role reversal time...
If you decide to read this just think for a second. Imagine that your life is progressing normally, everything is good, not great, but not quite horrible. You have your share of ups and downs, but overall you're pretty happy. Suddenly almost out of nowhere this thing comes along, it could be a person or an object, whatever. The fact of the matter is that this thing comes along and makes you happier than you've been in a long time. You spend so much of your time with it and you get so deeply entangled by the perfection of the scenario you've created. Suddenly you're snapped back to reality, you're leaving. Not only are you leaving, but you cannot bring this thing with you, and you aren't even close to being done with it. So life hands you two options, you stay committed to this thing even though you rarely get to see it or you leave it behind with only a slight chance of regaining what it is you truly want from it. Both situations have their pro's and con's. On the one hand if you stayed committed to keeping things the same you still have it, that's the positive, the negative is that you are passing up the chance to find a similar object that you may see and be around on a more regular basis, but you're leaving the other one behind. On the other situation if you do leave it behind, it's free. It's alone and vulnerable to someone better than you. Someone who will treat this object better than you ever could, maybe it's the perfect match you were never meant to be a part of. So that's the question, do you risk it? Do you give up on what you know makes you happy, or do you accept the idea that you will only see it once a month if you're lucky...
If you haven't figured out, I'm talking about a person, but I said object in order to give a broader scope of the situation. My mind is torn, I know what I need to do, but my heart keeps telling me to do the opposite. The heart is what tells you what's making you happy, the only problem with that is that the heart thinks in only current terms, what's happening this instant. The mind is your rationale, it reminds you of consequences and read the future of the situation. It recognizes variables and the reprocussions of anchoring oneself in the present. So again, what do I follow? My heart or my head? Unfortunately I've too greatly committed to my head, but I worry. I'm scared of someone new coming into the picture. I'm scared that this will be the end truly and what if I don't want it come later. I'm having a hard time ignoring this feeling that it could work, but I know I have to try and ignore it. I can't allow these thoughts to sink too deeply into my head, I can't commit to it, I must continue with what I've started...
Conclusion, week 1 is over, there are 2 left to go. Never in my life have 2 weeks seemed so short, I don't like this at all. It'd be so much easier if things were different, but I don't wish to change anything. All good things must come to an end, part of me wishes though that this is merely a hiatus to be continued at a later date, too bad she's too great to be left alone...
If you haven't figured out, I'm talking about a person, but I said object in order to give a broader scope of the situation. My mind is torn, I know what I need to do, but my heart keeps telling me to do the opposite. The heart is what tells you what's making you happy, the only problem with that is that the heart thinks in only current terms, what's happening this instant. The mind is your rationale, it reminds you of consequences and read the future of the situation. It recognizes variables and the reprocussions of anchoring oneself in the present. So again, what do I follow? My heart or my head? Unfortunately I've too greatly committed to my head, but I worry. I'm scared of someone new coming into the picture. I'm scared that this will be the end truly and what if I don't want it come later. I'm having a hard time ignoring this feeling that it could work, but I know I have to try and ignore it. I can't allow these thoughts to sink too deeply into my head, I can't commit to it, I must continue with what I've started...
Conclusion, week 1 is over, there are 2 left to go. Never in my life have 2 weeks seemed so short, I don't like this at all. It'd be so much easier if things were different, but I don't wish to change anything. All good things must come to an end, part of me wishes though that this is merely a hiatus to be continued at a later date, too bad she's too great to be left alone...