i wish i could say that i forgot my password or something and that's why i haven't updated...
because the alternative, explaining why, well that's something that isn't even clear to me right now. when i started this journal, i mentioned some nonesense about needed some ladies to step forward and play a number on my heart. the thing is, i was joking, really wasn't serious at all. i just wanted a little inspiration, not really dishonestly, mistrust and my heart stepped on. i guess i'm still a bit bitter. why. well because she cheated on me, and then from what i hear has gone back to her husband, hmm, the one thing she said wouldn't happen. she said she loved me, i trusted her, and let myself fall. i thought she was amazing. but, she is uncouth. she not only lied to me, hurt me, but she still hasn't even had the decency to talk to me about it. i had to read about it like that rest of you. i can't even believe her. its not so much that she cheated, or that she's back with her husband, but i can't stand lies, i don't like mistrust. and with every woman i date it seems there is always mistrust, and each time it begins for me with less trust, which makes each relationship progressively more difficult. note to self, stay away from married women. god, i wish i knew how to listen to myself. i have a tendency to repeat stupid mistakes.