(no subject)
everytime i sit down to write an entry i get overcome with a sense of apathy, i don't know why i have suddenly stopped caring about what happens on the internet, maybe its my lack of access at my new apartment, but i feel like its more, i feel creatively stifled, and everytime i get on the internet it reminds me of that...
my life is generally good, i have all the essentials taken care of, money, housing, food. After dropping out of normal life for a summer it was incredibly easy to slip back into everything. at first i thought that the creativity would flow back once i returned everything to a state of predictiblity, but obiviously thats not it...
but i think the creativity is gone, because i spend all my time awake during the day, i used to work on my projects late in the night, usually my best results were around 3am, i felt a certain connection to 3am, usually it was quiet, i could be left alone, i would be high as hell, people around me were all asleep and dreaming, somewhere in that is the formula that sparked my creativity...its gotten so bad i have thought about trying to reverse my sleep schedule in a way that would let me sleep during the late mornings and midafter noons, but ofcourse that would destroy the predictibilty that i have created so far....
the funny thing about this is that i know that there is no reason for it, there is no supernatural powers at work, i'm not tapping into the dreams of others for my muse, the moon isn't sending me beams of insight...its just me, and something in my brain creating a block...
all things are a trade off though, my photography has improved recently i can see it evident in my recent shoots...
my life is generally good, i have all the essentials taken care of, money, housing, food. After dropping out of normal life for a summer it was incredibly easy to slip back into everything. at first i thought that the creativity would flow back once i returned everything to a state of predictiblity, but obiviously thats not it...
but i think the creativity is gone, because i spend all my time awake during the day, i used to work on my projects late in the night, usually my best results were around 3am, i felt a certain connection to 3am, usually it was quiet, i could be left alone, i would be high as hell, people around me were all asleep and dreaming, somewhere in that is the formula that sparked my creativity...its gotten so bad i have thought about trying to reverse my sleep schedule in a way that would let me sleep during the late mornings and midafter noons, but ofcourse that would destroy the predictibilty that i have created so far....
the funny thing about this is that i know that there is no reason for it, there is no supernatural powers at work, i'm not tapping into the dreams of others for my muse, the moon isn't sending me beams of insight...its just me, and something in my brain creating a block...
all things are a trade off though, my photography has improved recently i can see it evident in my recent shoots...