this is really only for you

[peterpanmustdie]

who are you

every time
I see you
I get sick

every time
they say your name
I want to fade out

every time
I see you and him
I want to shoot you both

every time
I think of you
I lose a little more

and I hope every day
you don't forget me
because
every day
your further away

and I need it
don't need you
and I love you
fucking hate you

stay away
come here
I miss you
I love you
I don't want to ever see you

so I hold off
don't call
try and tell myself not to email you

and I desperately
want to be part of you
a part that doesn't fade
when I don't water it

I don't want to be disposable in your insecurity
I can't see how you ever were a part of me now

this is meaningless
i dont know if this means anything
its all bullshit

but I hurt
and I miss you