'Em Southern Parts . . .
So. I'm back from South Carolina. It was an epic journey filled with hicks, fast food, sun 'n fun, and Angel. Since I just got back and need to re-connect with the world, I'm gonna now describe my epic journey in immense detail. (You know something's wrong with you when the first thing you do after being in a car for ten hours (damn you, traffic) is think to yourself: Man, I haven't been on the internet in over four days! I have no life! Must . . . go . . . online . . . )
Alright. So Friday night I charge the hell outta my iPod (I was having a total Mikey moment. I clearly remember thinking: "I'm on half-a-fucking battery!") collapse on the sofa and fall asleep. Two hours later I'm awoken by my dearest mother screaming at the top of her lungs because nobody was ready yet. I spent the next quarter of the hour chasing the cat while throwing stuff into my backpack, and another quarter of an hour unplugging all electrical appliances. (Because my mother was paranoid that the house would get struck my lightning and the toaster would be the cause.)
By nine 'o clock, we were on the highway. For the first hour I was content listening to my iPod, the second I was content with watching videos on my iPod, the third I was content playing solitare on my iPod (you see the pattern?) but by one 'o clock my ears were numb so I somehow managed to curl up on my seat (I have no clue how I did this: assume the fetal position with just three and a half square feet of space) and fall asleep. I woke up just as we were about to cross the North Carolina/South Carolina boundry.
We found the hotel and my mom made me go with her to check in (I had a very difficult time opening my door; the child lock was on and nobody could figure out how to turn it off, so every time I had to open it I would have to roll down the window (there ain't no fancy buttons in 'em Southern parts) stick my hand out, and open it from the outside) and after a whole lot of cursing on my part (both my legs were asleep) Melissa and I stumbled into our hotel room. (My parent's room was all the way on the other side of the hotel, so every time we needed something from the other room we would have to walk what at the time seemed like a quarter of a mile in a hallway straight out of Stephen King's 1408. Mostly we stuck to calling eachother.)
The hotel room was bitchin', let me tell you that much. It was more like a suite, actually. Two rooms, not counting the bathroom, a sofa, one of those awesome recliner chairs, a kitchen, and like, three TV's. But we were too tired to enjoy it on the first night, so Melissa and I collapsed onto our respective beds and fell asleep.
The next day we ate breakfast at McDonalds (since we were too lazy to do anything else, but let me tell you, that place was packed.) and went to a flea/farmer's market. We bought a shit-load of vintage stuff that's not even worth remembering and then went to check out all our old haunts. Our schools looked smaller than before (and let me tell ya, they looked pretty freakin' small when we actually went there. I mean, the elementary and middle schools were all in one building, and it's about the size of RCMS) and a bunch of new businesses opened. (There was actually some traffic!!)
One of the bummers of the trip: Carowinds was closed. (*tear). We got the date wrong . . . It opens the next month or something like that. But seeing all of our old neighbors (literally) and breaking into the pool for old time's sake was awesome. And there was something about hearing South Carolina accents and breathing in that truly fresh air, and actually seeing the uninterruped sky that really made the lack of circulation to the lower half of my body worth it.
The drive back was similar to the one before, so there's nothing to really tell. Except at one point I was kinda high off of SunChips, and I cracked a joke to Melissa:
Me: Hey! Hey! What do hear when an Englishman tries to impersonate a Southern man?
Melissa: You talk too much. Shut up.
Me: A drunken Irishman!!! (Bursts into laughter.)
Melissa: (Rolls her eyes and goes back to reading Twilight.)
Yep, that's about it. Except now I have a guitar solo stuck in my head and I have no bloody clue where it's from.