I haven't updated in a month and a half so...
Very ranty:
I don't want to write a paper on Thucydides and The Bible. I don't get enough sleep. I spent like 4 hours doing mock trial work because I didn't want to write this paper. I never hang out with my floormates anymore because I'm obsessed with and dating my best friend. But that's kind of cool. I have mock in half an hour but I have to get this paper in by 3:00 and it's not going to happen, but classes are over, but I have a final for this class on Friday and I'm not prepared and it's sort of leading me to freak out because I have to have to have to do really well on this final or else I'm screwed. I couldn't be an editor for the Spectator because I don't have anytime and next semester I really really really want to get back into singing and musical theatre because I've been on hiatus from music since June and I miss so much and I can't understand why I'm not doing what I love the most while I'm here instead of burying myself into a myriad of other random things. I need more focus. I really have to do better next semester because I feel like I'm lacking balance and I really can't make it here. I've developed such a high caffeine tolerance that I can't wake up without at least three cups per day. I feel like I'm doing a bad job of making something out of myself over here and I miss the big-fish-in-a-small-pond feeling I had in Chappaqua. Good luck to all of my friends who are hearing back about their early decisions from colleges, I understand what a stressful time it is and you think it can't get worse, but it can. I should have learned something from high school or Plato or whomever about excess, but really, I've learned nothing and now I'm going through this crisis about what to do with myself. Why couldn't I be one of the engineering kids? They know what they love more than I do and they can deal with it, but I've always been so bad with choices... If I can't choose between pizza and chinese, how am I supposed to choose really important shit, like what I'm going to do with my life. I have a really focused plan, but I'm constantly doubting myself and maybe I'm not good enough and sometimes I feel like I can't handle it and it doesn't help that my computer is broken and won't get fixed until Wednesday when I really need it now. Distract me. Please.
I don't want to write a paper on Thucydides and The Bible. I don't get enough sleep. I spent like 4 hours doing mock trial work because I didn't want to write this paper. I never hang out with my floormates anymore because I'm obsessed with and dating my best friend. But that's kind of cool. I have mock in half an hour but I have to get this paper in by 3:00 and it's not going to happen, but classes are over, but I have a final for this class on Friday and I'm not prepared and it's sort of leading me to freak out because I have to have to have to do really well on this final or else I'm screwed. I couldn't be an editor for the Spectator because I don't have anytime and next semester I really really really want to get back into singing and musical theatre because I've been on hiatus from music since June and I miss so much and I can't understand why I'm not doing what I love the most while I'm here instead of burying myself into a myriad of other random things. I need more focus. I really have to do better next semester because I feel like I'm lacking balance and I really can't make it here. I've developed such a high caffeine tolerance that I can't wake up without at least three cups per day. I feel like I'm doing a bad job of making something out of myself over here and I miss the big-fish-in-a-small-pond feeling I had in Chappaqua. Good luck to all of my friends who are hearing back about their early decisions from colleges, I understand what a stressful time it is and you think it can't get worse, but it can. I should have learned something from high school or Plato or whomever about excess, but really, I've learned nothing and now I'm going through this crisis about what to do with myself. Why couldn't I be one of the engineering kids? They know what they love more than I do and they can deal with it, but I've always been so bad with choices... If I can't choose between pizza and chinese, how am I supposed to choose really important shit, like what I'm going to do with my life. I have a really focused plan, but I'm constantly doubting myself and maybe I'm not good enough and sometimes I feel like I can't handle it and it doesn't help that my computer is broken and won't get fixed until Wednesday when I really need it now. Distract me. Please.