I hate people...
human beings are a failed device. We treat each other like shit, we are incredibly self absorbed, and overall just unconcerned with what happens to others. I definitely include myself in this, I'm just as bad as the rest of them. Luckily there are varying degrees, granted not everyone is a self absorbed piece of shit like my dad, but that's not something I'd care to get into. The follow is a rant of what has to do with me, however do understand there lay much deeper roots as to why this pisses me off so much, I just can't share them, I don't feel it right.
So yesterday I casually mention to my Dad that I want to go to warped tour, and at the moment there are 4 people basically depending on me for a ride. So I tell him this, tell him it's in Northampton, which though it's far it's still in MA, and basically flat out ask him if I can bring my friends as one sort of last big trip before I leave for college. He decides that it's unnecessary miles and that he wants the car to "last". What kind of bullshit is that?! Yes this one trip to Northampton will be the ultimate undoing of this car, it cannot survive past this trip even though it's been to Connecticut and back, Maine and back, Danvers and back on a daily basis, but no Northampton is too much for this fragile car. Basically it's because it doesn't effect him. He gets nothing out of letting me use the car, so therefore it's unnecessary use. He doesn't care that he's screwing over 4 of my friends, or basically shitting on my hope to have one last good time before I leave and don't see any of them for at least 3 months. No it's unnecessary because it does nothing for him. He'd rather the car sit outside my work all day because that is more important. He's an asshole, an anti-social asshole who sees no point in public gatherings, I should just limit myself to reading and sitting around studying, that's how he wants me to live my life, well fuck that. He actually said to me when I told him I was going to a show the day I moved in for college, "Well get your shows out of the way now because you're not going to have time to go during school, I want you to study." I basically said, "fuck you". I'm not a loser like him, he may be the smartest man I know but he sure as hell lives a sucky life and has a crappy idea of what life is. If he could he'd read all day long, because that's entertaining to him. If there was something in Northampton that he wanted to see or go to you sure as hell can bet he'd be there, driving this same "fragile" car. Basically it's just easier to say no and that's what he's doing. He's an asshole, I feel so bad because I'm one of the oldest of my friends yet I never drive to any of these shows, I always have to make someone else do it and I absolutely despise doing that. My parents have never trusted me driving, for some reason it's a "different" realm to be driving on the highway for large lengths of times, and again I say fuck that. So basically rather than grant me this one request I had, this one favor I've asked all summer, he decides to be an asshole and say no with a shitty excuse like "I want the car to last, so I don't want to put unnecessary miles on it." I love his interpretation of unnecessary, he might as well say, "It does nothing for me to have you go to warped tour and that's all that matters, I'm the only one that matters." I know you're probably reading this and say, "pete I think you're being a little harsh." But there's so much more you don't understand. My Dad is the most selfish asshole I know and I would tell you all if I didn't fear hurting my mom. There is so much so many of you don't know about him and it goes so far beyond this warped tour incident. I hope he completes his self destruction soon, I hate having to live through it. When he's clinging to the cliff begging for help, I'll do nothing. Not even step on his fingers to make him fall off quicker because he doesn't deserve it, he's not good enough for something like that.
Again as you read this you may think i'm just putting a lot into warped tour, 95% of this has nothing to do with warped tour. I was going to write a huge explanation behind my accusations, but I can't, I couldn't do that to my mother. For all his faults she still loves him and it would hurt her to embarass him the way I should. All I know is that I used to respect my Dad, I don't anyomre, I have no respect for that man and that's all there is to it...
So yesterday I casually mention to my Dad that I want to go to warped tour, and at the moment there are 4 people basically depending on me for a ride. So I tell him this, tell him it's in Northampton, which though it's far it's still in MA, and basically flat out ask him if I can bring my friends as one sort of last big trip before I leave for college. He decides that it's unnecessary miles and that he wants the car to "last". What kind of bullshit is that?! Yes this one trip to Northampton will be the ultimate undoing of this car, it cannot survive past this trip even though it's been to Connecticut and back, Maine and back, Danvers and back on a daily basis, but no Northampton is too much for this fragile car. Basically it's because it doesn't effect him. He gets nothing out of letting me use the car, so therefore it's unnecessary use. He doesn't care that he's screwing over 4 of my friends, or basically shitting on my hope to have one last good time before I leave and don't see any of them for at least 3 months. No it's unnecessary because it does nothing for him. He'd rather the car sit outside my work all day because that is more important. He's an asshole, an anti-social asshole who sees no point in public gatherings, I should just limit myself to reading and sitting around studying, that's how he wants me to live my life, well fuck that. He actually said to me when I told him I was going to a show the day I moved in for college, "Well get your shows out of the way now because you're not going to have time to go during school, I want you to study." I basically said, "fuck you". I'm not a loser like him, he may be the smartest man I know but he sure as hell lives a sucky life and has a crappy idea of what life is. If he could he'd read all day long, because that's entertaining to him. If there was something in Northampton that he wanted to see or go to you sure as hell can bet he'd be there, driving this same "fragile" car. Basically it's just easier to say no and that's what he's doing. He's an asshole, I feel so bad because I'm one of the oldest of my friends yet I never drive to any of these shows, I always have to make someone else do it and I absolutely despise doing that. My parents have never trusted me driving, for some reason it's a "different" realm to be driving on the highway for large lengths of times, and again I say fuck that. So basically rather than grant me this one request I had, this one favor I've asked all summer, he decides to be an asshole and say no with a shitty excuse like "I want the car to last, so I don't want to put unnecessary miles on it." I love his interpretation of unnecessary, he might as well say, "It does nothing for me to have you go to warped tour and that's all that matters, I'm the only one that matters." I know you're probably reading this and say, "pete I think you're being a little harsh." But there's so much more you don't understand. My Dad is the most selfish asshole I know and I would tell you all if I didn't fear hurting my mom. There is so much so many of you don't know about him and it goes so far beyond this warped tour incident. I hope he completes his self destruction soon, I hate having to live through it. When he's clinging to the cliff begging for help, I'll do nothing. Not even step on his fingers to make him fall off quicker because he doesn't deserve it, he's not good enough for something like that.
Again as you read this you may think i'm just putting a lot into warped tour, 95% of this has nothing to do with warped tour. I was going to write a huge explanation behind my accusations, but I can't, I couldn't do that to my mother. For all his faults she still loves him and it would hurt her to embarass him the way I should. All I know is that I used to respect my Dad, I don't anyomre, I have no respect for that man and that's all there is to it...