complicated than my relationship wiht jk ever was. jk doesn't really have the freakability factor, porn 'stache or not.

i feel like a victim of the marketing department. like, weird part of my mind where the three of them have to be together for the good of mankind. and, like, the guys themselves totally encouraged that with all their cuddling and puppy shenanigans and now it's like brothers getting torn apart or something equally melodramatic. stupid marketing department.