(no subject)
I really don't understand people, especially the way some people react to certain scenarios and situations. Look, I'm sorry if I offended anyone in that entry, honestly I never told anyone not to write and part of my reactions were based on the anger drawn from this confusion. But then again I can't help but feel that some people's aggravation with my writing isn't simply drawn from the fact that it's me. I've been turning this over a lot in my mind and I've come to realize that I'm almost back where I was before last summer, this confusion and aggravation drawn from the disbelief of the way some people act. So as much as I really don't want to, I'll make some concessions on my part, I'll take the high road because I feel like I'm starting a fued and I was a lot happier when I didn't have this confrontation, so here goes:
you know who you are, I'm sure the moment you start reading this you're going to laugh and tell everyone that I'm a wimp and scared of what you would do, which isn't the case at all. In fact, if anything I'd tell you to cut the shit and just come right after me, I'd welcome it, but then again I wonder what that would accomplish? A series of retaliations that would truly get nothing done. So rather than go through the motions of it, I'll simply try to make a solution.
Let me start by getting my feelings out in the open. I hate you, probably more than anyone I could ever imagine, if you were to die tomorrow, I'd probably be happy. I think the biggest part of that isn't that you broke up with me, isn't that you didn't feel the same as me, or anything involving our actual relationship. I think it mainly lies in the friend that I lost, a friend that for that brief time I considered very good. I allowed my emotions to get in the way of things and I screwed that up, even today I still believe it. I did have my depressing posts, we had the fights, we destroyed that friendship. I think we both changed and went our seperate ways, and as I look back on it now it was probably for the best. I'll try to keep it brief, but I can honestly tell you that the only thing I ever missed was our conversations, to this day I will contend that I never had more fluent conversations with anyone else. I guess that's what this is about, I know you don't ever think about me anymore, I know you don't even care that I'm doing this, and that doesn't bother me at all, but if ever the occassion were to arise that for some strange reason I were to cross your memory it would be as friends and not as the asshole I became later.
Since you and I stopped talking I feel that things turned for the best for the both of us, and I guess what prompted this was the desire to prove to the other that their life had turned out for the best. I don't miss talking to you, but recently I have missed the time when we didn't interact in each others lives, so that's what this is a compromise, a request to go back to what we established as the best way.
So not that you'd do me any favors, not that I'm asking you to do this as an act of kindness, I'm just asking to bury this and move on. I'm practicing what I preached and suggesting that we cut ties once more for good. I'll stay out of you life, you stay out of mine, fairly simple request.
Like I said, think of me what you will, I just want to go back to not dealing with shit between you and me. So have your laughs at my expense which I'm sure will most certainly ensue afterwards, I just don't care anymore, and I really don't want to pretend like I do anymore. I'm sure you'll think I'm pathetic, you always did.
you know who you are, I'm sure the moment you start reading this you're going to laugh and tell everyone that I'm a wimp and scared of what you would do, which isn't the case at all. In fact, if anything I'd tell you to cut the shit and just come right after me, I'd welcome it, but then again I wonder what that would accomplish? A series of retaliations that would truly get nothing done. So rather than go through the motions of it, I'll simply try to make a solution.
Let me start by getting my feelings out in the open. I hate you, probably more than anyone I could ever imagine, if you were to die tomorrow, I'd probably be happy. I think the biggest part of that isn't that you broke up with me, isn't that you didn't feel the same as me, or anything involving our actual relationship. I think it mainly lies in the friend that I lost, a friend that for that brief time I considered very good. I allowed my emotions to get in the way of things and I screwed that up, even today I still believe it. I did have my depressing posts, we had the fights, we destroyed that friendship. I think we both changed and went our seperate ways, and as I look back on it now it was probably for the best. I'll try to keep it brief, but I can honestly tell you that the only thing I ever missed was our conversations, to this day I will contend that I never had more fluent conversations with anyone else. I guess that's what this is about, I know you don't ever think about me anymore, I know you don't even care that I'm doing this, and that doesn't bother me at all, but if ever the occassion were to arise that for some strange reason I were to cross your memory it would be as friends and not as the asshole I became later.
Since you and I stopped talking I feel that things turned for the best for the both of us, and I guess what prompted this was the desire to prove to the other that their life had turned out for the best. I don't miss talking to you, but recently I have missed the time when we didn't interact in each others lives, so that's what this is a compromise, a request to go back to what we established as the best way.
So not that you'd do me any favors, not that I'm asking you to do this as an act of kindness, I'm just asking to bury this and move on. I'm practicing what I preached and suggesting that we cut ties once more for good. I'll stay out of you life, you stay out of mine, fairly simple request.
Like I said, think of me what you will, I just want to go back to not dealing with shit between you and me. So have your laughs at my expense which I'm sure will most certainly ensue afterwards, I just don't care anymore, and I really don't want to pretend like I do anymore. I'm sure you'll think I'm pathetic, you always did.