I'm back..
Well it definitely has been a while since I updated this journal! I remember when I used to write in it everyday pouring out my heart and soul...well my boy drama. This journal has been there through my very first break up to my last break up...Kinda funny...Tj and Tara couldnt handle my constant complex with Dustin...So they opened me up this new wonderful world of a Live Journal! whoooooooo...I've gone back and I've read every single entry...Its really interesting to see how my life was than and how it is now. Boys are still something very new to me. I never dated...I never had a relationship...Dustin was really my first boyfriend. Not much of a relationship though...Cedar Point relationships arent real...They really arent...I think if I had kept my head on straight and given Dustin and I time to cool off we would have gotten back together or ended up being great friends while I was in Akron...but I rebounded from him on to a person that didnt deserve me...he didnt deserve my time...I wasted alot of my life on him and so much money...I look back at living in Akron and it could have been something great but it wasnt. I let myself go. I literally became an alchololic druggie who did nothing but live for some stupid boy who took full advantage...I'm desperate to feel compassion and I so want to be wanted...Moving back home was the best descision I have made. My mind is finally clear and I'm back on track to the life I want to lead...Slowly but surely things will work out in my favor. I'm not looking for love anymore. I'm going to let it find me. But this time its Dustin standards or higher...I'm not all about the drunken idiots who have no money and have no sense of what caring for a person is. I deserve someone great who will take care of me the way I take care of others. I'm happy, I'm bubbly, I'm crazy...and if you dont like that well hit the road jack! Hopefully some rockstar will find me soon and sweep me off my feet...haha Life at home is pretty boring for the most part...school/home..and I have no friends in my area. Everyone is in Ohio or away at school somewhere. But its ok...I get alot of time to myself. Being alone really can be a good thing. It gives you a chance to think and learn about yourself. I'm finally discovering who Christie really is... I still am in Ohio all the time. I cant stay in one place. I hate driving yet I drive hundreds of miles every week. I'm still crazy...haha. Live shows is one of my weaknesses...I love them. I really do... Music has really become my life. I've always loved music but now more than ever...Its my therapy...No matter what mood I'm in I can find a song to go with it and just make me feel...I like this whole new emo epidemic that has hit the scene. I'm an emotional person and being able to listen songs and kind of use them as a mourning tool is quite cool. I swear so many songs are written just for me! haha! Speaking of writing...I've been doing alot of that. U guys wouldnt believe it. Journal after journal of just poems and lyrics and anything that I can come up with... Its nice to have a place to kind of put out all my built up emotions. Its much better to just write things and listen to things and free myself of built up angst. It makes me much less of an over dramatic drama queen. But I'll always be a drama queen. I'm very dramatic. I dont think thats a bad thing. Thats just part of me... I miss my friends. The Akron bunch werent really good friends to me but it was nice having people around. I miss people when I'm here in Michigan. But its all good...I just drive a few hundred miles and there are smiling faces waiting for me. I always can get online and talk to the coolest friends I have! I've been talking to Dustin again lately. Its nice...He is a great guy and there is just something about him...Maybe we werent meant to be together forever like I dreamed hahaha...but he definitely is someone I hope to keep in my life as a wonderful friend. I can talk to him about anything...even the crazy stuff that no one else wants to hear about! Like my new piercing I'm going to get ASAP! I did the lip, the tongue, etc... I want something differnt! Something that not alot of people have! SOmething extreme.....Well we all know that one of my greatest assets is my boobs! Come on now 36 Ds are pretty darn nice. At times I must say my cleavage is orgasmic hahahaha so why not acentuate it...I'm going to get a cleavage/sternum surface piercing! U can check it out on my AIM profile...I absolutely love it and cant wait!! Yeah yeah yeah I'm crazy! Well you all love me anyways!! So yeah I've pretty much just been babbling...just whatever comes to mind I type...Over all I just wanted to update and let people know that I'm happy and life has its up and downs but its really the downs that make you realize how wonderful the ups are. I had to hit rock bottom for a while in order to realize what life is about...its about me...being happy... I love you all! You guys totally rock!! Mwah