(no subject)
I dont understand people. Maybe I'm just not meant for this world...atleast this part of the world...I have an entirely different mind set than most people. I dont think I'm a psycho...but maybe I am. It seems like no matter what I do..its always wrong. So I hung out with Dustin this weekend. He invited me over. He initiated conversation. I was cool. I just chilled and had fun. I didnt act attatched or needy or ex girlfriendy.Atleast I dont think I did.I didnt think I acted psycho. I just hung out with an old friend and had fun. No biggee right... So I come home...Change up my profile just like I always do. I put in the quote "You never really get over your first" I guess that wasnt a good idea. It freaked Dustin out according to his SAE bud. Now he thinks I'm too attatched and up his ass or something. What the heck...I just posted a quote that in reality wasnt all about him. I dont want anything with him. I just wanted to hang out. I just wanted him as a long distance FRIEND! I dont want to hate him and resent him for the rest of my life. I dont think that is healthy or happy. So somehow I'm labeled a psycho again...Dustin is back to being afraid of me. U have got to love my life. I know I sure do...I'm thinking its really about that time to just give up on people completely. Actually I think I am... If anyone wants to talk to me and doesnt think I'm a complete nut case...well everyone knows how to get a hold of me. This is getting really old and really confusing. How did this all happen? Oh wait I remember...I let boys into my life and poof just like that everything came to a dramatic crashing hault. So over it... My name is Christie. I dont want a relationship. I stay away from them. Its much easier that way. Back to the old Christie ways of being the happy bubbly prude with no one close enough to hurt her. Life is so much easier that way and I'm never labeled a psycho. I'm still pissed. I just wanted to rekindle a friendship with a wonderful person. I guess the world wasnt ready for that. I guess I'm not ready for that. And for the record you never do get over your first...What the heck does get over really mean? Forget. Well I dont really think I'm going to forget the first of important times. Thats just the way it. Important life changing things are well remembered. Get over? What does it really mean? Done with wanting to be in a relationship with a person or done with wanting a situation to be the way it was... Well if thats the definition then I am over it. I am. Confusing Confusing Confusing... I need to hurry up and save some money and move to the West Coast. Maybe things are different there... Gosh Darnit! People drive me nuts just nuts I tell ya! Dont have your friends answer for you or your actions. Just be honest and up front with people. Lay it all out on the table out in the open so everyone is on the same page and no one is confused or lost. Come on now...is that really so hard. Gosh darnit boys ruined everything for me! So over them...