A poem
Maybe I'm more than content being content. It makes me happy or pleased. Just don't care to have a new face around I guess. Sorry.
I don't care to hear about your band when we first meet. I don't do coke or acid. I don't care to hear how you can beat up the bouncer at a club in Akron. To be completely honest I judged you the moment I even heard your stupid name. I gave a look as if I were confused and slightly disappointed when I heard someone with your stupid name was even going to be near me. Don't get me wrong. I'm sure you fooled my friend into thinking you RULE! In fact they buy it so much they are happy we could all get together and hang out, but I'll change that.
You see...I'll get high before we have a conversation, and won't make eye contact with anyone. I'll make fun of your shirt with whatever band is on it. I'll pee on my hand before I shake yours. I'll tell a story about me as a baby, and tell you how cute I was. Then I'll force you to see pictures of me as a baby just to prove the point. After you start showing discomfort (and you will) I'll put in my Revolting Cocks CD and explain why Al Jourgensen is a genius. I'll talk about Al Jourgensen for 25 minutes then stand up and dry hump my chair. You will ask to leave, and we will part ways forever.
I might end up feeling bad after my friend calls me later that night to see if I was OK. No, No I won't. I will tell my friend "Yeah I'm fine, but your friend you brought over is a total bitch". They will ask why. So I answer " Just something about them I don't like". My friend will be confused, and I will lie and say " I caught him shooting heroin into his balls in the bathroom. We don't need a douche bag like that in our lives." They will be stunned!
Sorry man, It's not you. It's me!
I don't care to hear about your band when we first meet. I don't do coke or acid. I don't care to hear how you can beat up the bouncer at a club in Akron. To be completely honest I judged you the moment I even heard your stupid name. I gave a look as if I were confused and slightly disappointed when I heard someone with your stupid name was even going to be near me. Don't get me wrong. I'm sure you fooled my friend into thinking you RULE! In fact they buy it so much they are happy we could all get together and hang out, but I'll change that.
You see...I'll get high before we have a conversation, and won't make eye contact with anyone. I'll make fun of your shirt with whatever band is on it. I'll pee on my hand before I shake yours. I'll tell a story about me as a baby, and tell you how cute I was. Then I'll force you to see pictures of me as a baby just to prove the point. After you start showing discomfort (and you will) I'll put in my Revolting Cocks CD and explain why Al Jourgensen is a genius. I'll talk about Al Jourgensen for 25 minutes then stand up and dry hump my chair. You will ask to leave, and we will part ways forever.
I might end up feeling bad after my friend calls me later that night to see if I was OK. No, No I won't. I will tell my friend "Yeah I'm fine, but your friend you brought over is a total bitch". They will ask why. So I answer " Just something about them I don't like". My friend will be confused, and I will lie and say " I caught him shooting heroin into his balls in the bathroom. We don't need a douche bag like that in our lives." They will be stunned!
Sorry man, It's not you. It's me!