Losing Sleep
Sleepless nights are never good. Last night I couldn't sleep because
peters_dadwas on his way home and I kept listening for his key in the lock--very much like the nights I spent up while
peterintaiwan,
rm_sister, and their brother were in high school--but I digress. Tonight, or more correctly this morning, I can't sleep because I keep thinking of all the mistakes I made on my final exam for Strength of Materials yesterday. My confidence is really low this morning. I only needed 87 on my final in Thermodynamics to keep my 4.0 in that class--I got 82 on the final so I'll get 3.5 for the class. I struggled all semester in strength and may not pass. Going into the final I had a 2.5. Yup that is correct a 2.5. For this former honor student and Phi Theta Kappa officer a 2.5 is quite a blow to my self esteem. Waking up out of a dead sleep realizing the major mistakes I made on 2 of the 4 questions on the final has me wondering if I should throw in the towel. I am so exhausted and have four more semesters before I graduate. Four more without a break in between. Four more at this pace--or worse because I'm now into my senior level classes.
People always act surprised when they find out I'm attending college but then they are shocked to find out I'm majoring in engineering. Maybe I should take the hint and give up. But how can I give up now? I've been at this consistently for nearly 7 years. To quit when I'm within 12 classes of graduating seems like a waste. Then there's the matter of student loans. I owe so much now I will have to work for the next 10 years to pay them off. If I have to work it would be nice to have a job I enjoy. And I loved my job at Raytheon. I am a good engineer. But how can I continue to put my family and myself through this stress?
I don't have any answers this morning, just questions.
peters_dadwas on his way home and I kept listening for his key in the lock--very much like the nights I spent up while
peterintaiwan,
rm_sister, and their brother were in high school--but I digress. Tonight, or more correctly this morning, I can't sleep because I keep thinking of all the mistakes I made on my final exam for Strength of Materials yesterday. My confidence is really low this morning. I only needed 87 on my final in Thermodynamics to keep my 4.0 in that class--I got 82 on the final so I'll get 3.5 for the class. I struggled all semester in strength and may not pass. Going into the final I had a 2.5. Yup that is correct a 2.5. For this former honor student and Phi Theta Kappa officer a 2.5 is quite a blow to my self esteem. Waking up out of a dead sleep realizing the major mistakes I made on 2 of the 4 questions on the final has me wondering if I should throw in the towel. I am so exhausted and have four more semesters before I graduate. Four more without a break in between. Four more at this pace--or worse because I'm now into my senior level classes.
People always act surprised when they find out I'm attending college but then they are shocked to find out I'm majoring in engineering. Maybe I should take the hint and give up. But how can I give up now? I've been at this consistently for nearly 7 years. To quit when I'm within 12 classes of graduating seems like a waste. Then there's the matter of student loans. I owe so much now I will have to work for the next 10 years to pay them off. If I have to work it would be nice to have a job I enjoy. And I loved my job at Raytheon. I am a good engineer. But how can I continue to put my family and myself through this stress?
I don't have any answers this morning, just questions.