(no subject)
Severely unhappy for the time being.
Friday night, I went out with Katie and Natalie, was eventually joined by Cassi, and I got drunkety drunk drunk drunk. Like, can't really walk drunk. Katie drove me home and we left my car in Marietta Square. I got home, stumbled around into our bedroom, vomited, and eventually managed to go to bed. This disturbed Zach more than I realized at the time. Got up in the morning and went with Katie to a meeting for a wedding we're working on. She brought me to my car and I tried to drive it home, but panicked like crazy and couldn't do it. I called Zach to try to calm down and the conversation had the opposite effect. I parked in a Starbucks parking lot (very near where I just left) and called Anne, who agreed to come pick me up and take me home. She gave me a Klonipin, which helped me more than anything else could have, and I stopped shaking and freaking out and everything. I got home and Zach was making dinner. We talked about the night before and he told me how it made him so mad, bla bla bla, and I told him this was unfair. This turned into a big fight and culminated in me crying for several hours. Zach and his brothers decided to play board games and I sat with them, quietly working the Sunday NY Times crossword puzzle. Nothing was resolved. I feel very empty. And helpless/hopeless.
Today, Zach's mom had to go to the emergency room, because her heart was beating irregularly and she was having trouble breathing. Zach took her in, and I got a text from him a while ago that said she's ok but will be a while. I'm here with the baby, and she's napping. We're supposed to go to dinner for Zach's mom's birthday today, and I don't know if that's happening now. I don't really know what's going on at all.
I don't feel ready to throw the Yule Ball, or even to attend it. I will do both, of course, but I feel exactly the opposite about it from the way I usually do. I feel like in the past few days, everything has just gone slowly downhill. That's all.
Friday night, I went out with Katie and Natalie, was eventually joined by Cassi, and I got drunkety drunk drunk drunk. Like, can't really walk drunk. Katie drove me home and we left my car in Marietta Square. I got home, stumbled around into our bedroom, vomited, and eventually managed to go to bed. This disturbed Zach more than I realized at the time. Got up in the morning and went with Katie to a meeting for a wedding we're working on. She brought me to my car and I tried to drive it home, but panicked like crazy and couldn't do it. I called Zach to try to calm down and the conversation had the opposite effect. I parked in a Starbucks parking lot (very near where I just left) and called Anne, who agreed to come pick me up and take me home. She gave me a Klonipin, which helped me more than anything else could have, and I stopped shaking and freaking out and everything. I got home and Zach was making dinner. We talked about the night before and he told me how it made him so mad, bla bla bla, and I told him this was unfair. This turned into a big fight and culminated in me crying for several hours. Zach and his brothers decided to play board games and I sat with them, quietly working the Sunday NY Times crossword puzzle. Nothing was resolved. I feel very empty. And helpless/hopeless.
Today, Zach's mom had to go to the emergency room, because her heart was beating irregularly and she was having trouble breathing. Zach took her in, and I got a text from him a while ago that said she's ok but will be a while. I'm here with the baby, and she's napping. We're supposed to go to dinner for Zach's mom's birthday today, and I don't know if that's happening now. I don't really know what's going on at all.
I don't feel ready to throw the Yule Ball, or even to attend it. I will do both, of course, but I feel exactly the opposite about it from the way I usually do. I feel like in the past few days, everything has just gone slowly downhill. That's all.