Rawhide Chapter 8
Title: Rawhide
Author: PetiteMiel
Pairing: Jack/Ennis
Rating: NC-17(eventually)
Warning: Contains harsh language, violence, m/m sexual encounters.
Disclaimer: All characters from Brokeback Mountain belong to Ann Proulx. I am just borrowing them and make no money from their use. No copyright infringement is intended. All other characters are mine.
Summary: Au!Au. This story takes place in 1867. Ennis is an eighteen year old wrangler at the Triple T Ranch in Texas where Jack, a sixteen year old runaway is hired for the upcoming cattle drive to Montana.
AN:This is the first time I've written BBM fanfic. The story is un beta'd so all errors are mine.
Additional AN: Sorry this chapter is a bit shorter then most I've done in the past but it was unavoidable.
Arlene, Texas
Spring, 1867
Ennis stumbled away from the storage shed tripping over the woodpile as he went but managing somehow to stay on his feet. He headed around the corner of the bunkhouse, ignoring Barnes’ curious stare and took off running needing to get as far away from Jack as he could. He retreated to the safety of the stable slamming the door shut behind him, as if that could keep his feelings at bay.
He had told himself that morning that he had to control it, that he had to resist it but how did he resist this? How did he control something that could grab hold of him and fill him with such a hunger, such a need? How did he resist Jack Twist?
Pressing his forehead against the rough wood he took several heaving breaths trying to calm himself but it did little good. He turned around, his whole body shaking and he felt like his heart might explode it was beating so fast. He leaned his head back closing his eyes but opened them just as quickly, the image of Jack standing naked before him filling his mind.
He pushed away from the door wiping his sweaty palms against his thighs as he paced toward the back of the building trying to figure out what to do. Jack had seen him looking and there was no way he could pretend he wasn’t. There was no way he could pretend he hadn’t wanted what he’d been looking at either, no way to ignore it or explain it away.
He had wanted to touch him, to run his hands over that smooth skin, to feel it under his fingertips, warm and wet and perfect. He had wanted to take him, to press his flesh to Jack’s; into Jack’s and that was something he didn’t know how to control.
“Ennis.”
The sound of Jack’s voice spun him around and he stared at him for a second seeing the confusion and concern in his face but it was too much for Ennis and he turned away.
“Jack, ya need to not be in here right now.”
“Ennis.”
“Jack, please!”
“Ennis ya didn’t do nothin’ wrong. Hell, it was just an accident ya didn’t mean to see me there.”
“Jack, just git out a here. I…I can’t…this can’t happen. I ain’t…just…please…” He trailed off coming to stand in front of an empty stall, his hands gripping the gate, knuckles white.
Jack stared at him for a moment wanting to quell the fear he sensed in him, wanting to make things right. He stepped closer reaching out a hand and laying it gently on Ennis’ shoulder but Ennis flinched away and Jack pulled his hand back as if he’d been burned.
“Ennis, it’s alright.”
“It ain’t.” He said his voice breaking.
“Ennis…ya was just lookin’. Ain’t no harm in lookin’.”
Ennis turned around grabbing him by the shoulders pushing him hard against the wall holding him there, his eyes narrowed and full of pain.
“Don’t ya understand I wanted to do more then look, Jack! I wanted…I wanted to…” His jaw clenched and he lowered his head.
“I wanted somethin’ I ain’t supposed to have.”
“Ya can have it Ennis.” Jack replied his voice just above a whisper.
Ennis looked up letting go of him, shaking his head as he backed away.
“Ya don’t know what your sayin’.”
“I do. I like ya Ennis and…and I…I want…” He sighed, looking around helpless, words failing him then he stepped forward reaching out trying to touch Ennis to show him what he wanted instead but Ennis moved away, his eyes wild.
“Naw. Ya need to git out of here. We can’t be doin’ that.”
“Ennis.”
“I mean it Jack. Ya need to just…it ain’t safe… just leave me be.”
“What?”
“Just stay away from me.”
“Ennis don’t.”
“I think it’s best we don’t…that we ain’t…”
“Ain’t what?” Jack paused. “Ain’t friends no more?”
Ennis wouldn’t look at him he just stared at the ground then nodded his head, hating himself for what he was doing.
Jack swallowed hard as he stared back at him silently begging him to change his mind but Ennis just turned away instead.
“Yeah…all right.” Jack said his voice hollow.
The words hung in the air between them and Jack felt like he couldn’t breath, his lungs burning with the effort and then he turned and without another word he walked away.
The slamming of the door was like a death knoll and Ennis fell to his knees, feeling as if his life was ebbing away from him. A single sorrow filled sob echoed through the room as his head fell forward resting against Dakota’s stall then he reached out clawing at the wood trying to keep from falling into the dark abyss that threatened to swallow him.
A sudden anger welled up inside him then and he struck the wall in front of him again and again, Dakota flinching each time as if he was being whipped. The splintered wood bit into Ennis’ hands, blood staining everything he touched then he sat back his anger finally spent. He started to climb to his feet but his stomach clenched and he collapsed on his hands and knees retching as if trying to expel the misery that now filled his soul.
Jack wandered out into the compound not sure what to do or where to go, his body numb and his head spinning. His feet moved more out of habit then any conscious thought on his part and in minutes he found himself approaching the bunkhouse but the sound of cheerful voices drove him on toward the shed.
When he came around the corner he leaned against the wall staring into the fire he had left unattended in his rush to follow Ennis. The flames gutted the wood turning it to ash and he couldn’t help feeling the same had been done to him.
Tears welled up in his eyes but he shook them away, wiping his face with the back of his hand. He wanted to go back to the stable and make Ennis listen, make him understand but he had seen the look in Ennis’ eyes and he knew that would do him no good. Ennis had made his choice and Jack wasn’t it.
Taking a shaky breath he pulled his arms in around his slender frame shivering as if the heat from the fire had suddenly turned cold. His back slid against the wall as he sat down, pulling his legs up and lowering his head to his knees, wondering what he had done wrong and why it had cost him the only real friend he had ever had.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Jack. Jack wake up.”
“What?” He asked looking up to find Charlie’s stern face staring down at him.
“What the Hell ya doin’ out here boy?”
Jack looked around confused, his head feeling like it was full of rags then he climbed to his feet using the wall for support.
“Nothin’.”
“Nothin’ huh? Well, ya missed supper.”
Jack didn’t respond and Charlie looked at him curiously then continued.
“I left some on the stove though if ya want to warm it up.”
“I ain’t hungry.”
At this quiet declaration Charlie raised an eyebrow certain something must be wrong if the boy’s appetite was gone. He didn’t question him about it though knowing it was most likely none of his business and not something Jack would share in any case.
“Suit yourself. Ya best git on to bed then. Gotta be up early tomorrow. I’ll clean up back here.” Charlie added looking at the full washtub and the dying fire.
Jack didn’t protest just turned away heading for the bunkhouse, the dim light of the stars the only thing to light his way but when he entered it was the oil lamp that guided him to his bunk. He didn’t undress just pulled off his boots and lay on the bed trying not to think about the fact that the bunk beside him was empty. Then he rolled toward the wall slipping his hand beneath the pillow and clutching the woodcarving to his chest, the only part of Ennis that was still his.
TBC
Author: PetiteMiel
Pairing: Jack/Ennis
Rating: NC-17(eventually)
Warning: Contains harsh language, violence, m/m sexual encounters.
Disclaimer: All characters from Brokeback Mountain belong to Ann Proulx. I am just borrowing them and make no money from their use. No copyright infringement is intended. All other characters are mine.
Summary: Au!Au. This story takes place in 1867. Ennis is an eighteen year old wrangler at the Triple T Ranch in Texas where Jack, a sixteen year old runaway is hired for the upcoming cattle drive to Montana.
AN:This is the first time I've written BBM fanfic. The story is un beta'd so all errors are mine.
Additional AN: Sorry this chapter is a bit shorter then most I've done in the past but it was unavoidable.
Arlene, Texas
Spring, 1867
Ennis stumbled away from the storage shed tripping over the woodpile as he went but managing somehow to stay on his feet. He headed around the corner of the bunkhouse, ignoring Barnes’ curious stare and took off running needing to get as far away from Jack as he could. He retreated to the safety of the stable slamming the door shut behind him, as if that could keep his feelings at bay.
He had told himself that morning that he had to control it, that he had to resist it but how did he resist this? How did he control something that could grab hold of him and fill him with such a hunger, such a need? How did he resist Jack Twist?
Pressing his forehead against the rough wood he took several heaving breaths trying to calm himself but it did little good. He turned around, his whole body shaking and he felt like his heart might explode it was beating so fast. He leaned his head back closing his eyes but opened them just as quickly, the image of Jack standing naked before him filling his mind.
He pushed away from the door wiping his sweaty palms against his thighs as he paced toward the back of the building trying to figure out what to do. Jack had seen him looking and there was no way he could pretend he wasn’t. There was no way he could pretend he hadn’t wanted what he’d been looking at either, no way to ignore it or explain it away.
He had wanted to touch him, to run his hands over that smooth skin, to feel it under his fingertips, warm and wet and perfect. He had wanted to take him, to press his flesh to Jack’s; into Jack’s and that was something he didn’t know how to control.
“Ennis.”
The sound of Jack’s voice spun him around and he stared at him for a second seeing the confusion and concern in his face but it was too much for Ennis and he turned away.
“Jack, ya need to not be in here right now.”
“Ennis.”
“Jack, please!”
“Ennis ya didn’t do nothin’ wrong. Hell, it was just an accident ya didn’t mean to see me there.”
“Jack, just git out a here. I…I can’t…this can’t happen. I ain’t…just…please…” He trailed off coming to stand in front of an empty stall, his hands gripping the gate, knuckles white.
Jack stared at him for a moment wanting to quell the fear he sensed in him, wanting to make things right. He stepped closer reaching out a hand and laying it gently on Ennis’ shoulder but Ennis flinched away and Jack pulled his hand back as if he’d been burned.
“Ennis, it’s alright.”
“It ain’t.” He said his voice breaking.
“Ennis…ya was just lookin’. Ain’t no harm in lookin’.”
Ennis turned around grabbing him by the shoulders pushing him hard against the wall holding him there, his eyes narrowed and full of pain.
“Don’t ya understand I wanted to do more then look, Jack! I wanted…I wanted to…” His jaw clenched and he lowered his head.
“I wanted somethin’ I ain’t supposed to have.”
“Ya can have it Ennis.” Jack replied his voice just above a whisper.
Ennis looked up letting go of him, shaking his head as he backed away.
“Ya don’t know what your sayin’.”
“I do. I like ya Ennis and…and I…I want…” He sighed, looking around helpless, words failing him then he stepped forward reaching out trying to touch Ennis to show him what he wanted instead but Ennis moved away, his eyes wild.
“Naw. Ya need to git out of here. We can’t be doin’ that.”
“Ennis.”
“I mean it Jack. Ya need to just…it ain’t safe… just leave me be.”
“What?”
“Just stay away from me.”
“Ennis don’t.”
“I think it’s best we don’t…that we ain’t…”
“Ain’t what?” Jack paused. “Ain’t friends no more?”
Ennis wouldn’t look at him he just stared at the ground then nodded his head, hating himself for what he was doing.
Jack swallowed hard as he stared back at him silently begging him to change his mind but Ennis just turned away instead.
“Yeah…all right.” Jack said his voice hollow.
The words hung in the air between them and Jack felt like he couldn’t breath, his lungs burning with the effort and then he turned and without another word he walked away.
The slamming of the door was like a death knoll and Ennis fell to his knees, feeling as if his life was ebbing away from him. A single sorrow filled sob echoed through the room as his head fell forward resting against Dakota’s stall then he reached out clawing at the wood trying to keep from falling into the dark abyss that threatened to swallow him.
A sudden anger welled up inside him then and he struck the wall in front of him again and again, Dakota flinching each time as if he was being whipped. The splintered wood bit into Ennis’ hands, blood staining everything he touched then he sat back his anger finally spent. He started to climb to his feet but his stomach clenched and he collapsed on his hands and knees retching as if trying to expel the misery that now filled his soul.
Jack wandered out into the compound not sure what to do or where to go, his body numb and his head spinning. His feet moved more out of habit then any conscious thought on his part and in minutes he found himself approaching the bunkhouse but the sound of cheerful voices drove him on toward the shed.
When he came around the corner he leaned against the wall staring into the fire he had left unattended in his rush to follow Ennis. The flames gutted the wood turning it to ash and he couldn’t help feeling the same had been done to him.
Tears welled up in his eyes but he shook them away, wiping his face with the back of his hand. He wanted to go back to the stable and make Ennis listen, make him understand but he had seen the look in Ennis’ eyes and he knew that would do him no good. Ennis had made his choice and Jack wasn’t it.
Taking a shaky breath he pulled his arms in around his slender frame shivering as if the heat from the fire had suddenly turned cold. His back slid against the wall as he sat down, pulling his legs up and lowering his head to his knees, wondering what he had done wrong and why it had cost him the only real friend he had ever had.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Jack. Jack wake up.”
“What?” He asked looking up to find Charlie’s stern face staring down at him.
“What the Hell ya doin’ out here boy?”
Jack looked around confused, his head feeling like it was full of rags then he climbed to his feet using the wall for support.
“Nothin’.”
“Nothin’ huh? Well, ya missed supper.”
Jack didn’t respond and Charlie looked at him curiously then continued.
“I left some on the stove though if ya want to warm it up.”
“I ain’t hungry.”
At this quiet declaration Charlie raised an eyebrow certain something must be wrong if the boy’s appetite was gone. He didn’t question him about it though knowing it was most likely none of his business and not something Jack would share in any case.
“Suit yourself. Ya best git on to bed then. Gotta be up early tomorrow. I’ll clean up back here.” Charlie added looking at the full washtub and the dying fire.
Jack didn’t protest just turned away heading for the bunkhouse, the dim light of the stars the only thing to light his way but when he entered it was the oil lamp that guided him to his bunk. He didn’t undress just pulled off his boots and lay on the bed trying not to think about the fact that the bunk beside him was empty. Then he rolled toward the wall slipping his hand beneath the pillow and clutching the woodcarving to his chest, the only part of Ennis that was still his.
TBC