What's Wrong With Monogamy

[petite_lambda]

For most poly people out there, there's really nothing wrong with monogamy. Both mono and poly are valid relationship models, and everyone chooses the one which best fits them. I really wish I could wholeheartedly agree with this... however, I must admit that monogamy clashes with my ethics. And here's why:

It makes a person feel guilty about having

Comments

Re: I Agree on some and disagree on others...

[petite_lambda]

what people do in their own private life as consenting adults, is their own business and should not concern anyone else as long as no one gets hurt
You must have guessed that if I put words in your mouth, that probably means I have an answer prepared :-)
And, btw, italics are just usual html tags -- they work here.

I have two points:
Firstly, some beliefs and behavior can still clash with my ethics, even if they are a personal decision that does not concern anyone else. There are two types of ethical disagreements:
(a) I believe something is BAD, and the other person believes it is GOOD
(b) I believe something is GOOD, and the other person believes it is BAD
Monogamy, for me, falls in the second category -- which is much, MUCH less severe than the first. As I said, I'm extremely tolerant to such things! All behavior that harms others (or violates their freedom) falls into the first category. It's not in the same league! But still -- a slight clash exists, and it's worth pointing out.

I'll give you another example of a "type (b)" clash. Imagine a woman who joins a religious sect. She adopts the belief that any criticism or doubt of her religion is from Satan... any time she has doubts in her heart, she must repent and beg the Lord for forgiveness. She accepts that curiosity is from Satan, too -- that it's her duty to do what the elders tell, and not use her own mind. Imagine that she actually believes this, and she indeed does what she's told, and tries to cast away "bad thoughts" if they appear.
She doesn't hurt anyone but herself. Moreover, as is usually the case with cult members, she claims to be very happy... So, would you say that her beliefs are in any way unethical?
I would! I believe that critical thinking and reliance on our own mind are GOOD; not just GOOD, but probably the most important things we have in this life. And any doctrine that calls them BAD is unethical.

Same thing with monogamy: I say love is GOOD, monogamy says (in some situations) that love is BAD. A "type (b)" ethics clash.

[continued...]

With your second example i agree...

[petite_lambda]

People who let others tell them how to live and think, are idiots who hurt themselves and they actually also hurt others who knew them before the change. Those are usually people who are afraid to take a responsibility on their own life and actions, and prefer to let some idiot tell them how they should live.

Unfortunately most people are like that, cause that's how we always get raised. But it will change during time, as religious is losing it's grasp on new generations. The only "new" generation suffering from this idioticy, are those who get raised into it but even they evolve as they are surrounded by real life.

Disagree with you completely and utterly regarding monogamy, it's in no way saying that LOVE is BAD! it says LOVE is AMAZING and it should be respected and honored. It says that when you reduce it's essence and meaning, then it's no longer love, but lust. Emotions that come from the groin and not from the heart.

[petite_lambda]

I answered this here -- it's the same topic, let's keep it in one thread :-)