Fic: Blake's 7, 'Thaw', Avon and Vila, PG
I've posted this in one or two comms, but couldn't find a public post for it in my LJ. I'm slowly trying to bring together all my fic so I can link to it from my index. Given the state of the weather in the UK at the moment, it seemed topical to post this one again now :)
Title: Thaw
Characters: Avon and Vila
Pairing: None (you could read it as slashy if you wanted to)
Rating: PG
Summary: 'Did your mum keep you in the fridge as a baby?'
“We’re going to freeze, Avon!”
“Quite possibly.”
“I don’t want to die. I’m too young. There’s so much I haven’t done.”
“And so much I’d be glad for you to shut up about.”
“You’re scared too, aren’t you? Admit it. You’re scared. And you’re glad I’m here so you won’t die alone.”
“I will admit to being concerned about the situation, Vila. I am also cold. And irritated. Periodically experiencing some slight digestive discomfort. Perhaps very slightly dehydrated. But as for being glad that you are here…surely even you are not quite so deluded as to believe that.”
“Well…I’m glad you’re here. All right, I’d rather it be Gan, or Cally. Or Blake. Or Jenna. Actually I suppose sitting here in an ice-cave with Servalan and Travis would be better in a pinch than being stuck here with you. But you’re better than nobody at all.”
“I gush with joy at your touching revelation. I am so warmed by it, in fact, that the very ice beneath my buttocks is melting.”
“There’s no need to be sarky.”
“There’s no need to be anything else when you’re around.”
“You just can’t do it, can you? You can’t have a normal conversation without sharpening your tongue on somebody.”
“We are trapped in an ice-cave five hundred metres below sea level, and without our teleport bracelets, which are somewhere under that snowdrift, we have no way of contacting Liberator. I would hardly call this a normal conversation. Then again…”
“’Spose not. But you could at least try to be civil in our last moments, couldn’t you?”
“No.”
“Why are you like this, eh? Did your mum keep you in the fridge as a baby?”
“I wish she had. It would have been good practice.”
“Oh, ha ha. Very funny. Do you do the galactic comedy circuit or can you only manage gallows humour?”
“Your whining is becoming intolerable, Vila. If you don’t stop it, you will not have to worry about freezing to death.”
“Well that’s charming….hey, what’s the matter? Have you hurt yourself?”
“I hit my head when the roof collapsed. It’s nothing.”
“Sorry. I didn’t know. Anything I can do?”
“Yes, actually. You can do me the courtesy of dying silently. And don’t tut at me.”
“That’s an Auron curse, you know. ‘May you die alone and silent.’”
“Sounds like bliss to me.”
“I know you don’t mean that. Is it me or is it getting colder? Come here.”
“Why?”
“We ought to share body heat. It’ll keep us alive longer, give the others time to search for us.”
“Come any closer to me and you’ll be removing stalactites from your face for the next thirty years.”
“It’ll give us more time!”
“Just go over there and be quiet.”
“You’re seriously saying that a cuddle from me is like a fate worse than death?”
“Vila, I have often reflected that breathing the same air as you borders on a fate worse than death.”
“You ought to be right at home here. That’s not blood in your veins, it’s ice water.”
“Then inflicting your physical proximity upon me won’t make you any warmer, will it?”
“Oh, I give up. It’s like you want to be alone and miserable.”
“No, I want to be alone so that I might have a little peace and quiet in which to reflect on my life.”
“Really? Reflect on your life? What conclusions have you come to, then?”
“I haven’t yet had the opportunity!”
“All right. I’ll sum it up for you. The life of Kerr Avon in five chapters. One, get born. Two, go to posh Alpha science academy. Three, commit fraud, badly. Four, escape prison and join the rebels. Five, die in an ice-cave with somebody you wouldn’t even spit on if he were on fire. Am I about right?”
“No. You forget the epilogue: kill Vila and steal his thermal suit.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“No, I wouldn’t. It’s malfunctioning, like mine.”
…..
“Avon?”
“What now?”
“Just making sure you were still…with me.”
“I am. You have not yet succeeded in talking me to death.”
“D’you think they’ll miss us?”
“Who? The others?”
“Well, yeah.”
“If you mean will they notice our absence, yes, as soon as they want a dirty job doing. If you mean will they care, that is far less likely.”
“You’re wrong. They do care about us. Well, I don’t think Jenna likes you very much, and for that matter neither does Gan, and Blake thinks you’re planning to kill him and steal his ship, but I think Cally’s fond of you. Well, she doesn’t hate you. Well, she might do, but she also fancies you. A bit.”
“Really? Are you sure of that?”
“Pretty much. Why, d’you fancy her?”
“Not Cally, you moron. Blake. Does he really believe I’m planning to steal Liberator out from under him? Murdering him in the process?”
“Nah. Probably not. Don’t know if he really trusts you, though.”
“Perhaps there is hope for him yet.”
“Why do you always do that?”
“Hmm?”
“Make out you’re worse than you are. Make people think you’re all cold and conscienceless and horrible.”
“I stick toothpicks in puppies, too.”
“See, you’re doing it again. Turning everything into a nasty joke, even when it’s about you. Whenever something bad happens you laugh at it, like you’re expecting the universe to torture you and you’re glad to be right. Ever heard of the self-fulfilling prophecy? And don’t. Don’t make another sarcastic joke. We’re all on our own, and we’re going to freeze to death, and I want a straight answer out of you for once.”
“I am not entirely clear on what the question is, if indeed there was one in all that melodramatic rambling.”
“I’ll make it easy for you, then. Why are you trying to turn yourself into a computer, shutting off your feelings, pushing everybody away? What happened to you to make you end up like this?”
“Interesting question.”
“What’s the answer?”
“Oh no, Vila. I won’t have you filching secrets from me like that. A fair exchange, however, is no robbery.”
“All right, what do you want to know? I’m not scared. I’ll tell you anything you want.”
“Very well. Here is my question. Why do you have such a phobia of your own competence?”
“Oh, here we go. Sarcasm again. I give up. You just won’t…”
“It was a serious question, not an insult.”
“I don’t get you.”
“You don’t merely pretend to be stupid - you actively choose ignorance, wherever possible. It isn’t merely laziness, as I thought at first. It isn’t even cowardice, though that plays a part. You speak of self-fulfilling prophecies. What prophecy are you trying to fulfil, Vila?”
“I’m just trying to survive. That’s all.”
“By pretending to be an idiot? The oldest trick in the book. But it isn’t as simple as that. So tell me, Vila Restal: why are you afraid of yourself?”
“I suppose…I suppose I’m scared that if I really tried, I wouldn’t be good enough.”
“Nonsense. You excel at your chosen profession, and you are proud of that fact.”
“Ta.”
“Answer the question, and I’ll answer yours. Truthfully.”
“…I do it because it’s what you need.”
“What I need?”
“Not just you. Blake, Jenna, even Cally. Most people I’ve met. They need a dipstick.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“A dipstick, it’s a thing they used to use to measure the depth of oil in old-style motor cars. It’s also another word for being thick.”
“My compliments. I wasn’t aware your sense of humour had developed to the level of making puns.”
“You see? You need it. You need me to be daft so you can measure yourself against me and come out as superior. Blake doesn’t need me to open doors and crack safes every five minutes, and anyone could fire the neutron blasters. The only thing I’ve got that you all need, all the time, is inferiority. And I can do that, I can be a fool for all of you. The thick little Delta. All of you safe in the knowledge that no matter how much you mess things up, you’re not as stupid or useless as that poor git Vila. That’s why I don’t try to be better than I am, Avon, and why I pretend to be worse. I’m just doing my job, playing my part.
“Avon? You’ve gone really quiet. Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.”
“Come on, then. I’ve answered your question. Your turn. I’ll put it in a nutshell - call me soppy if you want. Why won’t you love anybody, or let them love you?”
“The latter is simple. People who love me end up dead.”
“…what about the first part?”
“I rather think it’s getting colder in here.”
“Avon?”
“To borrow a quote…’I suppose I’m scared that if I really tried, I wouldn’t be good enough.’”
“You mean you’re worried that if you try to love somebody, you won’t be able to? Everyone loves. Unless you’re a crimmo. You’re not a crimmo, are you?”
“A psychopath? I don’t know.”
“You really don’t?”
“I really don’t.”
“What about the people who loved you and died? Didn’t you love them as well? You must have, otherwise you wouldn’t care.”
“You’ve had your answer. Stop analysing me.”
“I don’t believe you. I think you’re just scared that if you love someone, they’ll hurt you. Really hurt you.”
“That would be the cliché, wouldn’t it?”
“What would you do if I said I loved you right now, this minute?”
“I’d say you were about to die. And I’d be right.”
“Can’t really argue with that.”
“No.”
“Say you love me.”
“Why would I do that?”
“I want to see if you can. Prove it to yourself. Go on.”
“Vila, merely saying the words does not make the emotion genuine.”
“Yeah, except sometimes it does, though.”
“Don’t be absurd.”
“Look, if it doesn’t mean anything then it doesn’t matter, does it? Just say it.”
“Why?”
“I want to see if you can, even when it’s meaningless. I want to see if you can even form the words.”
“This is a pointless exercise.”
“Humour me.”
“I…”
“Go on. I’ll stop bothering you if you do. Promise.”
“I…love you.”
“Wow. Didn’t think you’d actually do it. Doesn’t it feel better, though? As though you’ve broken down some of the barriers, just by saying it?”
“All I can say is that I never expected to welcome death so utterly.”
“Thank you. For saying it. I needed to hear somebody say it before the end. Do you know, nobody’s ever told me that they loved me?”
“I do wonder why.”
“Did you mean it? Even a little bit?”
“Don’t be stupid.”
“Come on. Inches from death, nothing to lose. I know your big secret, you know mine. One more revelation won’t hurt anything. Who’ll know?”
“Vila…”
“Yes?”
“I dislike you quite intensely. You are lazy, poorly educated, irritating, self-absorbed, and above all nosy. However…however, that being said, I suppose I would not entirely prefer a universe without you in it. I suppose it might even be said that, despite my better judgement, I have become…accustomed to you.”
“Fair enough. All I needed to know.”
“I’m so glad.”
“Shall I call for teleport now, then?”
“What!?”
“I’ve still got my bracelet. Sorry, didn’t I mention?”
“You…you had your teleport bracelet all along? This entire conversation was…”
“Yep.”
“…you realise of course that I only said - that - out of pity for you, as a compassionate act.”
“Yeah, ‘course I do. I’m as stupid as I look, remember?”
“…how could I forget?”
Title: Thaw
Characters: Avon and Vila
Pairing: None (you could read it as slashy if you wanted to)
Rating: PG
Summary: 'Did your mum keep you in the fridge as a baby?'
“We’re going to freeze, Avon!”
“Quite possibly.”
“I don’t want to die. I’m too young. There’s so much I haven’t done.”
“And so much I’d be glad for you to shut up about.”
“You’re scared too, aren’t you? Admit it. You’re scared. And you’re glad I’m here so you won’t die alone.”
“I will admit to being concerned about the situation, Vila. I am also cold. And irritated. Periodically experiencing some slight digestive discomfort. Perhaps very slightly dehydrated. But as for being glad that you are here…surely even you are not quite so deluded as to believe that.”
“Well…I’m glad you’re here. All right, I’d rather it be Gan, or Cally. Or Blake. Or Jenna. Actually I suppose sitting here in an ice-cave with Servalan and Travis would be better in a pinch than being stuck here with you. But you’re better than nobody at all.”
“I gush with joy at your touching revelation. I am so warmed by it, in fact, that the very ice beneath my buttocks is melting.”
“There’s no need to be sarky.”
“There’s no need to be anything else when you’re around.”
“You just can’t do it, can you? You can’t have a normal conversation without sharpening your tongue on somebody.”
“We are trapped in an ice-cave five hundred metres below sea level, and without our teleport bracelets, which are somewhere under that snowdrift, we have no way of contacting Liberator. I would hardly call this a normal conversation. Then again…”
“’Spose not. But you could at least try to be civil in our last moments, couldn’t you?”
“No.”
“Why are you like this, eh? Did your mum keep you in the fridge as a baby?”
“I wish she had. It would have been good practice.”
“Oh, ha ha. Very funny. Do you do the galactic comedy circuit or can you only manage gallows humour?”
“Your whining is becoming intolerable, Vila. If you don’t stop it, you will not have to worry about freezing to death.”
“Well that’s charming….hey, what’s the matter? Have you hurt yourself?”
“I hit my head when the roof collapsed. It’s nothing.”
“Sorry. I didn’t know. Anything I can do?”
“Yes, actually. You can do me the courtesy of dying silently. And don’t tut at me.”
“That’s an Auron curse, you know. ‘May you die alone and silent.’”
“Sounds like bliss to me.”
“I know you don’t mean that. Is it me or is it getting colder? Come here.”
“Why?”
“We ought to share body heat. It’ll keep us alive longer, give the others time to search for us.”
“Come any closer to me and you’ll be removing stalactites from your face for the next thirty years.”
“It’ll give us more time!”
“Just go over there and be quiet.”
“You’re seriously saying that a cuddle from me is like a fate worse than death?”
“Vila, I have often reflected that breathing the same air as you borders on a fate worse than death.”
“You ought to be right at home here. That’s not blood in your veins, it’s ice water.”
“Then inflicting your physical proximity upon me won’t make you any warmer, will it?”
“Oh, I give up. It’s like you want to be alone and miserable.”
“No, I want to be alone so that I might have a little peace and quiet in which to reflect on my life.”
“Really? Reflect on your life? What conclusions have you come to, then?”
“I haven’t yet had the opportunity!”
“All right. I’ll sum it up for you. The life of Kerr Avon in five chapters. One, get born. Two, go to posh Alpha science academy. Three, commit fraud, badly. Four, escape prison and join the rebels. Five, die in an ice-cave with somebody you wouldn’t even spit on if he were on fire. Am I about right?”
“No. You forget the epilogue: kill Vila and steal his thermal suit.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“No, I wouldn’t. It’s malfunctioning, like mine.”
…..
“Avon?”
“What now?”
“Just making sure you were still…with me.”
“I am. You have not yet succeeded in talking me to death.”
“D’you think they’ll miss us?”
“Who? The others?”
“Well, yeah.”
“If you mean will they notice our absence, yes, as soon as they want a dirty job doing. If you mean will they care, that is far less likely.”
“You’re wrong. They do care about us. Well, I don’t think Jenna likes you very much, and for that matter neither does Gan, and Blake thinks you’re planning to kill him and steal his ship, but I think Cally’s fond of you. Well, she doesn’t hate you. Well, she might do, but she also fancies you. A bit.”
“Really? Are you sure of that?”
“Pretty much. Why, d’you fancy her?”
“Not Cally, you moron. Blake. Does he really believe I’m planning to steal Liberator out from under him? Murdering him in the process?”
“Nah. Probably not. Don’t know if he really trusts you, though.”
“Perhaps there is hope for him yet.”
“Why do you always do that?”
“Hmm?”
“Make out you’re worse than you are. Make people think you’re all cold and conscienceless and horrible.”
“I stick toothpicks in puppies, too.”
“See, you’re doing it again. Turning everything into a nasty joke, even when it’s about you. Whenever something bad happens you laugh at it, like you’re expecting the universe to torture you and you’re glad to be right. Ever heard of the self-fulfilling prophecy? And don’t. Don’t make another sarcastic joke. We’re all on our own, and we’re going to freeze to death, and I want a straight answer out of you for once.”
“I am not entirely clear on what the question is, if indeed there was one in all that melodramatic rambling.”
“I’ll make it easy for you, then. Why are you trying to turn yourself into a computer, shutting off your feelings, pushing everybody away? What happened to you to make you end up like this?”
“Interesting question.”
“What’s the answer?”
“Oh no, Vila. I won’t have you filching secrets from me like that. A fair exchange, however, is no robbery.”
“All right, what do you want to know? I’m not scared. I’ll tell you anything you want.”
“Very well. Here is my question. Why do you have such a phobia of your own competence?”
“Oh, here we go. Sarcasm again. I give up. You just won’t…”
“It was a serious question, not an insult.”
“I don’t get you.”
“You don’t merely pretend to be stupid - you actively choose ignorance, wherever possible. It isn’t merely laziness, as I thought at first. It isn’t even cowardice, though that plays a part. You speak of self-fulfilling prophecies. What prophecy are you trying to fulfil, Vila?”
“I’m just trying to survive. That’s all.”
“By pretending to be an idiot? The oldest trick in the book. But it isn’t as simple as that. So tell me, Vila Restal: why are you afraid of yourself?”
“I suppose…I suppose I’m scared that if I really tried, I wouldn’t be good enough.”
“Nonsense. You excel at your chosen profession, and you are proud of that fact.”
“Ta.”
“Answer the question, and I’ll answer yours. Truthfully.”
“…I do it because it’s what you need.”
“What I need?”
“Not just you. Blake, Jenna, even Cally. Most people I’ve met. They need a dipstick.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“A dipstick, it’s a thing they used to use to measure the depth of oil in old-style motor cars. It’s also another word for being thick.”
“My compliments. I wasn’t aware your sense of humour had developed to the level of making puns.”
“You see? You need it. You need me to be daft so you can measure yourself against me and come out as superior. Blake doesn’t need me to open doors and crack safes every five minutes, and anyone could fire the neutron blasters. The only thing I’ve got that you all need, all the time, is inferiority. And I can do that, I can be a fool for all of you. The thick little Delta. All of you safe in the knowledge that no matter how much you mess things up, you’re not as stupid or useless as that poor git Vila. That’s why I don’t try to be better than I am, Avon, and why I pretend to be worse. I’m just doing my job, playing my part.
“Avon? You’ve gone really quiet. Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.”
“Come on, then. I’ve answered your question. Your turn. I’ll put it in a nutshell - call me soppy if you want. Why won’t you love anybody, or let them love you?”
“The latter is simple. People who love me end up dead.”
“…what about the first part?”
“I rather think it’s getting colder in here.”
“Avon?”
“To borrow a quote…’I suppose I’m scared that if I really tried, I wouldn’t be good enough.’”
“You mean you’re worried that if you try to love somebody, you won’t be able to? Everyone loves. Unless you’re a crimmo. You’re not a crimmo, are you?”
“A psychopath? I don’t know.”
“You really don’t?”
“I really don’t.”
“What about the people who loved you and died? Didn’t you love them as well? You must have, otherwise you wouldn’t care.”
“You’ve had your answer. Stop analysing me.”
“I don’t believe you. I think you’re just scared that if you love someone, they’ll hurt you. Really hurt you.”
“That would be the cliché, wouldn’t it?”
“What would you do if I said I loved you right now, this minute?”
“I’d say you were about to die. And I’d be right.”
“Can’t really argue with that.”
“No.”
“Say you love me.”
“Why would I do that?”
“I want to see if you can. Prove it to yourself. Go on.”
“Vila, merely saying the words does not make the emotion genuine.”
“Yeah, except sometimes it does, though.”
“Don’t be absurd.”
“Look, if it doesn’t mean anything then it doesn’t matter, does it? Just say it.”
“Why?”
“I want to see if you can, even when it’s meaningless. I want to see if you can even form the words.”
“This is a pointless exercise.”
“Humour me.”
“I…”
“Go on. I’ll stop bothering you if you do. Promise.”
“I…love you.”
“Wow. Didn’t think you’d actually do it. Doesn’t it feel better, though? As though you’ve broken down some of the barriers, just by saying it?”
“All I can say is that I never expected to welcome death so utterly.”
“Thank you. For saying it. I needed to hear somebody say it before the end. Do you know, nobody’s ever told me that they loved me?”
“I do wonder why.”
“Did you mean it? Even a little bit?”
“Don’t be stupid.”
“Come on. Inches from death, nothing to lose. I know your big secret, you know mine. One more revelation won’t hurt anything. Who’ll know?”
“Vila…”
“Yes?”
“I dislike you quite intensely. You are lazy, poorly educated, irritating, self-absorbed, and above all nosy. However…however, that being said, I suppose I would not entirely prefer a universe without you in it. I suppose it might even be said that, despite my better judgement, I have become…accustomed to you.”
“Fair enough. All I needed to know.”
“I’m so glad.”
“Shall I call for teleport now, then?”
“What!?”
“I’ve still got my bracelet. Sorry, didn’t I mention?”
“You…you had your teleport bracelet all along? This entire conversation was…”
“Yep.”
“…you realise of course that I only said - that - out of pity for you, as a compassionate act.”
“Yeah, ‘course I do. I’m as stupid as I look, remember?”
“…how could I forget?”