An Excessive Load of Poetry
circles
i could chase my tail all day
all night
for weeks
and months
and years
and have nothing to show for it
the nature of the game
is that
she leans in close to kiss you
and punches you in the gut
this is what everyone knows
but noone can admit
I am not the alpha and the omega
the beginning nor the end
this is the same tail
you caught yesterday
a dried up
old sack of bones
still wishing for something to come
thinking
thinking
weaving new realities
silently
no no no
but not here
it's not you,
I swear
who does?
thinking
thinking
how
is it
so
this little brain is hooked
somedays inspired expired a twisting brain knotted I'm not it I'm not attached to this fray apart at the seams the stomach is leaking
somedays wish upon a star without
stale bogs
shaking
and fat boys
somedays bile backs up
to sewer brain
get me out
Life will get you in the end.
Their were clouded waters and
god only knows what was under the surface.
Now I speculate
a patch of scale.
I'm not sure I saw-
cat tails
darkness
endless waters are unsafe
at any moment
you could die
All the parts in disarray are a certain kind of beauty
One not so easily apprehendable
She's easily fragmentable
and beneath the not so perfectly forced together puzzle pieces,
jigsawed with a razor blade,
is a heart
thick with muscle
wet with tears
Her heart is a gold ring
a silent vow she whispers in her sleep
and can be seen if one looks deep enough into her eyes
Someday her levy will break
and all the heart blood will flood out from those eyes
and purify the earth.
To her wealth is only a word
a sticking point
the hard pit of her fruit
not the easily eaten
quick to rot
flesh of a flower
but the discarded seed inside
and laying next to her always is a dish
of half chewed cherry pits
she ties the stems with her tounge
Zoereverant Necroviolate
I would like to paint a picture
to never touch
the hearts of agony
and endless shit
beyond endless opening
my hands are a spiritual reality
connecting me
through long greenish veins
to track marked arms
and countlessly opened wrists
countless acts of mental abuse
perpetuated on my sisters
whos trembling bodies
open and unfold
in the hopes of these hands
Untold numbers of
horrors
and
reverence
in horizontal alignment
pour from the cup
to this canvas
My offerings are not of the material
blood and shit
and incence
and gold
rather the sufferings and joys
of all that exists
is my paint
and
in the end
their is no picture
My dream begins with my escape from the psycheward
I've been here for ten thousand years
Ive been here for a night
The possibility of scissors bring me here
The freedom they bring me now
I run silent and naked
Til my step dad find me near the campus carny barkers
For him I am clothed
Random names
standing for what I believe in
for once I have the courage to stand for anothers Courage
and I meet your black hair
between mad dream drunken dashes
my legs are like distant objects
the controls are broken
Beautiful black hair spills Nachoes on me
Sedation bruises on my arms
I dont remember who I am
Everything I left neat and orderly never happened
or if it did
has reversed its agenda
and walked out
kicking shit over on its way
They say I'm not so monotone
as if my greyscale chatter
had any passion to begin with
Her hand slides down my ass
so that I remember now where passion is located.
The neck of my guitar nestles
between her breasts
mouth hot and ready
where have I been for so long?
I must wash my hands of this
but the ability to do so
was stolen by random circumstances
and circulating shower curtains.
Like an I.V. sedative,
this moment begins and ends
in an endless haze
where the passing of objects only swirls the mists
which then fill in all the empty spaces
I must say goodbye
Even if from the mists
...such speed, speed, speed, look this way, twitch that way, think thinking thoughts rush. past. so. so. so. quickly icantevenfollow cantevendis tin guish this thought, thought, thought, from the next...
a week home now
and I wonder
witness
the smell of this house
and the lack of drought
thats plauged this town
for so many years
in contrast
so stark
the things I take for granted
make others sick
or worse
in isolation
not so deep
winter will never end
but the drifts have melted some
I found an open door to heaven and tempted them to come in
It was a garden of earthly delights
A big fucking let down
at least until we found the back door to hell.
-
incredible power or incredible impotance
as the spectacle wears on
maybe I become more human
maybe I just dont have it in me anymore
Dearest Park City
You all were there
to see the carny barker,
the rabid dogs
and the balancing act of my sanity
but all this bloodshed
only proves
that the balance isnt even yet
-
Theirs a dead child at the bottom of a lake
near Bozeman Montana
I know nothing of it
I never have
and I will not repeat this
A Stranger
Sometimes my battles come to an end
and I can't tell where I end and the wind begins.
I soften up,
shed it all
and drink deep from this miracle.
the wind and the sun
the roar of cars
the distinct caress of a tree
and cloudy conversations
and clouded thoughts
and clotting blood
I once thought this world to be a nightmare
and with time found it to be a dream.
But still
She reveals herself as something more
Something less
still
vibrant
silent
unfathomable caress
So Secure
entirely unsure,
uncertain,
shaking under the skin.
this kiss makes me ask old questions.
your lips sew mine shut.
and suddenly I'm juxtaposed into a position
familiar and frightening at once,
half worrying,
half wondering
if I should run out the door screaming.
but
We all know I've been here before
and lived to write about it.
Just small fears
with nothing to distract me
but the smell of your hair
and the way you like to be held.
Just this big fucking fear
leaving me unsure,
uncertain,
and shaking under the skin.
i could chase my tail all day
all night
for weeks
and months
and years
and have nothing to show for it
the nature of the game
is that
she leans in close to kiss you
and punches you in the gut
this is what everyone knows
but noone can admit
I am not the alpha and the omega
the beginning nor the end
this is the same tail
you caught yesterday
a dried up
old sack of bones
still wishing for something to come
thinking
thinking
weaving new realities
silently
no no no
but not here
it's not you,
I swear
who does?
thinking
thinking
how
is it
so
this little brain is hooked
somedays inspired expired a twisting brain knotted I'm not it I'm not attached to this fray apart at the seams the stomach is leaking
somedays wish upon a star without
stale bogs
shaking
and fat boys
somedays bile backs up
to sewer brain
get me out
Life will get you in the end.
Their were clouded waters and
god only knows what was under the surface.
Now I speculate
a patch of scale.
I'm not sure I saw-
cat tails
darkness
endless waters are unsafe
at any moment
you could die
All the parts in disarray are a certain kind of beauty
One not so easily apprehendable
She's easily fragmentable
and beneath the not so perfectly forced together puzzle pieces,
jigsawed with a razor blade,
is a heart
thick with muscle
wet with tears
Her heart is a gold ring
a silent vow she whispers in her sleep
and can be seen if one looks deep enough into her eyes
Someday her levy will break
and all the heart blood will flood out from those eyes
and purify the earth.
To her wealth is only a word
a sticking point
the hard pit of her fruit
not the easily eaten
quick to rot
flesh of a flower
but the discarded seed inside
and laying next to her always is a dish
of half chewed cherry pits
she ties the stems with her tounge
Zoereverant Necroviolate
I would like to paint a picture
to never touch
the hearts of agony
and endless shit
beyond endless opening
my hands are a spiritual reality
connecting me
through long greenish veins
to track marked arms
and countlessly opened wrists
countless acts of mental abuse
perpetuated on my sisters
whos trembling bodies
open and unfold
in the hopes of these hands
Untold numbers of
horrors
and
reverence
in horizontal alignment
pour from the cup
to this canvas
My offerings are not of the material
blood and shit
and incence
and gold
rather the sufferings and joys
of all that exists
is my paint
and
in the end
their is no picture
My dream begins with my escape from the psycheward
I've been here for ten thousand years
Ive been here for a night
The possibility of scissors bring me here
The freedom they bring me now
I run silent and naked
Til my step dad find me near the campus carny barkers
For him I am clothed
Random names
standing for what I believe in
for once I have the courage to stand for anothers Courage
and I meet your black hair
between mad dream drunken dashes
my legs are like distant objects
the controls are broken
Beautiful black hair spills Nachoes on me
Sedation bruises on my arms
I dont remember who I am
Everything I left neat and orderly never happened
or if it did
has reversed its agenda
and walked out
kicking shit over on its way
They say I'm not so monotone
as if my greyscale chatter
had any passion to begin with
Her hand slides down my ass
so that I remember now where passion is located.
The neck of my guitar nestles
between her breasts
mouth hot and ready
where have I been for so long?
I must wash my hands of this
but the ability to do so
was stolen by random circumstances
and circulating shower curtains.
Like an I.V. sedative,
this moment begins and ends
in an endless haze
where the passing of objects only swirls the mists
which then fill in all the empty spaces
I must say goodbye
Even if from the mists
...such speed, speed, speed, look this way, twitch that way, think thinking thoughts rush. past. so. so. so. quickly icantevenfollow cantevendis tin guish this thought, thought, thought, from the next...
a week home now
and I wonder
witness
the smell of this house
and the lack of drought
thats plauged this town
for so many years
in contrast
so stark
the things I take for granted
make others sick
or worse
in isolation
not so deep
winter will never end
but the drifts have melted some
I found an open door to heaven and tempted them to come in
It was a garden of earthly delights
A big fucking let down
at least until we found the back door to hell.
-
incredible power or incredible impotance
as the spectacle wears on
maybe I become more human
maybe I just dont have it in me anymore
Dearest Park City
You all were there
to see the carny barker,
the rabid dogs
and the balancing act of my sanity
but all this bloodshed
only proves
that the balance isnt even yet
-
Theirs a dead child at the bottom of a lake
near Bozeman Montana
I know nothing of it
I never have
and I will not repeat this
A Stranger
Sometimes my battles come to an end
and I can't tell where I end and the wind begins.
I soften up,
shed it all
and drink deep from this miracle.
the wind and the sun
the roar of cars
the distinct caress of a tree
and cloudy conversations
and clouded thoughts
and clotting blood
I once thought this world to be a nightmare
and with time found it to be a dream.
But still
She reveals herself as something more
Something less
still
vibrant
silent
unfathomable caress
So Secure
entirely unsure,
uncertain,
shaking under the skin.
this kiss makes me ask old questions.
your lips sew mine shut.
and suddenly I'm juxtaposed into a position
familiar and frightening at once,
half worrying,
half wondering
if I should run out the door screaming.
but
We all know I've been here before
and lived to write about it.
Just small fears
with nothing to distract me
but the smell of your hair
and the way you like to be held.
Just this big fucking fear
leaving me unsure,
uncertain,
and shaking under the skin.