(no subject)
I haven't really journaled in a few months so I thought that I might well throw who ever reads this a bone with some meat on it.
I think this is week 2, I am already tired of school. As per the usual. I am taking 3 classes: German 203 which is my last German class for the rest of my natural life; Imaginary Shanghai which is an esoteric way to say the history of Shanghai; Jewish American History which is taught by a funny and awkward Jewish man. There is just too much reading that I am not doing. In German we're reading a book called Am Die Kürze Ende die Sonnenalle (On the Short end of the Sonnenalle) which is about a group of teenagers living in East Berlin in the 1980s. In Shanghai we we have a stack of fiction books about Shanghai, a course packet, and additional reading on Black Board and in Knight library. In Jewish American history it is pretty much the same story as Shanghai.
Last term I was quite successful. I got a C+ in German 202 which is a miracle. You have no idea how hard I worked for that stupid plus sign.
I got a B+ in my Japanese WW2 class. Now I can say fancy things like 'The first Sino-Japanese war' and 'a war of attrition on the Japanese archipelago' and know what I am saying. While others may not. This is what a B+ does for you!
I also succesfuly comepleted my history seminar, which is like a mini thesis, for my history BA. And holy fucking shit I got a B+.
Now. I am happy that I managed to pull this off. However it just reinforces that I can do marginal, little to not effort work and still pass with flying colors. Either Prof. Hanes loved my bullshit or didn't see it caked into my paper. My paper was about Iijime, which is Japanese for 'bullying', in Japanese schools. Now I can talk about examination hell, raceism in Japan, and Japanese preschools. Not like anyone really cares. And it is pretty much useless. But hey, passing means that I am one step closer to my BA.
Out side of school, good God what do I do outside of school and the interwebs?
Tomorrow is Aaron's birthday and we're dining at P.F. Chang's with his friends. He will be 22 and for a short time we will be the same age. I have no idea what I am going to get him though. I might go back to Gamestop to see if they still have the Witcher because they wouldn't sell it to me because I didn't have my id on me. Bastards. Although I might get him a U of O hoodie, but I might save that for his grad gift. Baaaaaa I dunno what to get him.
He is graduating this June and has no idea what he is going to do. He never wrote for the ODE because he hated it so much, which he has kinda shot himself in the foot because he has no clippings for his portfolio. He is probably going to stay in Eugene and stay with me which I am happy about that. We're going to Hawaii this August, his parents' treat, for his best friend's wedding. Aaron is the best man. We will be there for 5 days and I will swim every day and go to Pearl Harbor. And yell 'BANZAI!'. A lot.
I am thinking, as the year winds down, about things that I think about a lot. I have mentioned before that Eugene and U of O held this special feeling, a spark, of antsy excitement. It still does, to an extent, feel like this to me but not as much as it did when I lived in Medford. I still love Eugene though. But I just wanted so much more out of it, that I haven't found yet. I have friends, that I don't see nearly enough, mainly because I am just too damn busy or tired. I miss hanging out with Debra, Annie, and Aaron...I do not see them nearly enough. Especially since Aaron and Debra live a 2 minute walk down the alley from me. I feel like a crap friend sometimes. But I love the fact that I can go months with out seeing Kim, Eric, Val or John and when we do get together we sync back into it.
I just want that spark back from Eugene, it sounds like a relationship on the rocks doesn't it? While Eugene is home it doesn't really seem like it. There is just too liminal space that doesn't last long enough. It seems like our hearts just aren't in it to make real friends or make phone calls. We resort to Facebook or Myspace games of tag. Which is fine, I play them to, and I am quite shy about making phone calls. So in this search for something to do on Saturday nite I fail quite well. I feel like going out and enjoying sunny days and warm nites with friends would give me more warmth from my beloved Eugene, but I may be wrong. We're all searching for something here, at university. I always thought that I would find it. I always thought that I would make fast friends that I would always be with. But instead I have found myself shrinking into my shyness that was never really there until I moved here.
There is just something about this time of year causes me to reminisce and ponder. There is just something about the freedom that spring brings that conjures up these thoughts.
I keep having dreams about a certain person (here is one from 2006: http://petal-abstract.livejournal.com/43008.html?mode=reply) and I am unsure what to do. We were never friends, and probably were quite close to despising each other. But I have been intrigued with the idea to get into contact with them. And just bury the hatchet. Maybe more if they will have it, but I am unsure. I always thought that this person and I would've been such good friends if the spring of 2006 would have happened much, much differently. Maybe something might happen if I do something about it.
Call me.